


Sometimes, You Suffer Twice

by CredenceXGiggleWater-Saves-The-Soul (WatchOverYourAssButt)



Category: Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them (Movies)
Genre: Credence Deserved better so he's getting it, Credence and Anxiety, Credence and Depression, Credence and PTSD, Credence and Squad Feels, Each Squad Member Connects Differently, F/M, Fluctuating Obscurial/Obscurus, Gen, M/M, My Own Take on Obscurial/Obscurus Theories (for Credence's), Perfect and Imperfect Caretaking, Recovering Credence, Recovery with The Squad, The Squad (Tina Newt Queenie & Jacob), Up and Downs of Recovery
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-01-23
Updated: 2018-03-20
Packaged: 2018-09-19 10:25:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 76,707
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9436049
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WatchOverYourAssButt/pseuds/CredenceXGiggleWater-Saves-The-Soul
Summary: "...P-please... Please, help me..."Neither of them had planned beyond this point, so of course they surely hadn't planned anything for the far future. All they knew was they had to help Credence, and that's what they were going to do.





	1. Finding Me In The Dark

**Author's Note:**

> I just want to say thank you to my friends who have helped me with feedback, especially my new friend on tumblr, ilovecredencebarebone, who has received many of my messages asking for feedback on various parts of this fic, thank you for being patient ;;  
> Anyways, Credence Deserved Better, he stold my heart, this Harry Potter fan who has loved and obsessed for years yet never had a fave and now has one in this character. And this is just my way of paying tribute, because I just got the idea of how each one of the main group which yes i am calling The Squad, could help him and then I decided, why not make it into a fanfiction?  
> I do hope you guys enjoy, let me know what you think, and I'm functioning under a lack of for sure info on some subjects, so if they differ from your opinion or from the canon, just take it as my own headcanon!  
> Enjoy!

 

 

Chapter 1  
**Finding Me In The Dark**

                Tina hadn’t officially returned here since her trouble over saving Credence. She’d been forbid from going near the Second Salemers, and that meant this church, too. Especially the church.  
So she had yet to see the damage left by poor Credence and his Obscurial. No, she didn’t go near it against until her restrictions were cleared and her place on the Investigative Team reinstated. And she honestly wouldn’t have considered going back to it, if it hadn’t been for Newt.  
He was escorted to the docks by Tina, only to turn on her and reveal what he witnessed, what MACUSA couldn’t know.  
Credence was alive.  
Now, of course, at first she was doubtful and completely against hoping. But Newt told her, he’d seen the slither of Obscurial escape, and that meant one of two things…either an Obscurial was still loose on New York and needed to be caught, or it was what was left of Credence, and it had escaped to find a safe place to regain strength. And Newt, either in knowledge or hope or both, believed the latter.  
And so he begged to stay, to help.

“I still want to save the boy, Tina.” He had told her.

So did she.

And so they set off to find where he might be hiding away. Newt said he would probably seek out somewhere he believed secure or safe. And Tina, for the life of her, couldn’t think of any place Credence could possibly view as safe or secure. The only place that was perhaps secure was his home at the church, but that surely never felt safe. But something in her told her to search there, whether it be belief that he simply had nowhere else to go, or just intuition.

When they arrived on the front steps, Newt and Tina looked over the damage. It was still in absolute ruins. Some small items of remembrance were left, but apart from that, it was left in its destruction.  
“MACUSA hasn’t fixed this yet? What will the Obliviated Muggles think?” Newt questioned as they took careful steps traversing inside.  
“They think it was a freak accident.” Tina began explaining, careful of her steps as she looked about at the wreckage. “Mary Lou’s supporters cry that the Witches are to blame, while non-believers think it was some crazy explosion.” She caught Newt’s gaze, who was more daring as he traversed the rubble. “With Mary Lou and her oldest daughter dead, it seemed best to make it seems as if they died in a freak accident…”  
Tina’s heart was heavy. She saw the broken balcony, spotted Credence’s belt hanging from the banester. She looked over all the damage against the walls, the stairs, the pews. She tried not to wonder what damage was reactional and what was emotional.  
Newt had made his way to the ruins of the stairs, considering Apperating but unsure of how stable it was up there. “Do you think…?” he started, only to look to Tina and catch her shaking her head as she looked elsewhere.  
Her heart ached as she heard distant but familiar shudders of breath outside, yet close by. “…Out on the corner.” She told Newt in a rushed release of breath, and she hurried back outside, round the ruined churches structure to the corner ally that had the Second Salemer posters stuck upon them.  
In a dark corner, curled up against the broken wood of the churches east wall, he sat. He sat, shaking, shuddering and whimpering. The darkness around him seemed to shift and as Tina stepped slowly closer, she saw wisps of darkness gliding over strange wounds; wounds she could only think came from the Auror’s attacks.  
Tears stinging in her eyes at the knowledge of all the pain he’d suffered, Tina stepped slowly and carefully closer, hearing careful footsteps behind her as well. She slowed her progress when Newt stood beside her, only for them to both stop when the young man inclined his head in their direction.  
Pursing her lips, Tina took a moment before speaking up, hands up as a sign of reassurance. “Credence…it’s okay… We’re here. We’re here to help you.”  
“You’re safe, now, Credence.” Newt added.  
Credence looked up at them completely then, eyes red and raw as he hugged his knees, shaking. His face contorted with emotion and a struggle to speak before the words finally came, and they came out scared and desperate and pleading.  
“…P-please…. Please, help me…”  
When he was then reduced to tears and sobs, the other two closed in carefully and securely, ending up on either side of him as the darkness around him faded away.  
“Credence, it’s alright—It will be alright.” Tina spoke softly, quietly, and she knelt down beside him.  
Once she was close enough, he took the invitation that was her outstretched hand and arms and leaned into her, grasping her jacket and becoming nothing but a shaking bundle of sobs, tears, and whimpers. And Tina didn’t hesitate to wrap her arms around him. She found herself muttering what felt like useless reassurances in a soft tone. It was all she could do to keep her own emotions in check, only she could do to satisfy the need to somehow soothe the young man in her arms.  
Newt reached a careful hand which he placed half on Tina’s hand and half on Credence’s shoulder. When he spoke, it was soft and careful as well. “Credence… We’re going to take you somewhere safe, where you’ll be alright…”

Neither of them had planned beyond this point, so of course they surely hadn’t planned anything for the far future. All they knew was they had to help Credence, and that’s what they were going to do.

And to begin with, it was hectic; Tina back on her job, she tended to get more busy than she liked. Newt could barely manage to leave the apartment or his suitcase, what with Magical Law Enforcement thinking he’d gone back across the water already, back to the M.O.M. and out of their lives and no longer a problem. On top of that, the unthinkable happened about two weeks after they brought Credence back to the apartment; Queenie brought home Jacob (or, well, snuck him), and not simply him, but Jacob Kawolski—memories returned!  
Each of the household had been in a buzz; Queenie confessing her visits, Tina worried but happy, and Newt silently proud. It took a while until they finally tried to pull it out of him. He started talking about the poison and its potential, and assuring a questioning Tina that he wasn’t even sure it was entirely fault of the poisons Obliviative properties failing (he’d have to study Jacob), but it was Jacob who stated the loop-hole he’d fathered to be the answer that saved him his memories. “Newt here, he told me it could get rid of bad memories, that poison stuff from the Swooping thing…but not a one of my memories with you guys was bad enough! Not the wizard police, or that jerk Graves or Grindle-what-you-call-him, or even the Erumper-whatever chasing after me! I’ve never been happier than with you guys…”

And with an obvious promise of secrecy, adjustment to the increased number of guests/visitors/occupants of the household, all of their new lives were set in motion. As whether they knew it or not then, they all had begun something together. Tina, Newt, Queenie, Jacob, and Credence.  
Whether they knew it or not, what they had begun was a family.


	2. As Dreamt Now Lived

 

 

Chapter 2  
**As Dreamt Now Lived**

                Credence had never known why, when those people in the long-coats with wands in hand came and spoke of their ‘memory charms’, he’d seemed unaffected by their efforts.  
After Ms. Goldstein had stopped his mother that one meeting, Ma had never remembered, no one had, except him. He’d always wondered whether he was immune or not…but looking back, he was beginning to suspect otherwise. Mr. Graves had been the one assigned to Obliviate him, and he knew now, Graves had just kept him informed and aware so he could be useful. He faked the Obliviation, or perhaps just erased partial parts. But he remembered, remembered enough to dream.  
Since that day, when his dreams weren’t filled with darkness or his beatings, they were of her, finding him in the snow or in the ally outside the church, saving him. It always ended with a warm smile, one he thought he’d never deserve to see ever again in his waking moments.  
But now was different, living in Tina and Queenie’s apartment. She’d come to him when he was secluded in the corner of the main room, as the others talked and reminisced or  were preparing a meal or something other. She tried to talk, but he could never engage, so she would gift him a warm smile, inform him he was safe, he wasn’t alone, and would leave him to his choice of seclusion (they had all learned quick that over-worrying about him made him feel worse—problematic, and it made him nervous, so they learned to try their best to back off, despite all of their nurturing/caring natures).  
But the moment he started growing slowly, slightly out of his need for seclusion, his Obscurus energy that had been present, almost always hovering or gliding over his wounds, it having faded around that time (Newt assessed that the Obscurus had been healing him in that time, and perhaps was part of the influence behind his need for seclusion), he earned more smiles than he’d ever had in his life, and that wasn’t counting Queenie, or Newt when he was out of his case and present, or even Jacob when he stopped by.  
Some of her simple smiles were small, natural. They were simple and so easily given, and kind. Those were the ones that felt most undeserving to him. Because he never felt like he earned such kindness, he was unused to such being freely given to him.  
Then as his lessons and hours of history on bits of magic began (usually initiated by his own curiosity, though Tina was making a habit of it, because the boy wanted and needed to learn and she hadn’t worked out a way to offer him any sort of education yet, so he would have to be taught at home). When he got excited by a subject, as minimally as the excitement showed, or when he caught on to something quickly, she’d gift him this pleased, excited smile. Those, he at least somewhat felt like he earned, even if the soft spark in her eyes felt like too much.  
Then there were the big, happy-laughing, near-tears smiles when he’d open up, and open up almost happily, and they’d talk and share back and forth. Like speaking about both being orphans.  
She’d given him one of those shaky but very happy smiles, when he’d confessed to feeling like he now had a real sort-of family. He’d hesitated to tell her, fearing the feeling wasn’t mutual and he was just a responsibility and a nuisance, and sharing was just a pressure on her. And further, he thought perhaps he was getting attached to them and their attention and care too quickly, and he would be judged if he confessed.  
But she was so happy, so glad to hear, to know he felt that way. He knew, from that moment on, stuff like that was okay. He would have to adjust and remind himself to trust that, but her face, she seemed so happy to hear… So it was okay, especially if it earned a smile like that. To be a cause of any smile was a foreign blessing to him. He hadn’t had that since Modesty.

His time with Tina, when he had it, was the most grounding for him, certainly what he needed to begin with. Having the most history and trust between the two of them, he found her opinions and words and care comforting, and so when she was home, he’d gravitate towards her.  
Like now, as she returned from work at MACUSA, she’d found him in his room. It was kept far more religiously clean than her own or Queenie’s, and they both used magic for half their chores. It was simply an ingrained responsibility they eventually realized, and she refrained from talking too much about it (it didn’t stop her thoughts and feelings on the matter, though).  
Checking on him as he’d had his door cracked, she was amused at the fact that he was so deeply immersed in the book he was currently reading (one of their books on the History of Witchcraft and Wizardry) that it took him nearly a minute or so to realize her presence (when he was usually so alert).  
When he finally did, though, he got his book mark (a paper, Tina had noticed, that he had some obscure art drawn upon) and put the book away, standing, as if at attention. He was wearing one of his old shirts they had managed to acquire searching the ruins, but a pair of pants Newt had given him—buttons around the waist, no need for a belt. His hair was still decently kept, though Tina could swear it had grown, just a little, as if the absence of threat of harsh sheers to the strands allowed it to grow now.  
“Sorry, I didn’t…realize.. Have you been standing there long..?” he asked in his still careful tone.  
“No! No, no..” she shook her head. “I just, you know, came to check on you, but I didn’t want to interrupt your reading. You don’t have to stop just because-” she started saying, but he carefully shook his head.  
“I’ve been meaning to take a break, to check on the dishes and things.” He told her.  
She gave him a small, amused, but reassuring look. “You know, Queenie can manage in seconds, you don’t have to.”  
“I know, but I…” he shrugged, ducking his head. “I don’t mind.”  
She nodded. It was hard to understand, at first, how he functioned, but one thing at a time, they caught on (Queenie’s insight was extremely helpful). She and Queenie, and the other men agreed, if he got a strong enough need to clean or straighten or sort, let him. It was a habit he was still unable to shake needing to do so often and intensely, and sometimes it was a distraction, something familiar to feel better with.  
“Well,” Tina began, “I was wondering if you were up for another lesson today. Or if you had anything else you wanted to know about Ilvermorny or anything?”  
His smile was small (as they still tended to be), but the interest showed in his eyes. “Yes, I’d like to. E-either.”  
Tina nodded, excited, and waved for him to follow into the dining room, which he did. And of course, as he passed the brown, beaten case on the way, he first noticed one latch was popped, then noticed something scurrying up the fire place, undoubtedly towards the shimmering item on the other end of the mantle.  
“Tina…” he warned in a whisper, and she spotted the niffler as Credence hurried for Queenie’s pearl necklace that had been left about. As he snatched it, Tina caught the niffler just as Newt poked his head out of his case. “Tin-oh. Yes, just what I was looking for… Sorry about that, you know how he can be.”  
Tina sighed, handing over the squirming creature. “Yes, I know—can you not just…get him his own, not-stolen collection of stuff?”  
“Ah, I’ve tried that.” Newt said, shoving the niffler down into the bag, and seeming to struggle to keep him there as he went on. “He likes to acquire it himself, so…really, it’s an attitude problem.” He remarked. Tina rolled her eyes, Credence shaking his head with a small smile. Niffler stowed away down in the case, Newt gave them both an awkward smile and returned inside.  
“I’m going to return this to Queenie.” He stated to Tina, who nodded and started levitating papers onto the dining table.  
Finding her in her room, sorting clothes she’d finished cleaning and drying, he knocked on the door frame to get her attention. She looked up with a kind smile.  
“You ain’t gotta knock, sweetheart, I knew.” She stated, spotting the pearl necklace in his hand. She walked her way over with such simple grace and took the necklace gratefully, offering him a sweet peck on the cheek that made him duck his head. “Thanks, Credence. Now go have fun.” She encouraged with a sweet wink.  
He smiled back and went off to join Tina again as she was dressed down to just her shirt without her jacket now, ready to relax obviously, despite how what she was about to be doing could be seen as work. She seemed excited, though, so Credence forced down the thoughts and worry over possibly inconveniencing her and silently struggled to convince himself otherwise as he joined her.  
“Alright, so after a slightly hectic day today, I got an idea, just to refresh you and test your knowledge on what I taught you on magical law.” She stated.  
He nodded obediently. “Okay.”  
“You remember the levels of threat, of course.” She assured yet also asked, not wanting to assume either.  
“Yes.” He slowly nodded. “Six levels. Low threat, moderate threat, high alert, danger… Um..severe… I forget the exact words s-sometimes…”  
“It’s okay. It’s always hanging above my head on a big clock, and took me a month to remember, when I started.” Tina reassured.  
He gave her a small smile, looking concentrated a moment longer before, finally, remembering as he stated, “Unexplained activity!”  
“That’s right!” she nodded, grinning.  
He smiled and nodded, too. “And emergency.”  
“Perfect. Now, I have some old reports, I thought we could sort them according to what level they may fall under, is that okay?”  
He nodded. “Yes.”  
She smiled, glad he was up for it. “Alright, let’s get started.”  
She started with a mix; a few cases of magic in different areas being performed in front of No-maj’s. It was a trouble, a nuisance, but it wasn’t exactly a threat. Except one case, Tina was proud Credence caught, where they had missed a witness in a Obliviation, who  was stirring trouble and awareness for nearly more than two weeks. He sorted it as Low Threat, and smiled to himself when Tina nodded proudly.  
Queenie soon started on dinner as they delved into more cases and reports, sorting pretty well with only a few corrections on Tina’s part, as Credence sometimes had difficulty figuring the right differences of severity between Dangerous and Severe. But they were halfway through the papers when they came across a somewhat recent one. It was one about a smoke, or force of air and energy, with white eyes. Credence read the paper, with shaking hands, reading over the damage brought to some corner he was familiar with. He remembered…being told, there, how his family was filled with lunatics and they should return to whatever village they left in cinders.  
“….This was…this was me…wasn’t it?” he asked suddenly.  
Tina, looking over other files she’d been about to hand to him, glanced curiously. “Hmm? What-…oh.. Credence..” she looked worried, slightly panicked. Even Queenie halted her work in the kitchen, glancing discreetly as she bit at her lip.  
“I…what I am…what’s inside me, it-” he was going on in his realization, voice close to shaking, too, when Tina carefully took the paper from him.  
“Yes… Credence, yes, it was your Obscurus.” She admitted honestly.  
He hesitated a moment before asking abruptly, “What level…?”  
“Credence.” She spoke carefully, her tone sympathetic to what he must be feeling. She glanced to Queenie, who wore the same look, but heavier, as her gift gave her an entire other level to the situation.  
“Please, Tina, just…tell me.” He spoke weakly.  
She hesitated, but she always tried to be honest yet careful with him. “…This was..one of the first reports, so we had no idea what the cause was, though the damage… It was under Moderate.”  
He just slowly nodded, laying his hands in his lap under the table, balling his fists as he shut his eyes and ducked his head.  
“…I know its still hard, hearing or remembering, Credence. But we’ve told you, with an Obscurus, it’s a hard situation with no obvious source of blame, so please don’t-”  
“I know.” He spoke carefully, voice faintly heavy with emotion, even with only two words spoken.  
She pursed her lips, eyes sympathetic. It was hard to know, whether the thoughts and feelings going through his mind and heart would bring on what they’d started labeling a Black Out (since Credence rarely remembers and usually has no control, only feeling when he has an attack of his Obscurus). It had taken some time for him to explain in his own words, since he’d almost had a moment with Queenie over her ability and how invasive and initially threatening it felt; he didn’t like people knowing his thoughts, his feelings, how his mind worked, without his permission. So after a time of him and Queenie coming to an understanding on that, he opened up to Tina. He struggled to put it in the right words at first, but eventually, he explained the experience. What he feels…the bad events and the bad feelings, the hate and pain, it would all be felt but then shoved away, because he was never allowed to express extreme or yearning feelings, therefor he tried not to feel them until he was alone. The most rare experiences of it overcoming him was walking the street or sitting at home alone for some reason and his emotions getting out of hand, but most often, it was in bed at night, when his mind was shutting down. It would wander and release, and the emotions and thoughts with them, with the walls down, would elevate higher and higher into feelings of hate, fear, or pain. He was left gasping, nauseous, and/or shaky until he had a moment of clear breath and almost control, and then he’d black out. He'd never been entirely sure, in the past, of this being that dark energy inside of him, he'd only thought he had weird, nervous problems which his mother didn't care to address. It was only after everything with Shaw, and then fearing Ma was going to attack Modesty, that the realization really hit home.  
His thoughts got away from him, in a way he couldn’t control and no one, not even he, could know if it would become another attack until it was nearly too late.  
So Tina wanted to be careful. She wondered if a touch was okay, and when she heard a cough from Queenie, she knew it was. So she moved a careful touch to his shoulder, giving a small grip, and there was the faintest shift in her direction at the touch, which told her he appreciated it, craved it.  
As he sniffed, quiet in his own thoughts, the only one that was now moving again was Queenie who was back to her task of cooking.

The rest of the evening was a little tense, attentive, as the rest of the day left Credence thinking about…a lot of it. Queenie offered him a decent cut of her strudel, Newt eyed him in his discreet yet not so discreet way with worry in his eyes, now and again, and Tina would offer him smiles. He appreciated their small efforts, almost enough to feel better (as he’d had no such consideration like this in his previous home life). But it was still hard to shake, even after two months of living with them and growing used to them, more comfortable and such, and it made him feel fragile, like a babe they were having to care for, and he hated that, too. So when Queenie left to go bring Jacob up (apparently catching some loud thoughts from him nearby), and Tina saw Credence was still a little put out, she decided he needed to get out. So she stood and offered her hand. “Will you let me take you to Central Park?”  
He looked to her and her outstretched hand, taking a moment to consider, before nodding and taking it.  
Tina looked to Newt. “Tell them we’ll be back in a little bit.”  
Newt nodded. “Of course.”  
“Tell Jacob… I-I’m sorry.” Credence asked him to apologize for not staying to greet him.  
Newt gave a small quirk at the corner of his mouth. “I'm sure there's no need, my friend.”  
With that, Tina Disapperated with him, appearing on the empty bridge, street lamps lighting them where they stood.  
Tina started to let go of Credence’s hand, now that they were here, but he gripped it lightly. Looking to his still-ducked-head stature, she just kept holding his hand instead.  
“Can I show you some magic?” she offered in a gentle tone.  
He raised his head partially, glancing at her before he slightly straightened up and nodded.  
She smiled and nodded, taking out her wand and lifting it into the air.  
He followed the movement with growing fascination, awe he believed he’d never grow out of as he witnessed her magic.  
“Aqua Eructo.” She spoke the spell, and as she waved and glided her wand to and fro, a stream of water released and streamed through the air, floating and circling before them as she waved her hand in a circular motion.  
As he watched, Credence’s face melted into a soft look of awe and peace, furrowed brows relaxing and lines vanishing from his forehead. Tina gave a flick of her wrist at him, and the water danced and circled around him. His lips tugged into a small smile as he watched.  
She smiled, too, watching him before considering the next action. The stream formed a sphere before them as she half offered her wand. “Do you want to try..?”  
He stared at the tool for a moment, and she saw the interest before it faded into fearful reluctance. He shook his head, dropping his gaze.  
“Alright, not yet then.” She nodded, and with a swish of her wrist, the stream glided off before joining the water under the bridge.  
“Thank you…for offering.” He remarked.  
“Of course.” She smiled softly, giving his hand a soft squeeze. With that, they started walking, her casting flashy little charms for him, for only him to see. She made sure to speak them to cast them, so he knew the words. They were all slowly trying to teach him, even if he hadn’t acquired a wand yet or knowledge enough to use one. Which was a good thing, as he didn’t seem to feel he was ready. Before, with Graves, he was intent on learning, he had been so willing to try anything just to be given the chance to learn. But after seeing how bad he got when he was out of control, and what bad people did with magic, he was hesitant, greatly so for someone with such an obvious fascination and appreciation of magic. In time, though. In time, he would find his moment, she had hope.

Eventually, she felt he was ready to return, and they managed to get back before Jacob left, which made them all happy to have that time all together. The rest of the night was warm and simple, with promises of a meal soon to come one evening, made by Jacob and Queenie.

The night slowly winded down, with the other three seeming to take turns silently worrying over Credence. They did minimal cleaning, as Credence was again taking it upon himself. It was a distraction, and they wouldn’t dare take it from him right now.  
When the night came, though, it was their growing tradition. Goodnight hugs. Tina and Queenie weren’t unused to it between one another, but they felt Credence could do with good hugs, and to keep him from feeling a bad, childish sort of special, it became something they all did (and honestly, none of them complained, as maybe they needed it just a little, too).  
Tina got her hug first, she made sure of that. She was all arms, but careful, not wanting to overdo it. But there was always that comforting rub of her hand between his shoulder blades before she let go. And then she turned to hug Newt, and they were both a little awkward.  
Queenie was next for Credence, whom he was finally getting used to her brand of hugs from, as sometimes they were…very enthusiastic. Her hug was tight, firm, and she always gave a soft hum, as if it were satisfying, one of the best hugs. Then she’d release him with a smile, sometimes a fleeting kiss to the cheek, and go for Tina, having already hugged Newt.  
Who was last for Credence. The hug was almost awkward, as Credence had learned they shared a similar social awkwardness that held them back from knowing exactly how and when to act (even if for different reasons). It always started awkward, hard for them to find how to place arms, how to hold, how tight if at all tight. But they always found that relaxed moment right before the hug ended, where Newt’s chin rest briefly on his shoulder, and Credence shut his eyes before backing off.  
They all bid one another goodnight, Newt opting again for resting in his case rather than the other spare bed. He wanted to be sure Credence had comfortable privacy and space. So the young man returned to his room, almost considering doing more reading before bed. But the thought suddenly felt sadly unappealing, and his heart dragged him heavily down into bed where he burrowed under blankets and shut his eyes tight.  
He feared his night would be like this, and had little willpower or thought of how to stop it. But once he fell asleep, he was tormented by nightmares.  
_The blast from the MACUSA in the subway, the comforting and yearned for touch and all the care and guidance it entailed from Mr. Graves that turned inside out, as if it burned and wounded him, and last was his mother. The whipping, the anger, and the rage and hate and disappointment, and knowing there was never any love. Just a dark heart, always seeking control of everything._  
_And with the thought of control, everything was black and growling and there were faceless cries and whimpers that he feared… he knew, he caused._  
Whimpering “No” into the night, there was a shift in the air that seemed to stir the whole of the apartment.  
Tina woke with a weary since of worry, reminiscent of what she felt that night down in the subway, and so she quickly slipped out of bed, wrapping herself in her night robe and nearly running into Queenie as they were both groggy and heading out of their room towards Credence’s.  
“Nightmares, the poor thing…” Queenie told her, and looking sadly to her sister, she said, “It’s bad, Teenie…”  
Tina hurried into the room as she heard the opening of Newt’s case and the sounds of his creatures in a tissy until they were silenced again.  
She was careful to enter, unsure if he was awake yet or not, and she didn’t want to startle him. He was shaking and whimpering, but still curled in on himself, eyes shut tight. Oh, how she wished she knew a charm to ease these out of his life. His last bad dream, she’d asked Newt if what he’d extracted from the Swooping Evil could somehow help, but Newt still struggled working it into controlled solutions and what happened with Jacob was still missing sure factors and was honestly a hoped for but happy accident, meaning strong results weren't something he was sure he could create. And beyond that, he made the point that, even without his memories, Credence would still possess the damage and then he’d just be left wondering why he felt so bad.  
She stepped a bit further into the room and spoke in a careful whisper, “Credence…?”  
“Don’t.” she nearly jumped as Newt whispered behind her. She glanced in confusion but he went on before she could ask. “We must be careful. Look at the dark corners…” he nodded to the shadows in the corner of the room.  
She looked, not understanding at first why he would point out shadows, only to see the shadows shift up and down the walls, even the floor and she realized it was stemming from him.  
She looked to Newt. “Is his Obscurus going to…?”  
“I can’t be perfectly sure, he’s the only one I’ve had prolonged chance to study in this state, and his is such a rare case, but…I don’t think it’s another Black Out. The mass shifts and writhes when his Obscurus feels the need to protect or lash out. This…” he looked around the room then back to the whimpering boy, empathy clear in his features. “…This is just emotional outflow. His mind tries to shut down at night, so everything withheld is unleashed… His emotions, I think, when heavy, are simply a trigger for action for the Obscurus. It’s simply the severity of his emotions that leads to the severity of action taken by it.”  
Tina looked to Credence, her chest aching, and her herself restless, needing to do something. “So what do we do?”  
“We stay where we are and try to wake him carefully. His Obscurus may not like us getting so close in such a vulnerable state for Credence.” He stated.  
“You talk as if it cares for him.” Tina assessed, shaking her head, as it was a ridiculous thought. Especially when Newt himself had called it a destructive parasite that strives to kill its host.  
Newt silently looked to her. “…I’ve come to believe that his Obscurus does.” He confessed, and when that earned a look from Tina, he ended the discussion with a hushed explanation. “He or his magic, or both, have been strong enough to survive this long, it doesn’t seem impossible to me that the Obscurus adapted accordingly to its host… He wasn’t weak enough for his magic to waste away and him with it, so it had to change into something…entirely unheard of, to function with him.”  
With that, they stayed as they were, by the sliding doors to the room. They took turns calling to him, talking softly and hoping to stir him without alerting him awake.  
“It’s alright, Credence… I know it feels bad right now…” Tina spoke.  
“Credence, we promise, it will start to stop, if you just open your eyes.” Newt spoke as well.  
Credence shifted slightly, but didn’t fully wake.  
“We’ll work through this, Credence, it’s…” Tina noticed the darkness sliding along the ground and the walls seem to shudder a bit in their direction. She bit at her lip before speaking again. “…I know you hate feeling like this, but it’s okay to feel. It IS okay to feel.” Her tone was encouraging and reassuring, though she feared he wasn’t even hearing.  
The dark mass of shadows in the room, though, seemed to calm, no longer shaking in their direction.  
“Credence…she’s right, it’s alright to feel. It’s alright to speak of what you feel. It’s alright, just…don’t trap yourself in the pain any longer, because you’re…afraid to feel.”  
His words, spoken with care, pushed it. Whether too much or just enough, whether towards Credence or against his Obscurus, it set something off. With a stressed whine, Credence shot to sit straight up, awake, and the darkness around the room released with a blast before vanishing.  
It of course left books knocked from their shelves, and Newt and Tina cast to the ground, a few other things knocked over. He looked around, tears in his eyes as his mind escaped the torment of his dreams and took in the wreckage of his room. Looking to and fro, and then at his friends who were standing slowly.  
His shoulders rose and fell with his slightly labored breathing. “I-I didn’t mean…I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean…” he pulled his legs slowly to his chest, burying his face in his knees and whining against them. “I’m sorry, I’m so sorry.”  
“It will be okay, Credence.” Tina reassured, her and Newt feeling it okay to enter now. She came to him first, stopping by the bed and carefully sitting on the edge by his feet while Newt made his way slowly.  
“We’ll take care of you, promise.” Newt told him, and earned a whining sob.  
“Credence, I know… I know what she’s done to you, what she caused, but…” Tina hesitated to go on, but Credence’s sob pushed her to go on. “I know you must think this is too much…that you’re not allowed to accept..all of this… That woman made you feel like you didn’t deserve anything but what little she gave you, but she was wrong, Credence!”  
With a gasped sob, he looked up to Tina, tears streaming, and then, shaking, he leaned in her direction; a hesitant act, looking for comforting touch but so deprived of it for so long, he didn’t risk forwardly asking for it. It didn’t matter, though, because he got it. Tina wrapped him up and pulled him close, almost cradling him.  
“Sshhh, sh, shh…” she rocked him lightly, hand on his head and the other rubbing over his upper back.  
Newt stood aside, watching, seeming to think this was what was needed for the moment. Queenie came to the door, Newt’s case in hand and he gave her a thankful nod and she carefully lay it down at the door. Newt had barely considered offering for Credence to come with him inside it, so either Queenie, with her extra senses, believed the boy should, or perhaps those senses helped her see their young friend felt the need for it himself.  
They were silent for some minutes, allowing Credence’s tears to slow, his sobs to stop, and his shaking to decrease mostly. When he’d gained the most calm he was able to, Tina backed off just a little, to look at him.  
“Are you still tired?” she asked him softly. He shrugged smally, taking in a shaky breath and letting it out heavily. So then she asked, “Do you want to talk about the dreams..?”  
He took a moment, as if considering, before he shook his head.  
“Okay…do you want to go in-”  
She didn’t even have to finished, he nodded; that’s what he wanted, felt like he needed, as he looked to the awaiting case, then to Newt. And Newt just smiled warmly.  
“You’re always welcome, Credence.” He assured Credence, going for the case. “I’ll let the others know you’re coming for a visit.” With that, he opened the case and entered, leaving it open for Credence and Tina to follow.  
Credence sat a moment longer, but looking around the room, he just needed to be out of there. He stood, and with Tina’s help, they made their way into the case, Tina continuing to offer him small aid, taking him into the case carefully and navigating the small hut after Newt, who was already going through his habitats.  
Tina just hooked arms with Credence as he walked carefully, looking around with that same fascination. Sometimes there was a fearful hesitance, but thanks to Newt he was learning better what to fear and not fear.  
“I’ll stay for a little while.” Tina told him.  
He looked to her, a worried, regretful look on his face. “Y-you don’t have to.”  
She hugged his arm. “Just for a bit, then.” She offered instead.  
He couldn’t argue anymore against that, her presence and all it brought being a great comfort, especially her touch currently. So, he just nodded. “Okay…”  
She smiled warmly to him as they sat together.  
And so they sat, for some hours, in that case. Sometimes they talked. Mostly Tina, though, as Credence didn’t have enough energy for real conversation. Sometimes they watched Newt cradling, chasing, and scolding his creatures. Tina giggled, smiling when she saw a small smile on Credence’s face every now again when they watched Newt struggle. She asked if he had a creature he favored, admitting she was fond of Frank (the Thunderbird had left, only to return again, sensing Newt was still there and having thought he would continue with him until they were closer to Arizona, the whole event of the bird finding him causing a small need of Obliviating between him and Tina before he got him into the case, where he stayed once again). On the subject of creatures, though come to find, Credence found his current favorite climbing up his leg.  
Newt, passing by, took notice of the slender green creature now on Credence’s knee. He chuckled. “Ah, Pickett.. I, uh, think he’s becoming unsatisfied with my attention these days..” he made his way over, offering his hands, saying, “I can take him…”  
Credence shook his head. “No, he’s fine… I don’t mind.”  
The little bowtruckle smiled at Credence, and blew raspberries at Newt, who scoffed.  
“It seems they’re all reaching a rebellious phase.” He remarked. “But at least he’s in good company.” He smiled smally to Tina and Credence, and Tina grinned back, Credence just smiling down at the creature settling to sit on his knee.

The rest of the week was rocky, and on some of those days, it killed Tina to be working, unable to go to check on Credence (she was getting so preoccupied with the young man, it was almost harder to work and she knew she needed to keep it balance, for everyone’s sake). With Queenie working too, sometimes just as long as Tina, Newt was the only one left to be there. Tina greatly appreciated Newt. He cared, so genuinely, and fairly. He stayed to help. She was so thankful he stayed, for many reasons, though she was waiting for the day he would have to leave, and how that would leave all of them. He had his book, the Ministry… So she would just have to enjoy and appreciate the time they had while they had it.  
Friday came, and she was able to leave a bit earlier this time, heading home with Queenie to find Credence sitting reading on the sofa.  
Glad to see he was reading again, and out of his room, she thought a nice trip out again would be good. She was asked to do a little scouting, as they got reports of a man disappearing and reappearing all over New York. So far, it was seen as an elaborate show by the No-maj’s, but MACUSA was worried about it and were looking for the source. So Tina thought perhaps she could show him what it was like in the day of an Auror.

She had no idea what that day would bring, and what it would do to Credence from that point on…but given the turmoil, it was perhaps an unthought-of step forward for the future.

Being out and about, they were a bit careful. Unable to manage a way to reveal Credence’s survival to MACUSA without them seeking punishment, control, and/or execution, Tina had managed with Queenie’s help to cause happy accidents to most reports on Credence, at least the detailed ones that would describe him physically. The most recent, or the reports of him as a No-maj, were mostly left when also describing his family, so it was more a situational report than personal and held less detail.  
But to still avoid him being recognized or noticed by any fellow witches or wizards, Tina just lightly altered his appearance for while they were out. A more brunette shade than dark brown, with his hair, and slightly longer, with lighter eyes. She hated it (because she felt like she was telling him it was bad to be him, despite the disguise being for his safety), and she promised him it was for his safety, and they wouldn’t do this forever any time they went out—it would change back the moment they arrived back home. But he was obedient. He wouldn’t complain.  
Walking the streets and sidewalks in arm with Credence, she offered a smile to him. It was to keep up the sociable act, but it was genuine as well.  
“…Tina? C-can I ask you something?” Credence carefully spoke then.  
“Of course you can.” She told him.  
“It’s…well, it’s not an extremely important question.” He explained to her, still hesitant to ask.  
She looked to him with a reassuring look.  “That’s fine, too.”  
“W-well…how..how does the Magical schooling work?” he looked to her as they rounded a corner. “What about normal school and what they teach you? I can’t understand from the book I’ve been reading, how you… I just wondered..”  
“Oh, well, depends on the school and the parents, the family sometimes. And the money, too, can sort of play into the preferences.. Like a wealthy family, they could have their child in private No-maj classes if they still had basics to learn or no-maj stuff they wanted to specialize in, while they’re attending their magical school. Seems like a hassle to me, though (just because I don't have anyone else to focus on career wise). With me and Queenie, we had enough exposure and involvement in the non-magical world that we had normal school until we were ten, then a little home teaching before we went to Ilvermorny. That was before the dragon pox.” She shrugged, speaking softer, features faintly sad over the talk of her family.  
Credence wore a soft expression, caring and sympathetic. “I’m sorry.”  
“Don’t be.” She shook her head. “But, uh, it’s not like there isn’t still that basic stuff involved in magical school life and learning.” She shrugged. “It’s just different for everyone.”  
Credence turned his head away, gaze dropping as he spoke. “Well…d-do you…do you have to know certain things, to get in..? I mean, what if you didn’t have proper schooling…?”  
She glanced to him as they stopped at a corner they meant to cross the street at, but hesitated. “What do you mean?”  
He turned his face away from her, the nature of the act making her think he felt ashamed.  
“…You’re worried your schooling wasn’t sufficient enough..to be able to learn magic?” she ventured a guess, from his reaction and questions.  
He ducked his head a bit. “…Ma always told me I…I-I’d never understand enough…for another sort of life… She said I didn’t know enough, couldn’t learn well enough, to get to better myself with higher learning.”  
Tina, at this point, was losing count of the number of spells and hexes she wished she could have performed on that woman. She reached for his hand, gripped it, and spoke in a small, careful voice heavy with withheld emotion. “She was wrong, Credence. About so much. But I can tell you this…everything unknown now, you can learn. It’ll take time, but it ain’t impossible.”  
He didn’t fully raise his head, but his gaze did trail up to her. “…So I could..go to school..? To learn magic?”  
Beyond changing his name, looks, and keeping up with a fake identity, that seemed like a very hard thing to try and manage. And that’s not counting his age.  
But the wish, the hope in his eyes, it wasn’t something that should be crushed ever, and this was an important factor in his life that needed to be addressed somehow. So she knew, somehow, some way, she needed to make this possible. Even if she had to have Newt take him to Hogwarts, or just somewhere in England to learn, instead of going to school here. She could try with MACUSA, but she couldn’t entirely trust to instill his hope in that. Not with how they seemed to feel about him.  
“Yeah. You can. In time, you definitely can.” She told him.  
She saw that hope grow in those dark brown eyes, warming them.

“What the hell?!”  
“Is this a show, did he really do that!?”  
“Were those Barebone's right?”

The two of them both looked ahead, their attention drawn to the commotion across the street. Tina walked with him to the crowd, not thinking she’d actually happen across the source of the reports tonight, but also hopeful she could put a stop to it. She carefully pushed through the crowd, people muttering their curiosities, wonder, and worry over the vanishing man while none of them moved to help him.  
It was only when she finally caught sight of him clearly, she stopped, Credence bumping into her with an apology in the process. Worry in her heart over what the sight of the man would do to Credence, she turned to him, grabbing him by the shoulders. “Credence, will you please go wait for me across the street?”  
“What?” he was surprised and confused. “Tina, why, what’s-”  
“Credence, please, don’t ask, just turn around and go!” she urged under her breath, but he barely budged from her words and her push.  
Instead, it just put him on edge as to what would make her act like this, request what she requested of him. “Tina…?”  
“Credence, please, trust me.”

“Tina…-stein… Goldstein.”

Her stomach dropped at the sound of Percival Graves voice. Not for fear of it, but what the sound of it and the presence of its owner could do to the boy before her.  
And at the sound of the voice, all color faded from Credence’s face and his breathing quickened, face contorting in pain and fear as he looked around her to clearly see the evidence.  
The older man looked up at the two, eyes glazed and weary, a mess of the man he once was.  
Credence was shaking already, on the verge of hyperventilating, looking as if he might run. Tina knew she had to act fast. She had to keep this under control, safe…  
Pulling her wand out but into the cover of her coat, she cast a water summoning spell, which blasted water from the fire hydrants nearby, drawing everyone’s attention well and long enough.  
She took Credence’s shaking and slightly resistant hand, reached to grip Graves’ shoulder, and Disapparated.  
When she reappeared within hers and Queenie’s apartment, she cast Patrificus Totalus on Graves and turned her attention to Credence, who was shaking and on the verge of whimpering as he couldn’t stop looking at the man.  
She pulled him back to his room, to keep him away from Graves as she tried to talk him down. “Credence—Credence, I’m so sorry, if I’d known the man in the reports was him, I wouldn’t’ve-”  
“Y-y-you said… You and Newt said he was taken.” He complained in a thick, shaky voice.  
Tina gave him a pained look at his misunderstanding. So she explained again (Graves and the truth of Grindlewald were hard subjects to ever speak of with Credence, even more of a trigger than his mother and family life tended to be, so they hadn’t talked about it in a while). “No. No, I’m sorry, Credence, it’s probably still confusing to you..”  
He ducked his head more, as if ashamed of his ignorance, and Tina almost regretted it, but she kept speaking.  
“The man who spoke to you…who tricked you and lied to you, he was living a whole other lie. He used magic to look as someone he wasn’t, and acted as if he were him, the man who hurt you is named Grindlewald and…and you’ve never seen his true face, but… The man in there is the real Percival Graves, I can bet, who looks and sounds like the man who hurt you…but you two have never met officially…”  
Credence shook his head, whimpering, and Tina knew it didn’t make anything better, if it even made sense at all. He trembled, shaking his head, and as Queenie called for Tina, obviously spotting the petrified man, Credence made his way towards the suit case at the end of the bed across from his own and climbed down inside, Tina spotting the trail of dark smoke that followed him.  
Queenie called, “I’ll watch out for Mr. Graves!” and Tina was thankful for her sister’s gift in that moment as she followed after Credence. On her way, she found many of Newt’s creatures scurrying or running for safety. Newt made sure most were okay, but his attention was becoming solely focused on Credence.  
“Credence, it’s alright, you’re safe here. Do you need me to stay here...?” he was careful, he always was, in respect of Credence’s sense of comfort and safety, whatever he needed.  
Tina came up beside him, explaining quickly and quietly, “We found Graves… The real Graves, while he was out working with me… It was a report about a wizard Disapparating in public, I didn’t know…”  
Newt looked to her and back to Credence, him and Tina watching Credence’s smoking form as he went for the snowy habitat as if it were a combination of a proper shelter and a proper punishment.  
They followed, watching him fall to his knees, shaking and whimpering.  
“I-I can’t…can’t control it, I’m s-sorry..!” he sobbed and cried, smoke and shadow seeming to steam off of him.  
“We know, Credence.” Newt assure him they understood.  
“It’ll be okay..!” Tina spoke, but feared it was a weak reassurance as her voice quivered with her worry, and fear of what this situation would do to him. Newt still had no answers for how Credence survived, so they had no evidence beyond Newt’s personal theories that the Obscurus wasn’t killing him even now…  
He whimpered and whined before finally muttering, “P-please just do it…H-help me.”  
Knowing what he meant, they both set to quick work, taking out their wands to cast a barrier spell to hold him, in a sort of bubble shape. After he’d seen the other Obscurus in its containment, was told the containment held it, and that they could use spells on him, he begged they do it if he ever Blacked Out, because otherwise he dealt a lot of damage and risked hurting Newt’s creatures.  
He sobbed as his shaking turned into shifting just in time for the barriers to surround him absolutely. The dark mass of his Obscurus energy blasted and knocked against the barrier, a roaring cry coming from inside, but it was stuck.  
Tina came and stood before it, close as a tear fell. She saw the shape of him, though not perfectly solid, looking curled up and she swore, sometimes the Obscurus’ sounds seemed like wines. It broke her heart. Newt stood just behind her, watching Credence with a similarly heavy gaze.  
“…My friend, we promise you…this struggle will pass. I know feelings can be unstable, they always are, but you WILL overcome this and we will be there, every moment you want us.” Newt spoke.  
Tina nodded and forced a smile. “We’re not going anywhere.”

They lived by their promise quite literally over the next few hours. Other than checking in on the babies and more excitable creatures, Newt stayed. And Tina, never thinking otherwise, stayed with him the entire time, asking Newt in his business to check on Queenie (who was fine, simply watching over a very weak man who was in need of food for the time being). Tina shh’d Credence when his Obscurus energy got restless, and even starting humming softly and shaky when the mass would groan and writhe.  
By the third hour, the mass faded and Credence, looking weary and drained, sat curled up, arms ducked between his legs. Tina and Newt quickly removed the barriers and dragged him from the cold to the wooden steps that led to Frank’s habitat. They sat him down, and for the time being, he just stared off blankly at nothing.  
“Credence…It’s been a while since you ate. Are you hungry?” Tina asked. There was no answer, just staring, so she tried a last push (he didn’t eat as much as they did anyways, which she hoped they could change). “…Do you want to eat?”  
At that, he shook his head, shining eyes unblinking. She wasn’t sure what was worse, the shaking or the numb blankness.  
She just let the food go, for now.  
Newt came over with a big, long blanket; yellow and dark blue patterned, and handed it to Tina. “For you both.”  
Tina was about to deny her need, but realized she was cold as she gave a harsh shiver. She looked to Credence, opening it and holding it towards him instead though, as if to ask if it was okay to put it on him. He said nothing so she slowly and carefully wrapped it around him.  
He didn’t shake it off. He actually settled it around his shoulders, before he half glanced in Tina’s direction, and lifted the arm she was nearly leaned against. Confused at first, thinking he wanted it off, she caught on that he was offering for her to be under it. She gave him a thankful smile and scooted under, wrapping the blanket around her shoulders. She took his hand carefully, comforting, and eventually found him laying his head on her shoulder, vulnerable and trusting as he shut his eyes.  
She wasn’t sure what pushed her to do it, but she started humming to him like she had before, a lullaby her mother used to sing, and she didn’t bother moving for another few hours.

To prevent another Black Out, the three of them agreed in little words upon Credence staying in the case while Tina dealt with their guest.  
And though his presence didn’t last longer than a few hours more in the apartment, Tina was soon very busy with work; working with her fellow Aurors and MACUSA members to figure out what happened to Percy and where Grindlewald had had him (since there was no way he’d talk). She was integral to the entire investigation and process, because of her layers of involvement.  
And so she couldn’t be home as much, and when she was, she was still a little busy, and Credence found it hard to gravitate toward her as automatically, because of the subject and presence of Graves and MACUSA and realizing this would always be bound to come up around her, so he would just be on his own reading or he’d be silently helping Queenie or Newt. In time, it calmed. In time, the negativity leveled again and Credence was forcing himself to accept things like this would happen still in his life. That had been hard; he had experienced a few more attacks over it from panic and fear, or frustration, followed by a few weeks of recovering, and sometimes he still had trouble. But, in time, their way of functioning together found its balance again. As it had to, things in their lives, roles and needs shifted and changed. But it would all be for the better, in the end.


	3. As Sketched In Pen, Now Painted In Color

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (So I'm beginning to realize, my idea of the girls apartment may be a little off, but I don't know that I have the time to figure it out and edit, so please overlook it if there is any layout problems (let's just pretend there was either a hallway that led to a similar room with sliding doors/or/they're magic and Newt's obviously got extension charm talents, so maybe they magically made one, either way, please forgive my mess up and focus on the story instead DX enjoy!)

 

 

Chapter 3  
**As Sketched In Pen, Now Painted In Color**

                With Tina regretfully and sometimes begrudgingly busy, Queenie started taking initiative. Jacob was getting busier at the bakery, with its popularity growing, and on top of that, Tina expressed worry for her sister visiting and bringing him around so much. Not that she didn’t want him around, but she knew if they were caught in proximity to him by anyone from MACUSA, his state of mind and memory could be suspected. Or just their intentions, whether the no-maj remembered or not, not being of importance.  
So when Credence (over worrying) felt as if he was beginning to bug Newt, spending time in the case so much, she started talking to him more. He was a bit against it at first, because of her blunt approach, but she got better at approaching him about his thoughts and feelings, and helping him with them. Besides; whether or not he’d admit (or if he even realized it or not), he sometimes appreciated not having to struggle to find the words to explain himself.

“You should know, he never minds, sweetie.” She told him as he was straightening his room. “Newt appreciates the company of a friend.”  
Credence didn’t say anything, just glanced in her direction to show he heard, before nodding.  
“You hungry?” she asked softly.  
He hesitated to answer, not really wanting to eat, yet he knew he felt hungry. And he couldn’t lie to her, so he just nodded.  
She gave him a soft smile. “Okay then. Broiled chicken with baked sweet potato sound good? I’ll figure the other sides once I see what we got.”  
He gave a half nod. “That sounds fine.” Honestly, anything they made was far better than the pitiful soup or damn-near torturous gruel he was used to from his Ma.  
She gave him a soft look before leaving, the small smile she’d offered in the look telling him she probably heard those thoughts, caught the glimpses of him holding down the bile over the punishment meals, or the times he’d lay in bed holding an aching, hungry stomach when he was made to go without.  
Once finished with his room, the smell of food now billowing, and his mind falling towards his mother and family again, he tried to turn it towards magic instead. Only to feel as if he were too incompetent, trying to put himself in that world, self-judgment attacking him in his mother’s voice. He tried to force himself not to think, but it was harder to do so when he wasn’t busy doing something, so he considered going to see if the dining room or main room was dirty.  
“Credence? Can you come help me a minute?” came Queenie’s voice, and he went to see what she needed.  
“Yes?”  
The meal was practically done, making his stomach growl, but he noticed she had dough and flour and other such things for making one of hers and Jacob’s pastries (most the time, together, they'd make it by hand). He’d had a few of them, and tended to feel very embarrassed and self-conscious about how much he loved and enjoyed the sweets. He was sure she knew that.  
“Wanna make some? You like’em so much, I bet you’d make great ones.” She told him, smiling. “Love and joy, corny as it sounds, always make it taste better. It’s a magic all on its own.”  
Well of course, when put that way, it was hard for him to resist. He was now very curious and just a little excited at the idea of what he might be able to create.  
He looked to Queenie, offered a small smile in the quirk of his lips, and nodded in answer.  
Queenie gave an excited hop. “Oh, good! Let’s start then, know how to work the dough?”  
He nodded, he’d at least done a little bit, more often to raise money than for their actual house hold. He rolled up his sleeves, the faintest of scars on his forearms that he hesitated for a moment, and Queenie kept her attention elsewhere by gathering ingredients so he didn’t feel like she saw and stared. She sensed he wasn’t taking notice of them much longer, which was good.  
As he started working, she prepared the jam and flavored powder. He glanced to her. “Any shape you’re wanting?” Credence asked, eventually as he worked, as Jacob loved making something fun out of his work.  
Queenie shrugged and smiled. “Naw… You make what you feel.”  
He halted, considering her words for a moment, before slowly continuing as his mind was working up something to make.  
Working together, Queenie helping Credence shape it to his liking while leaving it slightly hallow in parts for the jam filling (grape with a sweet cream swiped around the edges inside). Queenie kept silent, excited and supportive through the whole process until it was finally finished.  
What became of it was something Credence worried wasn’t any good. It had parts streaming and curving upward, he thought chaotically, though Queenie seemed to really like it.  
“Isn’t it…a mess?” he questioned.  
Queenie gave him a look. “Aaww, no, Sweetie. No, I think it’s amazin’! Oh, it’s your own little masterpiece…” she admired it with a pleased smile, sprinkling over it with powder.  
“You don’t think it’s…”  
“Chaotic?” she looked to him with that knowing look. He ducked his head with a nod. “Well…I ain’t going to deny what you see or feel about it, ‘cause your interpretation is yours. But me? Wanna know what I see?” she nudged his shoulder lightly.  
He hesitated, but she seemed so pleased, he wanted to know what good she could see out of the chaos he made.  
She watched it fondly as she explained. “I think it’s hope, not chaos. Sure, it’s messy, but it looks like some wild, chaotic flower in bloom. And I think that’s just beautiful!”  
He was surprised by her interpretation, looking back to it, considering it differently now. It was hard to see, at first, but…he almost started to see it. Thinking for a moment about how he had felt and thought, making it, he realized amongst working out his negativity into that shape, he had longed for and considered hope in his life beyond the chaos.  
Queenie gave a brief and careful hug to Credence’s arm before they both proceeded to dish out the food.

And so it came to be like that between them. When Credence’s thoughts were harsh, his emotions heavy, they would cook. Sometimes Jacob was there to join in, or twice, they’d gone to help him in his bakery (Tina had begrudgingly warned against doing that too much anymore, for the same reasons as him coming around).  
But there were a handful of times that, instead, they actually talked through what he was feeling, when it got really bad. They actually don’t do a whole lot of real talking. Credence, thinking of one thing or another when he was having a bad day (the hell of a life he’d lived through thus far, or how he fears hell of the future), he would get so low that he was on the verge of tears.  
And he knew how bad it got, when his emotions got away from his control, so he was trying even harder to stifle it sometimes, despite the open environment he was in now.

Queenie knew when it was happening, and knew it would only get bad if he continued with this. So she addressed him straight on, like she knew sometimes needed to be done.  
He was on his way down the hall when she caught his arm.  
“I know you don’t want to, sweetie, but…but you gotta try and let this out… You gotta do something with it other than trap it inside you…”  
“..B-but…” he sniffed, forcing it down even now, it causing his voice to shake. “…I can’t control it. It gets out and it gets u-ugly and I…I’m-”  
“I know you’re scared.” She spoke for him, and he lowered his head. She was glad he had yet to pull his arm from her touch. “I know, it’s terrifying.” She was so gentle. “But you can’t keep doing this to yourself. Let us help you find a way? Otherwise you’ll just continue the abuse they put on you… And you don’t deserve that. You never did, Credence.”  
He gave a small, short sob from the buildup of it all and her words, and Queenie took his hand, guiding him to the room he was heading for, just not entering the case as he was intending on doing. She guided him to his bed, sitting on one end as she then made her offer.  
“How’s about this..? I talk. You feel. And I talk. And you think. You never have to talk unless you really want to. Okay? Just try…”  
He looked up to her, with that scared-little-boy look, before dropping his gaze and nodding.  
Queenie hesitated, just reading what he gave off before speaking. Her face soften with sympathy as his mind zeroed in on what was currently consuming him, beyond the constant multiple sources of trauma acting up any time he felt so negative.  
“Oh, your little sister, Modesty… You think you failed her…?” she quirked her head, empathy present as she saw images of them drawing together late at night, or him cleaning her doll when another kid had made a mess of it by tossing it in a puddle out in the street, or them marking the floor for hopscotch. And then she saw his mother’s dead body, his sisters crying face, yelling at him, screaming before running in fear. He hadn’t seen her in person since. “You worried about where she’s at?”  
He slowly shook his head. “No…after the first few weeks, I…I asked Tina if she could find her, she looked for her for me. Modesty lost her memory of it all because of that rain, but Ma and Chastity were dead and I was gone, so…she ended up with a new family. With a new ma, and a pa. She’s safe. Happy.” He looked to Queenie, the tear- and fear-filled eyes of his sister showing in his mind again. “She’s better off, now…”  
“You think she’s better without you?” Queenie stated.  
He sniffed a few times and nodded, head curling down.  
Queenie sighed, squeezing his hand and thumbing the back of his palm soothingly before saying, “I don’t think that’s it, for her.”  
He glanced up questioningly, for only a moment.  
“I think she is better without that toxic family life. But from what I see from you, it…I don’t know, seems more like you were the good from that life. Maybe her only bit’a good, like she was for you.” She stated.  
He shifted faintly, brows pulling and relaxing as he considered her point. He felt that heavy self-hate and judgment, and it told him he couldn’t have been anything honestly good for anyone, much less Modesty, but…those memories, of nights up late, or going shopping together the few times Ma had enough money for new clothes, it had seemed so happy, so good then.  
“What’s so bad about you…huh…?” Queenie asked then, interrupting his thoughts about his sister, and making all his focus turn to his self-judgment and self-hate once again.  
Brows furrowed, he looked to her, as if that were a ridiculous question to ask. “…I-I’m a freak… A monster, you…you saw what I did. You’ve seen what happens to me… I couldn’t control it, couldn’t keep my sister safe, I-” his voice was falling into a quiet whimper.  
“You told us, and I’ve seen in your memories… What you did to your mother, what happened to your mother from your Obscurus, that happened when she was about to beat your sister. Credence, you never emotionally used that defense on her to protect yourself, though you had every right to….but it lashed out to protect your sister. That shows that you have such…amazing care for others, and a view of who is good and who is evil.” Queenie tried to tell him.  
“But I didn’t know a-about him…” he remarked, thinking of Mr. Graves, ducking his head further, and Queenie tried not to focus on how personal his thoughts got over the man and what Credence had once believed of him.  
“Neither did Tina, until it was too late, and she’d known the real Graves longer than you. Credence…you feel like something dark and monstrous, I know, Sweetie, and I understand, but…you, who you really are? And I can see just who that is… Who you really are is someone so pure, big-hearted, thoughtful… You are more amazing than you realize.” She smiled to him, speaking almost proudly.  
He looked up to her, sniffing.  
She inclined her head, keeping his gaze. “You. Are. Good.”  
He kept looking to her, feeling as if he should look away, her words seeping into his chest to plant belief and hope (it felt like sparks poking in his chest, around his heart), and he tried to push most of it away out of habit, but it couldn’t be helped. There was still that small enough part of him that wanted, needed to believe, needed to hope in better things, in different, more gentle beliefs, that it latched on to any bit of hope, of any shape or form, that was given to him.

Hope was slowly growing. Very slowly, the process being more of a give, and lose, and give again, but even so.  It took a really hard day for Credence to look on any of his friends with almost angered doubt when they tried to tell him it was alright, or that it would get better, or that he was good. Healing was a slow process to go, but at least it was going.  
Times came, of course, that made it harder than it naturally should have been.

Tina returned home one night, to find Credence and Queenie cooking. She was unsure whether that was a sign of a good day or a bad one trying to be made better. The letter she’d been given at work today to pass along stay clutched in her hand before stowing it away in her jacket, offering to help, going to check on Newt, altogether trying to keep herself busy. How she could have even accepted the letter, she was still questioning of herself about. She was afraid to admit to anyone she’d considered bringing it home to Credence. But of course, Queenie would find out.  
Silently knowing, she’d give her sister worried looks over the dinner table as they’d all come together to eat again, as the last meal they’d had, Tina had been doing some work she’d had to bring home, and Newt was busy with extra care for some of his creatures. Queenie seemed worried, but she also tried not to show it. Newt noticed Tina’s discomfort, but other than hesitant glances, he hesitated to ask.  
Credence, of course, was the one to speak. Because if no one else was, then he had to. Because Tina’s silence and nervousness both worried him for her, as well as made him nervous.  
“Tina…?” he spoke carefully, practically finished with his food, though she was eating slower. “..Is something wrong?”  
She glanced up at him, and he could see in her eyes something was wrong, but she forced a smile and shook her head. “No. Credence, everything’s fine. Just a busy day today, is all..”  
He narrowed his gaze, only to drop it, putting his silverware down. “…You’re lying; I can tell something is wrong… If you don’t want to talk about it, I understand, I was…just worried.”  
Empathy and guilt in her face, she looked to Credence and shook her head. “..Credence, it’s not that I don’t want to talk…” she took a breath and sighed, looking to Queenie, who gave no help; apparently, her sister couldn’t be sure if the information would be bad or not, they just assumed it would be bad. “It’s just something that’s hard to talk about…that it worries me to talk about…”  
He looked up to her. “…Is it about me?”  
She hesitated, but slowly nodded.  
A pang of fear in his chest over what exactly could be on her mind having to do with him…on her mind, after coming home from work… Did MACUSA know about him? Was he in trouble? No, she would have told him, she’d protect him if that was the case…right? Swallowing down the panic tingling like ice and rising in his chest, he spoke, “…A-about what I did? My family?” he suddenly worried, panicked. “Modesty..?!”  
She shook her head. “No, Credence. Your sister is perfectly safe…”  
He looked to Queenie, who had been watching him, and who’s gaze almost wavered, but she kept eye contact with him despite what she must know, and then he looked back to Tina. He could see, out of his peripheral, Newt sitting up a little straighter. Ice seemed to settle into his veins then as he asked, “…Is it about him?”  
Tina hesitated, and then nodded. “…It’s nothing threatening, G-Grindlewald is still locked away, and the real Mr. Graves is finally nearing the end of his recovery, it’s just…”  
“Give it to him, Tina…it’s best this gets done and over with.” Queenie advised.  
Credence looked between the two of them, and then to Tina as she sighed and pulled out an envelope. She hesitated, gripping it, before looking to Credence.  
“…He had to be told what happened, what…what Grindlewald had done and pretended in his absence. And that meant telling him what Grindlewald did to you, in the persona of him… And though he understands it’s not his fault, he understood the damage and the cruelty and he… Well, he wanted to apologize to you, for what you went through. Because I-I ended up confessing to him that you were alive, he caught on to how I spoke of you, caught on that I spoke as if you were still around. He believes MACUSA was wrong, with how they handled it, and he’s promised not to tell...because, being kidnapped by that horrible wizard, he..sympathizes with you...” She looked down to the envelope. “I told him it was best for him to keep his distance, that you couldn’t… But he still wanted to express some form of apology, s-so he asked me, urged me to bring you this… I told him I would, because I knew he wouldn’t stop asking, but I was considering the whole way here whether or not to throw this away…” she held it in both her hands, not fully presenting it to him yet, but holding it as if she meant to.  
Credence just stared at it, unable to speak, breathing feeling weird, as if he could verge on hyperventilating but it wasn’t coming yet. There was no denying it, it scared him. He couldn’t pinpoint why, with what he was told, with what he knew about the situation, why would he be scared of a man he had actually never met? Why should he fear someone apologizing? But what he’d believed Mr. Graves to be, it had been so important, it had been a hope he’d clung to, only to turn into the worst betrayal of his life. How could anyone ever apologize for it, and why would this man feel the need to when it was not his actions? It made him almost wonder what exactly he might’ve said.  
“…Credence..?” Newt spoke up then, tearing the young mans' attention away as he realized his vision was blurring. He blinked away the tears as his gaze settled on Newt. “…You don’t have to. I-It…it wouldn’t be wrong of you, to turn it away…if it hurts.” He told him, in a knowing tone that made Credence wonder briefly before Queenie pulled his attention.  
“…You’re allowed to read it if you want, too. It’s your choice, Sweetie.” She told him.  
Tina still held it, her grip showing she was reluctant, scared for him, but she was leaving it up to him, they all were. It was his choice.  
With a shaky breath, he looked at it a moment before reaching with a somewhat shaky hand to take it. He looked over the envelope a moment, before starting to open it.  
“I…I think it might be a Speaker.” She warned him, and when he looked confused, she explained. “Sometimes, we can enchant letters…for various reasons, to speak what we’ve written down. Some are called Howlers, some Whispers, some Orders. It’s just enchanted to convey the words in the letter, in the tone of voice we intend the message to be brought. I-I just thought I’d warn you, you’ll…hear his voice…”  
That made Credence hesitant a moment longer, but the fear coiling in his stomach…he just wanted to get rid of it, so he started pulling it out.  
As the letter spoke in a familiar deep nature, but an unusually softened tone, ‘ _Dear Credence,_ ’, he suddenly folded the paper back and went to his room, suddenly feeling the need to be alone to read this. No one stood to follow him, at least not right away, waiting until he was in his room, before the three of them all got the same idea and tip-toed their way down to his room, stopping by the door to listen, just to watch out for him.  
Credence hesitated a moment longer, staring at the letter, just barely unfolding it and seeing the smooth but firm scrawl… The man who’d betrayed him, who’d pretended, his scrawl had been similar, most of the time, obviously another part of faking his persona…but at times, it became harsher (there had been times he’d left Credence messages when they couldn’t meet in person). This man had written with no harshness whatsoever.  
Taking a shaky breath in, and then out, and then back in, and once more out, he shut his eyes and slowly opened the letter.

‘ _Dear Credence,  
I understand that what I have to say may be pointless, may even be unwanted. With full awareness of that fact, I still needed to speak to you, to express regret and remorse for what you endured by the man who wore my face. Because I know, the criminal Gellert Grindlewald will not see or care for the cruelty of his actions, he will never give this to you.  
But I will. Tina has told me of your survival after the attack on you from MACUSA, and simply stated she’d been helping you get better. She hasn’t given me specifics, and with how worried and reluctant she seemed to tell too much about you lest your situation be found out, I didn’t ask much. Because how could I condemn a young man, so ruined by such a cruel wizard, to further pain? He hurt me, too, Credence, but perhaps in a different way than you, and I can’t say it was as lingeringly damaging, as I've been through my share of situations. She told me what you are, as well, and I looked into reports to see why exactly you’d become that (though some of the information seemed to be missing…). And yet you survived. You are a strong wizard, son, and I do expect if Tina succeeds you will become something far beyond what you could’ve ever imagined in the Magical World. You have a future, Credence Barebone, now. Stay with Tina, and those she has helping you. She will take care of you.  
As for what you suffered, I cannot undo it. I had hoped to express my regret to you in person, but as Tina expressed, such would be too hard on you, and that simply shows me how deep the damage is. I hope, one day, that the damage fully mends. Perhaps, one day, I can apologize in person. But for now, I simply say to you, Credence, that I am sorry, for the lies told to you, and the betrayal you endured. I am sorry for the hope you were given that was undoubtedly wounded, and I pray it returns to you. I am sorry, for every lie he gave you, that left you wounded once he revealed his true self. I am sorry he told you he cared, yet left you in such a horrible place with a horrible mother_.’  
By now, Credence whimpered and sobbed silently to himself as he listened, sitting on his bed with shaking hands, tears falling onto the paper as the voice of Mr. Graves continued speaking his regret and remorse and sorrow over what had been done to him.  
‘ _I am sorry, Credence, and I do not say this for forgiveness or anything else beyond simply wishing you some sort of apology for what was done to you. What you endured was unforgiveable._  
_I wish you the best in your life from here on, and I promise you and Tina, your existence is safe with me. It’s the least that I can do, amongst what few other things I might have to offer. I wish you recovery, and a full life ahead._  
  
_With the best to you,_  
_Percival Graves_ ’

As the voice went silent, the room was left to nothing but Credence’s sobs, silent now but growing in volume. And the other three didn’t think there was any point pretending they weren’t outside anymore, as instead, they opened the door and hurried inside, Tina hurried to one side to pull Credence to her as his sobs shook him, and Queenie sat on his other side, offering another hug, and Newt sat knelt before him, a careful hand upon his as they all stayed with him.

Though Credence never really edged into a true Black Out again, surprisingly from that experience, he did stay mostly secluded in his room for nearly a week. Tina would check in on him, Newt stayed in his case in the corner, popping out now and again, and Queenie made sure to bring him food, lingering long enough to really check in on him. He was aware she was reading him, and he didn’t stop her. He just felt like lying there, eyes red and wet, he had no energy beyond eating enough to satisfy the sisters and Newt.  
When he slept, the room filled with darkness, and his dreams were filled with the confusing images of Mr. Graves, what was real and what had been a lie. Whimpers of the man’s name came through his dreams, hurt clear in him even through slumber, but eventually they faded as the dreams were slowly ending with more and more words from that letter.  
Queenie found Credence reading it or listening to it now and again, and worried whether it was helping him or not to hear the man’s voice. She thought the words helped, the regret expressed, perhaps the apology was worth it. But Credence’s attachment to the man he thought he knew was so complicated and had been so dependent that it worried her. He knew now that it was all a lie, never true, but that had never fully rid him of his emotions.

When another week past, and he still had it, Queenie considered speaking to him about it. She spoke to Tina about addressing him, who just said it was his choice. Tina obviously wasn’t sure how to feel about giving it to him, because none of them could be sure if it was benefiting him or not. If it did then they would be happy, but if it didn’t, Tina would hold that guilt over herself.  
Queenie of course, with her care pushing past boundaries she was told to keep or tried to, she came home one day to find Credence sitting on the couch with Pickett and one of the occamy’s having what seemed like a very heated discussion with small chirps and squeaks. Whatever it was, it put a small smile on Credence’s face, and she hesitated to speak to him. But she noticed a folded paper, folded over a few times, sticking out of his pocket, and it pushed her to try.  
“Hey, Sweetie…can I talk to you about somethin’?” she asked carefully, coming to sit across from him after removing and hanging up her coat.  
He looked up to her and nodded, his gaze falling back to Pickett and the occamy as Pickett jabbed the serpentine creature with his twiggy fingers. “Pickett, behave. You’re more mature than that..” he lightly scolded as the occamy snapped at the bowtruckle.  
She smiled fondly, once again hesitating. He was becoming so good with Newt’s creatures, she could almost see him being a sort of apprentice to Newt. He had the patience and care and consideration, better than she and Tina did. She bit at her lip, still taking her time.  
He looked up to her, raising a brow (his hair was growing more, his brow almost vanished a bit into his bangs). “..You were going to ask me something?”  
She took a breath and nodded. “Yes…” her eyes fell to the letter in his pocket, then lifted up to him. “…Credence, I notice you still pull out that letter, now and again… The one from Mr. Graves?”  
He hesitated, looking as if caught doing something wrong, but he just nodded, eyes casting down. “I do…”  
“…It’s none of my business…and I know I may just be worrying stupidly, I just…want to be sure you’re… Oh, I don’t know how to put it into words.” She shook her head.  
“…That can be frustrating.” Credence remarked, and she looked to him and slowly smirked, seeing the smallest of smiles on his lips. He'd actually made a bit of a joke.  
“I just…want to make sure, listening to that, that it’s not…hurting you.” She finally started, quirking her head and looking to him with that look of care she had. They all wore it differently, and he’d learned them well.  
He watched the little creatures as they seemed to be settling down, on his lap and forearm, and he considered them before answering. “…It hurts, sometimes. Because it…it sounds like how he used to be…how I believed he was, when he acted like he was worried. But…but knowing it’s not…not Grindlewald…knowing it’s the real Mr. Graves, it…makes it sound different. And it…” he shook his head. “It may be foolish, but I just…I like to listen to it…because it’s like replacing him. If I can hear real, true words like that from that voice, I feel like it can help me forget the lies that used to sound the same. I don’t know if it’s good or if it’s bad for me, but it…after listening, it starts to feel better, I think.”  
Queenie took in his answer, and sighed, feeling a small weight falling off her shoulders. “Then I think maybe it is good. I just had to ask, you know?” she shrugged, hoping he wasn’t mad at her for sort of intruding on a habit of his.  
He looked to her and gave her a reassuring smile and nodded. “I know. Thank you, Queenie.”  
She beamed softly at that, and leaned to give him a peck to his forehead, which he shut his eyes to, and she went about her business which was working on a few lists for groceries and fixing up a gown of hers. She left Credence to his space, keeping a simple eye on him as she worked of course.

Things calmed for a bit, work wise for Tina, and they took the time to all answer questions Credence might have about magic, and other things that happened to come up. Queenie taught him a bit about more house hold charms as well as other useful jinxes and hexes that were a little too playful for Tina’s liking. Tina told him and taught him about these different defensive spells and charms, as well as some useful maneuvers if you were to find yourself in a fight. Newt was of course more focused on spells that helped him around his habitats, like Accio and other spells that helped him tend to and take care of his creatures, and handle their habitats. He explained a bit into how the case works, as Credence still held such wonder and confusion over how it functioned, and the potions and things he used.  
Eventually, the letter was brought up again, and Credence found daring and need enough to confess something personal. He confessed what he felt they probably could’ve assumed, and Queenie herself knew; he had cared, deeply, for the false Mr. Graves. And he asked them for their input, their help in understanding both HOW he cared, and WHY he still did. Because he had looked to Mr. Graves like the father he had never had, like that caring figure he’d needed, and yet sometimes he thought about him differently. It was as if the love and fondness and need for approval from a parent he'd never had, had shifted into something else, something he felt he’d heard of but never truly experienced.  
Tina told him that he was given what had seemed like true care, and so of course he latched onto it. He trusted it, and craved it, and sought it out when he could. He wasn’t wrong for doing that, and it’s not something that many people can’t control, much less him in the situation he’d been in. You can’t usually control your feelings for others, especially when people in your life give you happiness and care and understanding. Her eyes had flitted to Newt upon such an explanation, but the awkward man was the only one not to take notice of the look before it was gone.  
Queenie told him she could tell it became something else, from his thoughts, and she took his hands when she told him it wasn’t wrong in any way. She was soft and considerate as she both conveyed that feelings growing into more in natural and uncontrollable ways, and not only that, she said without saying that she didn’t find it strange or wrong for him to grow feelings like that for another man. She assured him that it was natural and hard to control, and that the false man probably sensed some degree of it, and did everything to groom his emotions to his liking. Credence hated hearing that, making him feel like a tool, but he understood and it wasn't too much of a surprising thought.  
And Newt assured him, that still feeling something for an idea you once loved? It was entirely natural. If it once felt good, and happy, and right, in such a deep personal way, then it could never be easy to grow past it. He confessed experiencing something almost similar with Leta Lestrange, whom Credence had heard little of unless the girls had initiated conversation with Newt, though he had been curious. She was a beautiful woman, from the picture he saw.  
Though the night had ended on a somewhat heavy note, it seemed to end with a relieving release of many little pent up things for them each. It was a good night.

But things picked up once more over the next few months. Tina was busy with some problematic Second Salem haters, witches and wizards who were trying to cause trouble, a few of them getting word of the drama with Grindlewald and seeming to edge toward partial fanatics.  
Newt was making more time out of his case, however. Sometimes he brought out his little friends, but usually did so in the seclusion of Credence’s room with the boys’ happy approval—Tina and Queenie didn’t like many of the creatures scurrying about the house, Tina especially fearing one getting loose and out of the apartment. About the only one she was okay with being out was Dougal.  
He was talking about needing to get out, considering taking a little day vacation just outside the city, and offered for Credence to come along, but he wasn’t sure he was ready for that, yet. He was now so unused to being out and about, and he’d barely ever been out of the city.  
But he _was_ getting restless.

Or perhaps frustrated was the word. Yes, frustrated. With his hair in particular, at the moment. He stood in the bathroom, trying to fix his ever growing hair. It was a mess, still mostly kept as it had been when it was its bowl cut length, simply because Credence had never had it different. But it was getting too long, reaching down around his eyes to the point where he’d have to start pushing it out of his view, and he was getting tired of doing that.  
When Queenie got home from work, he immediately sought her out, the near pouting frustration on his face as he looked to her.  
“…I-I need your help, Queenie..” he stated, lowering his just partially covered eyes. “I can’t…get it right…”  
“Oh, sweetie… It’s about time we work on this.” She gave a small smile, running her fingers through some of it. “Don’t worry. We’ll get you nice and fixed up. Come on back to the bathroom.” She guided him.  
Thankfully he’d just showered, so his hair was nice and clean, though she had him wet it as she brought out scissors for cutting it. He initially looked at them with hesitance, like he didn’t like them or her intent with them, though he said nothing. But she saw a few memories flash through his mind. That damned bowl shoved on his head, and the sheers taken harshly to his strands any time it looked to be getting too long, which was often for a while until it just seemed to strangely stop growing as quickly.  
Queenie turned him to look her in the eye. “I’m just going to trim it up, so it looks less messy. But you’re keeping the length.” She smiled encouragingly. “It looks good on you.”  
He blushed a little, lowering his gaze and nodding, smiling a little to himself as he was glad he got to keep the length. He’d been wanting to grow it out for years...  
They spent some time in there, Queenie making just a few cuts here and there, holding his hair out carefully when she did so. She brushed through it just a little once it was done, to get rid of tangles, and saw his hair was naturally drying into very nice little waves. Only difference was her cuts made it a little cleaner, and she’s brushed it over so that it parted nicely and wouldn’t get in his eyes as much.  
She turned him around to inspect him, smiling as she did so. “Much better. You’ll have to start brushing it different, and it’ll grow and adjust right, okay? Oh, you look so dashing.” She winked at him.  
He of course blushed again, having never been given such compliments before. “Thank you, Queenie..”  
She nodded, giving a wave of her wand to clean up what little mess there was from the hair she’d cut. As she stood, she looked him over, adjusting his clothes that honestly seemed too worn. Nipping at her lip a bit, she hesitated at the bathroom door before speaking, “You wanna go shoppin'?”  
He looked to her, surprised. “..What..?”  
She smiled. “Shopping. For some new clothes, primarily… I think it’s about time you got a different look for yourself, don’t you..?” she quirked her head.  
Credence looked down at himself, his clothes having always been just something to wear, keeping him warm, if it even did that. “I…I mean, I have enough that fit me..”  
“You do…but you should have clothes that feel like you, too.” She told him.  
Well, of course, he’d never had that. His entire look and fashion had been molded by Mary Lou, he’d barely had a choice in the matter. The only real change he’d made since living with the Goldstein’s was the removal of the belt. He looked to Queenie. “…You mean I could pick them..?”  
“Yes. You pick every outfit, sweetie, I’ll just help you with matching is all. That sound good?” she encouraged.  
He slowly nodded. It sounded very good. “Yeah..”  
She giggled. “Alright then. Let’s go!”  
He smiled and nodded, following her out as they almost tripped over Newt, who was…doing some strange, wiggly thing upon the ground, making little noises, staring down one of the bigger ocammy’s.  
The two hesitated, watching him with curiosity and confusion, and a bit of amusement, wondering if this was something they shouldn’t interrupt, like taming or calming the creature, but eventually Queenie gave a little cough.  
“…Newt? What exactly are you doin’?”  
He stopped, looking back to them, planting his hands on the floor. “…Sorry. H-he wanted to play.” He began to stand, the creature giving a little chirp and winding around his forearm as his hand was still planted on the ground, before he stood straight. “I’ll get out of your way now…”  
She shook her head with an amused smile. “You’re lucky it’s only us that caught you with that little guy out.”  
“Yes, I know.” Newt ducked his head, gaze following Queenie as she headed for the main room, and then his gaze fell to Credence, watching him with a strange look.  
“…What?” Credence asked, feeling self-conscious.  
“N-nothing, just…your hair.” He commented, a quirked hand looking as if he might reach to touch or feel it, but he stopped himself. “..It…well, it looks good, Queenie did a good job.”  
Credence nodded, a small curve on his lips, the back of his neck slightly warm. “Thank you.. I-I’ll let Queenie know you like it. We’re going out, for clothes.. Did you want to come?” he offered randomly.  
Newt smiled smally, eyes flitting down and he looked almost mischievously guilty. “Ah.. I would like to, but… Tina would probably be more accepting of an outing if it was just you and Queenie. I might be more likely to be spotted and get us into trouble.”  
Credence nodded. “Of course, sorry…” he’d completely forgot for a moment, Newt wasn’t even supposed to still be in New York.  
“No need to apologize. I appreciate the invitation.” Newt assured him, his smile warm, and Credence returned a similar one. Newt looked down the hall and back to Credence. “Well, don’t let me hold you up any longer—you and Queenie enjoy yourselves.”  
Credence nodded again, as Newt turned and made his way with the occamy back to the room, shutting the doors more than likely just as a precaution for if Tina made it home while he had his little friend out of the case.  
Credence grabbed his own jacket after Queenie, and together they left the apartment, careful to sneak their way out the front door, and careful exiting the building before they crossed the street and started walking like normal folk.  
Credence found being out again, with the slight wind blowing the scent of the city into his nostrils, the breeze brushing through his dark strands…to be nice, very nice. And even nicer still was the coolness of the breeze no longer biting as harshly at his scalp and neck, with how much his hair had grown.  It had been so freezing, the back of his neck and lower half of his scalp exposed during the winters when he would be tasked with handing out leaflets, or they were rallying, while Ma and Chastity and Modesty all had their hair done tight and close, with their hats on to offer extra cover. All he got was the fedora, which only helped against rain when he was out in it, or blocked bright sunlight from his eyes.  
He stood a little straighter as he walked, feeling at this moment, strangely and perhaps ridiculously, a little freer as well.  
First they stopped in on a simple no-maj store, one Credence had never been in, because it was more than Mary Lou could afford, even without being the most costly place available. Credence muttered as they walked, saying once again they didn’t have to do this, he didn’t want Queenie spending money that could go towards important things.  
Of course Queenie’s response was, “You are important, Credence, and so is your need for new clothes.” When he ducked his head further, she lightly rubbed his arm. “If it makes you feel better, I just got a bonus at work, so I have a little more to shop with.”  
He was able to accept that, mostly, but he wasn’t used to getting things, nor had he ever experienced someone so eager and sure about getting him stuff. So happy, to spend of their money on things that wasn’t benefiting them.  
As they entered the clothing store, Queenie advised him to just pick clothes for comfort, as it was a very simple variety here. He asked what she meant.  
“Oh, just…you know, you should be able to have a little variety at least. Clothes that are just comfortable, for when you’re busy or when you’re at home and you want to be comfortable. Then there’s clothes that you like to look nice in, a simple nice, but still nice. Then there are the fancy occasion outfits. We women personally have more of a variety, but I’m sure we can find you something. The magical community has just a little more imagination when it comes to fashion, so we’ll stop by one of the Wizard clothing stores later, okay?”  
He slowly nodded, surprised by this information, and then he started looking, gravitating at first to the selections that cost the least. But when Queenie encouraged him to another selection, he allowed himself to worry just a little less about the cost as he looked (very little, though). Most of the clothes here were black, but some were a deep tan or brown, some even a dark blue. He liked the dark blue pants. And the tan. He searched for matching jackets and vests. The pants had suspenders, so no belt, and that was welcome. He looked to Queenie for her approval.  
She smiled. “I think they look great. Simple, but I’m sure they’d look just dashing on you. Want to try them on?” she asked.  
He nodded, taking a few of the outfits they’d put together, and going to try them on, coming out to show how it fit. It was comfortable, and Queenie clapped her approval, making Credence blush but chuckle a little. He saw himself in the mirror, dressed in the tan one, and though there were so few differences in him and his features, it took him a moment to realize…that WAS him. His features still tended to be tense, but they’d smoothed a bit (as well as filled out just a tad more, due to good feeding). There was a lingering smile on his lips. His hair was so different; it was strange, but in a good way. He just…looked different. And it felt better. HE was getting better, it felt like.  
He made his way back into the room and back into his original clothes once he was done trying those on, and Queenie excitedly took him and his clothes to pay. Credence followed her out once they were done, and she walked him to a corner, where she took the bags he automatically carried, laying her purse on the ground, grinning.  
“I’ll show you a little something…it’s not as fancy as Newt’s ol’ creature case, but it’s useful to have extension charms like this one...”  
He watched, standing to block her as she worked the clothing bag on top of her purse…only to slowly start pushing the bag down inside of it, taking it whole despite the clothing bag being bigger, and then next with the second bag. She smiled up to Credence as he stared and she picked up her purse like it was nothing.  
“Magic’s so fun, isn’t it, huh?” she wiggled her eyebrows.  
He chuckled shortly and nodded. “It’s something else.”  
Soon they were on their way, stopping by a shoe shop, just to get a few pairs to go with the outfits Credence had bought. It was a pretty quick process, he just had to pick ones that would match, and try them on once he’d been measured. Once bought, that bag proceeded to be stowed away as well, and Queenie soon had a skip to her step.  
“Now let’s get you some snazzy stuff, huh?”  
They were then making their way to the Wizard clothing stores, and Credence couldn’t deny, he was excited. He really would love to seek out other Wizarding and Witchcraft stores, see what sort of items they were filled with. He’d read some of Queenie and Tina’s Witches Guide to Keeping a Home books, that spoke of all the nifty tools, purchases, and spells that could make life at home with a family easier, and of course he’d learned things needed for schooling, like things required for classes and schoolwork. Some part of him wondered if he could find items similar to those found in no-maj stores and see how they differed, their differences of items and magic and advances were fascinating to Credence.  
As they arrived, he saw isles with cloaks, some with suits, some with very lax looking evening wear, some pajama’s with magical properties that he was somewhat curious about but Queenie said most of those were usually a waste of money, full of cheap tricks and none of them looked remotely mature (some even malfunction after a while, she heard).  
So he was drawn to the evening wear, the lax looking outfits, and the suits. Why? Because color. Some of it, only a little, was very vibrant. The rest was smooth and subtle, but even so, it was more color than he’d ever worn in his life.  
So he set to choosing, which was a difficult task, seeing as how he didn’t know which colors he liked best or that would look good on him. He had no idea what his colors were, and that’s where Queenie came in to help. She picked out some black suits with blue trim, gold trim; she chose a lot of shirts, though only a few styles, and a few colors, she got a decent few and helped him seek out the rest of an outfit to go with each. One outfit she managed to put together was purple, dark toned, with a light almost pink/lavender shirt. Another was blue, deep and dark shades of it, mostly, with silver and white. Another was a deep, dark green with gold. He loved the colors, and he tried each on, and every time he did, Queenie gave a varied exclamation of “Dashing!”.  
They were looking at shoes, getting only a few more, when she noticed Credence looking to the long-coats. She saw in his thoughts, he’d never owned one, she saw the freezing days he would hand out leaflets, alone, with only a simple, poor suit to keep him warm.  
“…Go pick some.” She encouraged with a smile.  
He looked to her. “Are you sure? We’ve got so much already…”  
She smiled and nodded. “I’m sure.”  
He smiled smally back, and went off to look them over. They didn’t have too much variety, but even so, they all looked very smart. And warm. Most importantly warm. He chose a black one, a dark purple one, and a deep blue one.  
And once the items were purchased, carried out, and then sneakily stowed in Queenie’s bag, they were done. Or so Credence thought. He was thinking about the shops again, Wizarding shops, thinking of whether or not the books they had for journals or sketching differed greatly. Perhaps the material they were made from was more exotic than no-maj ones?  
“…Anything else you’re wanting, Credence?” she asked as they walked arm in arm.  
“Hmm? Oh…n-no, Queenie, I have plenty now, thank you. Very much.” He assured her with a smile.  
She eyed him, showing she didn’t believe him completely. Showing she knew. “…Nothing at all?”  
“…Well, I mean, it’s nothing really important-” he tried to deny.  
“If you really want it, I say it is.” She countered.  
He raised his gaze to her, considering asking for what he was now imagining, as he got the feeling she wanted him to ask outright. “…A sketch book, maybe..? I’ve just…I’ve never had one and I enjoy drawing, and painting… The most I was allowed to do was concepts for the leaflets and banners, and Ma never liked all of it, so, she’d throw them away…”  
Queenie hugged his arm tighter. “Then let’s get you a sketchbook.”  
Before he could say anything, she was dragging him off to the next store. A book store, specifically, and she let him loose instead of taking him straight toward the spot where the journals and sketchbooks were. No, that wide eyed interest deserved some freedom first. There were so many books, as he looked, tugging them out to read their titles before moving on. So many subjects, and topics, and conversations. There was so much, he wanted to learn it all, eventually. He was looking for a while, fascinated especially by the books with the moving pictures, he loved those. But eventually he made his way to the sketchbooks, and though there were many fancy ones, some made from dragon hide, papers made from magical trees, and so on and so forth. But he just settled with a simple black one, with enough pages to keep him occupied. And a few pencils, as well.  
He turned to Queenie, who had been standing aside, grinning as she watched, and he went to show her what he’d chosen. “Are these alright?”  
She nodded. “You want to buy it?” she asked, sifting some dragots out of her purse. He looked nervous, almost just enough to chicken out. But this sketchbook was to be his…and maybe one day he could come back here, and get more books, all kinds of books. So maybe he should get used to it, buying what he wanted with the magical money.  
He nodded, holding out a hand for the coins, which Tina and Queenie had been teaching him about. He took a moment, after receiving the coins, before heading over. He of course stuttered awkwardly, at first, and he couldn’t help but worry the cashier was impatient with him. But he bought his items without much more struggle, took the rest of the coins, thanked the man at the counter, and returned to Queenie, who give a partial hop and hugged his arm again, seeming so proud.

Once back home, they unloaded all his clothes into a spare wardrobe the sisters had. It looked slender, but it was charmed of course, so she managed to stow all his clothes inside. She removed his old ones, separating what Newt had offered for Credence to borrow, from what he’d had from home. She considered the pile with him, and looked him over.  
“…Why don’t you try on one of your new outfits? Take your time, and just bring me what you’re wearing now when you’re done.” She encouraged softly.  
He nodded and did as she said, going off to excitedly choose what he wanted to wear first. He chose one of the more lax uniforms, it was just some pants, a shirt, and a vest; it was a warm brown color, with maroon-like trim, more so in the vest, which he wore unbuttoned. He returned with the old clothes, stowing it in the pile, and looking to Queenie. “…Should we throw them out?” he asked.  
She looked to him. “…What would you like to do? We could throw it out…we could send it somewhere where the less fortunate might make use of it…we could absolutely ruin it… Whatever you think we should do with’em.”  
He considered her words for a moment, trying to find an answer, but he didn’t know what to do, unsure he could even make a decision on this. He wasn’t sure they should be given away, they were rough, uncomfortable, they made him itchy, and they offered so little warmth. But what to do with them? “I-I don’t…I don’t know…”  
And suddenly a memory hit him as if to offer to him. The few drawings, personal drawings, he’d managed to do and hide away from his Ma…she’d found. They were simple drawings, with vibrant colors. Mostly landscapes, or abstracts, sometimes symbols he thought he’d seen somewhere. But she’d told him not to do art like that, she’d forbidden it, and so she took the work he’d spent hours, calming hours, joyful hours, making. Art that had eased his mind or heart, that he would take out and look at sometimes….she took it, and she burned it. And she beat him for crying over it.  
“I want to burn them.” He stated, looking up to Queenie. And the witch barely hesitated to nod in her agreement and support.  
“Then we’ll burn it.”

Newt had offered them a habitat in his case to do it. They set the pile just outside the snowy habitat, setting up a small barrier to keep it from traveling, and shield it from the snow to start with. Newt had to set up a way to work away the smoke, but he was willing to do it, to at least help.  
Once set, Queenie took out her wand, taking aim. She glanced to Credence, who watched intently, waiting, and she cast the spell, “Incindio.” and the pile caught fire, and slowly but surely consumed the clothing in a growing flame. And Credence watched it, watched as the flames danced and the clothes were progressively reduced to ash, sometimes watching the dark and grey smoke as it billow up into a sort of tunnel affect Newt created to send it elsewhere.  
He watched until it was mostly all ash, and Newt and Queenie finally put it out, leaving a pile of black ashy muck that they cleaned up as well. Newt went over to give a careful touch and squeeze to his shoulder, which Credence inclined his head towards. He glanced up to see Newt’s warm smile, and was comforted, feeling some of the residual upset of the memories from those clothes ease. Newt left him be then as Queenie came over, always full of warmth and smiles.  
“Feel just a little better…?” she asked.  
He slowly nodded, and a small smile quirked at the edge of his mouth. “Yes. Thank you, Queenie. For everything.”  
She couldn’t help herself, as she closed the space and gave him a warm, tight hug, humming like she always did when doing so. “Sweetie, you’re more than welcome.”  
He leaned into it, and carefully returned the embrace, eventually clinging a little until she pulled back and he straightened up.  
She got a mischievous look then. “You know what we should do now?”  
“What?”  
“Go get us some sweets…hmm?” she inclined her head, grinning.  
He chuckled. It was a very appealing idea. “I… What about Tina? She said we shouldn’t do that as much anymore, just in case…?”  
“Well, it’s been a while, and I’m getting tired of just sending letters. And Jacob misses you, he wants to show you one of his new treats.” She told him.  
Jacob missed him? He smiled smally at that, a soft warmth in his chest. He liked Jacob. He was a gentle man. And he missed him as well. “…Okay. As long as we won’t get into trouble.”  
Queenie giggled and took his hand. “Only a little~.”  
With that, they Disapparated.


	4. As Once With Tears, Now With Laughter

 

 

 

Chapter 4  
**As Once With Tears, Now With Laughter**

               They arrived in Jacob’s office. With Tina’s insistence on not being seen socializing too clearly with a No-Maj who’s not meant to remember anything, Queenie had apparently taken to Apparating on certain days at certain times she and Jacob had agreed to. But of course, during their few hours together, it had been brought up that there may be a few spontaneous times, as there should be allowed now and again. So, for Jacob visiting Queenie, she just advised he try and send her as loud mental messages as he could manage when he was nearing, so she knew. And with Queenie visiting him, it was easier because, you know, magic. He just promised he’d keep his office locked most the time, so she might pop in without any of his employees doing some popping in of their own.  
So Queenie and Credence waited in seats that were set to the corner, first keeping patient for when Jacob might get a break, but then it must have been very busy, so Queenie did one of her little tricks that usually meant she was there.  Sent a strange little butterfly, purple and pink and unusually shiny. It fluttered off to find the baker, and once spotted, it was fluttering back.  
They heard him just outside the door, talking to one of his employees. “Crazy thing—don’t know how these guys get in here, lemme go let him out; got that lil’ window up there in my office.”  
Queenie stood, just as the door opened, and the butterfly vanished as the two locked eyes. They were like gleeful children, both their days seeming made by the way they relaxed and grinned so widely upon seeing one another. He made sure the door was locked as Queenie then jumped on him with a hug, giggling happily, giving a few pecks to his cheeks.  
“Oh, I missed you, Jacob.”  
He chuckled in amusement, but with the embrace he had her in, it seemed a mutual feeling. “Hey, it’s only been three days. Postal’s going well.” He offered.  
She pulled back, arms still on his shoulders and she pouted. “Owl’s are so much faster, though…”  
“Yeah, and noticeable.” He pointed out.  
Queenie rolled her eyes but smirked, pulling back to show Credence, who stood then.  
“Hey, kid! Oh, good to see you, too, come’ere!” Jacob encouraged with open arms, before asking, “Er, I mean, is that okay?”  
Credence smiled and nodded, carefully hugging the man, who’s hugs were always full and warm. As he pulled back, Jacob gave a firm pat to his shoulder and whistled.  
“Well, don’t you look snazzy.”  
Credence smiled smally. “Queenie helped me.” He stated, the only way he could think to respond to Jacob’s statement.  
“Of course.” He chuckled, looking to Queenie with love practically shining from his eyes. They were just about as sweet as his pastries, honestly. If not more so.  
“We just thought we should come and visit…and…you know…see that new creation ya got?” she encouraged, giving a little hop on her heals, glancing from Jacob to Credence in a way that made the young man suspicious, though not in a bad way.  
Jacob’s eyes widened. “Oooh! Yes! Oh, I’ve got so many flavors, too, it’s gotten so popular—‘specially with those artsy types. Come on, Credence, I wanna show ya!” Jacob waved him eagerly as he unlocked the door to the office and let them out, Queenie letting Credence go first.  
Credence was very curious. Especially seeing as how Jacob treated his pastries with almost the same adoration and passion and excitement as Newt did his creatures, though of course differently, as one was edible creations, and the other was living creatures.  
Explaining away to the employees that he had some visitors and ‘oh, they came in earlier, didn’t you see them?’, Jacob finally brought them out to the front, where his newest pastries were on display.  
Queenie was all smiles, bouncing a little on her heels as Jacob smiled proud and looked to Credence, waiting for his reaction, as the young man looked over it.  
And there he saw…he saw, it was HIS. His…chaotic budding flower creation he’d made with Queenie. It seemed as if there were different kinds, filled with different jams, some with faint and small designs with icing to set them apart. There were so many, and Credence moved out of the way as someone excitedly excused themselves to grab one and go to purchase it. He looked to Jacob and Queenie then, who were wearing hopeful but hesitant smiles, Queenie looking almost guilty.  
He assumed she worried he wouldn’t like that she shared his creation, but he honestly didn’t mind. No, it was just…strange, to see something he created, up on display. A pastry of course, and he didn’t technically create all of these, but the idea for them.  
“They’re one of my most popular right now, people love’em. They can’t even describe why half the time, they just do.” He chuckled.  
Credence just looked them over, and slowly, a smile crept across his lips. Jacob had liked it so much to put it in his store, and now so many others enjoyed it, too? He spotted a mother with her children outside the window, pointing at the ones on display then, asking what it was, saying they wanted one.  
Credence couldn’t find the words, he could only smile, looking at each of them, lined with pastel-like colorful designs. He could see out of the corner of his vision, Queenie hugging Jacob’s arm happily, though.  
“I, uh, got a sort of open suggestion box for it, letting the costumers come up with a name for it, ‘cause I wasn’t sure what to call it. Like I’ve nicknamed all the others.” He remarked, nodding to the name plates for each creation. The niffler-pastry was nicknamed ‘Golden Nifty’, the oocamy-pastry was nicknamed ‘Little Big One’, the demiguise-pastry was nicknamed ‘Sneaky Sweetie’, the erumpet-pastry was nicknamed ‘Lumpy Lovely’, and so on and so forth. But for the life of him, he couldn’t manage a name for Credence’s. He looked to the young man. “…Would you like the honor of naming it?”  
Credence look to Jacob, and initially shook his head. “I…I don’t know that I’d know a proper, fitting name any better than you…” he looked back over it, considering the creation for a moment. What could truly fit it, its shape, its feeling, his own feelings when he created it? Anything along the lines of chaotic sounded too negative, but anything along the lines of hopeful felt too optimistic for Credence. He wanted something that, in his mind and heart, embodied a happy medium for good and bad, and what was sort of meaningful in life.  
He sighed, glancing about as Jacob seemed to be brainstorming himself, answering Queenie when she asked what customers had suggested, and he said that it wasn’t so great—between options like Wild Wonder and Twirler Tulip, they weren’t the best.  
Credence just couldn’t feel or think of anything that seemed fitting. Eyes wondering as he was lost in thought, he spotted a little blond girl walking with her parents outside. She was in no way truly familiar, except for her age and hair, and nothing more. But his chest ached. Modesty… She had been through so much, a lot that he had…and then what Modesty had seen of him…her memories were gone of what he’d done, and he could only hope… He could only hope, after the horrible life with Mary Lou, she could really begin living.  
His throat went tight then, eyes faintly stinging as they fell back to the pastry.  
“Oh..” Queenie muttered softly, and Jacob looked to her, about to ask what, until he saw how she was looking at Credence, realizing she must be seeing something private that he couldn’t. “Credence, I think that’s a good idea.”  
He glanced up. “I haven’t even…made sense of a name relating to her..”  
“Oh, but you will, and I think that’ll be perfect.” She encouraged.  
“Relating to who?” Jacob asked carefully and curiously.  
“..M-Modesty… My sister.” He told him.  
Jacob slowly nodded, gaze sympathetic to Credence, but he didn’t let it linger too long, and began thinking for a moment, about how such a name could work, though it sounded appealing. And then he got it. “Hey, how…how about…Uh, A..Modest Bloom?” he offered.  
Credence considered it, looking to the pastry with a soft gaze. His eyes shone reflectively with light unshed tears, but he smiled smally and nodded slowly. “…I like it.”  
“Really?!” Jacob asked excitedly, smiling.  
He looked to him and nodded, smiling a little bigger. “Yeah. I think that’s perfect.”  
“Great! Now I can get one of my boys on another plaque then. So, you’re okay with the pastry, right? That we’re selling it?” Jacob asked.  
“…Jacob, your work makes people happy.” He remarked. “I’m glad to be a small part of that. It’s okay.” He nodded.  
Jacob nodded with a proud smile.  
“So, hey,” Queenie hugged at Jacob’s arm to kindly guide his attention to her, “what are you doing for lunch, honey?”  
“Ah, I had just a small lunch packed, why?”  
“Why don’t you come and eat with us? We’ve had a busy day of shopping, and we could use some food, we could get some hot dogs!” she encouraged, as, though she didn’t eat them often, Tina had made it sort of an every-now-and-again indulgence, and sometimes while out and about in New York, that was one of the easiest options.  
“But, are we allowed to..?” Jacob asked.  
“Oh, you boys, such sticklers.” She remarked, shaking her head, but she went on to describe how Jacob could go and purchase the hot dogs, and they could always pop back to the apartment to eat before he had to be back to work, to which the boys agreed to being fine with.  
So Jacob informed his employees he was going out for lunch, and would be back soon. With a trip to one of the closest hotdog vendors, a careful trip back of carrying three hot dogs without squishing them, and the very jolting experience of Apparating, they were now settled at the table together, munching away on hotdogs, despite the slumbering magizooligist sleeping on the couch, suitcase tied up as to make sure it stayed shut while he slumbered.  
Jacob teased about what sort of things he could do on Newt’s face with ketchup and mustard, but of all the ideas he thought of, he never actually went to fool with his friend. Queenie of course went to make four cups of cocoa before Jacob could complain about needing to get back. Once they were done eating, Queenie said they should take some time on the roof before he had to get back to work, and he agreed eagerly.  
“Why don’t you wake Newt soon, before his cocoa gets cold.” Queenie encouraged Credence, leaving Newt’s cup with him, and he tried to complain, not wanting to disturb Newt, but she didn’t let him. “At least tell him he’s got a perfectly comfy bed…unless he prefers a couch for some weird reason.” She went to grab her own cup from the table.  
“Hey, Credence,” Jacob addressed, coming over to the young man, who’s attention he now had. “I was thinking, we really don’t hang out enough—for many reasons, important magical law related reasons, and I understand that, but… I don’t know, maybe we could find some No-maj stuff to do together, you know, stuff these guys wouldn’t understand.” He chuckled, nodding in Queenie and Newt’s direction. “Or just…something.”  
Credence smiled softly. Despite being what he was, he _had_ lived a no-maj life, and sometimes the differences and some of the times they lacked understanding of them did leave him feeling like the odd one out. It wasn’t their fault, of course, but still…maybe hanging out with Jacob wasn’t a bad idea. Besides, he liked Jacob. He was a very good man, in his own special way different from Newt, or Tina, and how they were good, or Queenie either. Credence found him to be a man unlike most others, caring and gentle and funny and just…a happy energy to be around.  
“Yeah, if…if it’s not too hard to manage, I would like that.” Credence agreed.  
Jacob grinned widely. “Great! Well, I’ll…I’ll, uh, send you post through Queenie once I figure out my schedule, how about that? And we’ll figure it out from there.”  
Credence nodded. “Okay.”  
Jacob offered his hand as a fair well gesture, and Credence took it awkwardly and shook, before the man and Queenie took to the roof.

Of course, Credence never managed to wake Newt. The man looked far, far too peaceful, and with the dirty, battered yet happy state of him, it seemed a crime to disturb. So he just set Newt’s glass on the floor by him, and grabbed a blanket to drape over him, before retreating to his room, going straight for his new pencils and his sketchbook. His first sketchbook. He was so beyond excited and happy, it felt almost unreal. If he didn’t have any sense, that anxious twirl in his stomach would have him believing it was unreal, or at least unreal that he was allowed this.  
But he ignored it, and set to let the ideas flow, flow like they never had before, because now he had the paper, and he could save every precious imagine he produced, and if anyone caught him, he wouldn’t get in trouble. He willed it as best he could…only for nothing to come. He took his time, even looking around his room. And then, when nothing came to him from such a simple observation, he wandered the apartment. Then went to his books. He even went so far as to considering entering Newt’s case, but he didn’t want to without his permission while he slept.  
But now, now he was…aggravated. Upset was part of it, but there was a strong annoyance he was unused to feeling over something so simple. All he wanted to do, all he CRAVED to do, was to draw…! So why, in his moment of wishing and needing, did NOTHING come to him? So many ideas and visions came, when he knew they’d be ruined, or he’d never see it again, or he had barely half a paper to produce his work upon….but now, so many pages of sizable, blank paper, and his mind was as blank as the white sheets.  
Aggravated, he put the book away where he couldn’t see it and decided that he was in want of a nap, after a busy day he wasn’t used to with his time so cooped up. And thankfully, his dreams were abstract, almost nonexistent, despite being curled up in frustration, without even a blanket as he lay in his suit and socks.

He woke later in the evening, covered in a blanket when he did, and hearing a frustrated sounding Tina. He wondered and worried that she’d found out about all the stuff they’d done that day, and that she was having a talk with Queenie. So he got up, and started making his way towards the room, but hesitated as he was really hearing the conversation.  
“So… So, tell me again…what exactly were you doin’ out today? You took Credence out shopping, AND to Jacob’s in the same day? You know, I’m not the only one that works for the Magical Congress, but sometimes it feels like it.”  
“Here, have cocoa…” Queenie offered.  
Tina sighed. “Is this an apology?”  
“Do I need to apologize, Tina? I told you why I took Credence out…and I told you how I was careful going to see Jacob. I know it ain’t the best situation, but it can’t be helped, me and him…”  
“…No, I guess you don’t need to… It’s just been a hectic day today…”  
“Wanna talk about it? And don’t worry ‘bout waking Newt, he’s already up, he’s just being considerate about not interruptin’. And we also have-”  
Credence, even with her being interrupted, felt a drop in his stomach as he thought she was about to tell Tina he was listening. Maybe he should just enter, or go back about his business, as Newt said sorry he just wasn’t sure when the right moment to get up would have been. And he asked who brought the blanket.  
“Credence or Jacob, I guess.”  
“Would you like to join us, Newt?” Tina offered, sounding amused.  
“Oh, um…sure, th-thank you. I’d love to know how your day ways. N-not to say your crazy day is something I want to hear—not that I don’t want to hear-”  
Queenie saved him by interrupting, “So, what’s been up, Teenie?”  
“I mean, it’s really nothing different than it’s been off and on for the past few weeks, but still… I was off the investigative team for a little while, and now that they’ve put me back on, they’re really seeing my potential and….really not holding back responsibility. Which is good… I do enjoy being able to be a part of keeping the order and peace…it’s just hard when it gets more complicated than just doing that, ya know?”  
“Oh, yeah..” Queenie muttered knowingly. “Like when you just want to help keep people safe, just wanna help them…but there’s so many rules or ways Picquery prefers it be done, right? Like down in the station that day…”  
“Yeah… Eventually, I want to actually…have a chance talking to them about that, I’ve been speaking with Graves about it, when he’s been on the job. They’ve restricted him a bit, because of need for recovery, and just being worried about his time with Grindlewald and how it may have affected him, but… I need to tell them, they were wrong, for attacking Credence like that. For how they handled everything with him. He was calming down that day…he was responding to reason, he was just afraid, and they….they could have killed him… And they believe they did, and none of them care..! Just like they didn’t care that he and those other two kids were being beaten, the semantics of it, they…they thought it should be left to just…the no-maj authorities to find out and deal with… What sort of peace and happiness in the lives of the magical and no-maj communities are we going to keep, if they could do something like that?! To over look the value of someone like that, or to cast aside such a horrible situation because it wasn’t ‘our business’, and it should be up to the no-maj’s to find out… How can we achieve shared peace if they can be so…so self-righteous and self-focused… They could feel they could decide so easily what was right and wrong, who was worth helping and who was not…that they could decide what sort of person was worth their time or not… Who was beyond reason, beyond goodness… It’s almost as bad as those damn Second Salemers, and it just…makes things hard, some days… I don’t even feel like I can talk to Credence anymore, I feel almost….guilty, for being a part of the MACUSA, after what they’ve put him through..?”  
Credence very much considered coming out from his ease-dropping, to tell her otherwise. Sure, it was hard sometimes to be around her lately, because of her responsibilities and what they entailed, but he knew better. She wasn’t them. She was far better than them, she was a good person, absolutely good. He understood the different between where she worked and who she was. Who she was, was the woman who tried to save him from the abuse of his adoptive mother. The woman who attacked Mr. Graves so he could escape. The woman who tried to help him in the station, with so little concern for herself. The woman who took him in, when he had no one and nowhere. She tried so hard…  
He knew better.  
“…Tina..” Queenie spoke then, softly. “I don’t think you gotta worry about him, with that. He knows the difference between them, their work and their purpose…and who you are. I promise you.”  
He heard Tina sigh, and he was thankful for Queenie telling her such, though wondered when she was going to reveal he was ease-dropping, as she surely knew. Maybe she was being respectful of his choice of not coming forth.  
“Well…I hope so. And I hope he can understand just…my reasons for urging you all to exercise more caution. I just can’t let him be caught, I don’t want you or me getting in trouble because they’d have our hides over all of this, as small minded as they are over it, and what if they find a way to completely Obliviate Jacob? I love having him around, he’s a great guy for a no-maj, you know I see him as a friend, too… And I know you probably think I’m just being uptight about all this, but-”  
“Tina, you ain’t gotta explain to me. I know.” Queenie assured her sister softly.  
Newt spoke up then. “Well, at this rate, it seems like I should take you all back to London with me when I go, MACUSA can’t exactly be leering over your shoulder there.”  
The other two laughed at his amusing offer, which from his tone he obviously mostly meant it amusingly, to ease the tension of the discussion. But Credence, personally and briefly, wondered the potential of it, before his mind was back on the subject, considering it all. Surely, they could find a way to coexist together without having to hide so much? He really wanted to see Jacob like they planned, surely they could manage it…?  
A slow growing determination bubbled up in him, as Tina remarked about whether it would be any better in London, or where in England he would offer to take them, and they almost sounded as if they were getting into the pros and cons (tea vs coffee being one of them), but Credence was itching to come forward now and held back, scared to interrupt and disturb them.  
Queenie cleared her throat then to interrupt them herself. “Why don’t you come and ask, Credence?”  
Feeling nervous about being called out and hearing Tina’s questioning tone, he hesitated until she stood and rounded the corner to spot him.  
Ducking his head, he came forward to join them. He didn’t want to look at Tina just yet, worried she might be upset with him ease-dropping. But when she spoke, her tone was soft.  
“Credence, what is it?”  
He glanced up to her, eyes flicking to Queenie who gave an encouraging nod, and then back to Tina, his gaze falling again. “I…I know you’re worried. And I understand why. I understand the risks, all of them… Jacob being found out, and you all being in trouble for associating with him… Them finding out that Newt is still here… Them finding out I’m still alive by spotting me, or…or me running into trouble out on the streets and losing control, I understand.”  
Tina looked as if she almost felt guilty for even thinking of worrying about any of that, she felt as if she were accusing him, which she was not, she knew it was all so complicated and barely under their control, it wasn’t something they could fix.  
“I understand…b-but I…I think it… That it may be okay. I mean, you said you and Queenie got rid of most of those reports…and they know so little about me, like you said, they didn’t care, they don’t suspect I’m alive… And they don’t know Jacob remembers. I…I’ve changed, a little, from that night in the station. M-maybe I look different enough.” He glanced up hopefully as he looked between the sisters, stating, “Queenie got me clothes. M-maybe that could help, something different, a l-look they’re not expecting. That they would search for, that they wouldn’t associate with me…” His slumped shoulders and ducked head were slowly straightening, rising, as he went on. “If I went on my own, maybe that would be better. To visit Jacob. I would just seem like another no-maj, a friend.” He looked to Tina, brows pulling and a hopeful look in his eyes. “I just…I know I need to be careful, I know I’m a problem,” he ducked his head again, and though he heard each of them begin to attempt to say something to argue that fact, he didn’t let them continue, “but…it doesn’t feel right staying here, like this, all the time. I think…I think maybe I need to be…out, now and again. I’m not trying to disrespect you or your wishes, Tina..” he looked to her, his last statement shaking with his worry that it sounded as if he was.  
“You’re not, Credence. It’s just… I know, it could be fine, and it could be safe, but I can’t help but worry what may happen down the line…” Tina stated.  
Credence dropped his gaze.  
“…Credence, this has risks, and I know you know them, so I won’t list them again.”  
He nodded slowly, shutting his eyes. He should know better, things were just…going to be difficult for a while in his life, with what he was and what he’s like…if that ever changed.  
“But…”  
His eyes opened, his gaze still on the floor, but he almost inclined his head upward, waiting for her to continue.  
“…I also know that I trust you, and Jacob…and above all else, Credence, despite…what we’re trying to do for you, despite us trying to help and take care of you…. We have no absolute control, you are an adult, and in being such…you have a choice in the matter. You have a choice in just about everything in your life. We’re not here to control how you live. We’re just here to…to care.”  
He felt his lip quiver as his eyes stung, bubbling emotions in his chest. Her words felt so absolutely foreign, what she meant by them…that it was his choice, he could do what he chose to, and she trusted him to do so… He wasn’t sure why, but it hurt somewhere deep in his chest, though he felt like it shouldn’t hurt. But she trusted him, to make his own choices, to be the one in control of himself, and no one had ever trusted him to do that before. Everyone else had tried to control him.  
The responsibility of that fact was almost too hard to bear. Of course, he wanted to achieve such responsibility, he’d always yearned for such, to be able to make choices in his life and live as he wanted, and do as he felt was right. But even wanting that, he’d forever depended on the knowledge and the experience and the authority of others. First because he had to, and eventually because it was an impossible habit to break. Their opinions, even when he may have felt some were wrong, they had still always been his guiding truth, a ruling weight on his shoulders; they had always been an absolute.  
So he found himself looking at Tina once again finally, she watched him with that ever caring gaze. Swallowing, he carefully spoke, “But you…do you think…it’s a bad idea…? Do you think…” he struggled to find the words, a whimper trying to escape his throat that he forced down, feeling shameful, feeling childish.  
“I…think it’s a good idea, Credence. Something that maybe you need. And like I said. I trust you.” She reassured him, stepping forward to lay a careful touch to his arm, giving it a comforting rub.  
He barely glanced up at her once or twice, sniffing and nodding, before leaning into her for a hug, which she automatically gave. And she held him until he stopped shaking.  
“Just you two be careful, okay…?”  
“We will, I promise.”

And so Credence arrived two days later at Kowalski’s, with the premise of delivering a letter, and there he stayed for the evening. He mostly watched Jacob work, and talked with him when they had a moment without too many employees lingering too close. Near the end of his last shift, though, Jacob encouraged Credence to make another one of his Modest Blooms. Credence was nervous at the thought of creating one for Jacob’s customers, so Jacob just said they could split it and eat it after work. Credence seemed a bit more okay with that, and set to work.  
Jacob watched the focus and interest Credence had. Heck, if the kid ever thought of making no-maj money, he wouldn’t mind him working there with him. Sure, maybe he didn’t have the passion for the sweets and pastries and cooking like Jacob did, but he had the joy of creating sparkling somewhere in the corner of his eye, and that was enough for Jacob. And he had a peaceful sort of focus that came over him, and sometimes that was something beneficial.  
Once they were done, they took to the streets of New York, walking the sidewalks with their chaotically attractive pastries in hand, no idea of where they were even currently going, though Jacob was encouraging a debate over the decision, to which Credence seemed inclined to say, to every offer, that he didn’t mind. As he honestly didn’t, he was just enjoying this simple time with Jacob. It didn’t have to be made super special. Once Credence made that clear, Jacob decided they could go somewhere simple, and maybe he could show Credence his place after, as he was fixing it up better than before.  
They ended up heading to this nice, open spot with a bench where you could overlook the water at a distance. There, they ate their pastries and were content, not wasting valuable eating time talking, and enjoying what Credence had made. Once they were done, of course, Jacob slapped his hands on his lap. “Ready to head back?” he asked.  
Credence brushed of his hands insistently before nodding to Jacob. “I’m sure it’s looking great…even if I have nothing to compare it to. Sorry I never got to visit before…”  
Jacob waved a dismissive hand. “Nah, don’t worry, its fine. We’ve all had our things we needed to do.”  
Things they needed to do…it made Credence wonder, briefly, what exactly it was he was supposed to be doing, now. But he dismissed it as Jacob stood and started leading the way back.  
On the way, at least as they walked alone with little to no others crossing their path, they of course talked of magic. Credence asked if Jacob had ever been exposed before, and what more he’s learned since he got his memories completely back.  
“Ah…if I was ever exposed before, I may not remember it…or may not have noticed it. Newt and Tina and Queenie were my first experience.” Jacob admitted, and Credence nodded, before he went on. “As for learning more, you know, I can only learn from Queenie when she’s around or she sends one of those….cool magic talking letters, though if they say anything about magic, they usually tear themselves up afterwards. Precaution. Newt sends some, too, usually asking about me, and updating me on his creatures. He likes to keep me informed about my occamy.” He smiled.  
Credence nodded in understanding.  
“But, I’ve learned about some of their jobs. The types of people. Good, bad, ugly, cooky, wild, just all sorts. She’s tried to teach me about the money, but I can’t get a handle on it.” He laughed.  
Credence smiled faintly. “It was a bit confusing, going from normal American money to them teaching me American Wizarding money.”  
Jacob nodded, glancing to the taller but younger man. “You? I’m guessing your first bit of exposure was…you know, just what…that lady taught ya?” he asked carefully, not even saying her name or referring to her with a motherly term, looking worried about even bringing it up.  
Credence wasn’t too deeply distressed by it though. “I think so…I…I can’t remember. Ma….she said, that day…right before she…” he swallowed. “She said my real ma was wicked, and unnatural… I-I felt like she knew. She knew what my real ma was. I can’t remember much about them, Ma took me in so young…I think she tried to make me forget, too.”  
Jacob nodded slowly, brows furrowed with annoyance over the woman.  
Credence had seen a variety of that look on all of his friends faces, and it couldn’t be helped that he was strangely touched by it. They all seemed…so defensive, like if Ma stood before him then and there, and tried to belittle and beat him, none of them would hesitate to put a stop to it, in whatever way necessary. He never wanted them in bad situations, but he couldn’t help imagining such scenarios. Sometimes it even came up in his dreams.  
His good dreams. When they came, which was usually amongst a good week mentally for him, he would dream of them. Sometimes one or two at a time, sometimes all of them. But they were so calming. He saw them, gentle and calming towards him, just speaking or laughing together, or remembering the sense of what they may have done that day. He dreamt about his friends and their care, and it brought him peace.  
“I’m sorry, Credence. About what you got put through.” Jacob said suddenly, and Credence just shook his head, as there wasn’t anything he could say back to anyone expressing such sympathy or pity.

Back amongst the people, they kept their talk normal. Speaking of Jacob’s bakery, or Credence’s learning without specifics of the content he was learning about (lest there be any lingering ears), just how he was doing. He was doing well, but it wasn’t really a consistent teaching method from any of them, so it wasn’t the best learning experience to keep up with.  
Credence, lost in his thoughts when not speaking to Jacob, completely missed the stares or the giggling of some girls passing by, though Jacob didn’t. He was very tempted to point it out to Credence; why shouldn’t the kid get to enjoy the fact that he’s a nice sight to look at to some people?  
Credence seemed a little too lost in thought, and Jacob sort of wondered if maybe things like that didn’t really matter to him right now. Things like that might be too much for the guy.

Once they arrived at Jacob’s place, though, he led Credence up, pointing out some of the same old details of the office, and the hallways, like the chipping paint and some people’s bags or a sock or two left about. Credence had been in enough homes, homes full of poor families, where order and cleanliness was just not a priority, because there were more important things. This almost reminded him of that, making him wonder briefly if the orphans had found somewhere else to go, with the church now destroyed.  
But as they arrived at Jacob’s apartment and he ushered Credence in, the young man could see how much better his own place was compared to the rest of the building. Just upon entering, it was cleaner, there seemed to be a new paint job, and nice furniture he assumed was somewhat new. Credence was so used to Queenie and Tina’s that he walked around with soft fascination at this other home. It was smaller, of course, as it only housed one person, but it was nice. A handsome, comfy little place, with calm blue walls with golden brown wallpaper over the lower parts of the painted blue walls. The furniture was simple but useful, and he had his messy spots, like his kitchen, and his small study crammed in the corner of his bedroom, but it didn’t matter. It was nice.  
Credence smiled smally to Jacob. “It’s very nice. I like it.”  
Jacob beamed. “Really?! Queenie hasn’t seen my finished effort…kinda glad she’s not here now, I need to straighten a bit… Of course it’ll be nice to eventually get a bigger, better place, but I’m pacing myself with the business and making do with what I got right now and I think I’m doing good.”  
Credence nodded in agreement. “You are.” He looked about, almost thinking of it himself. Having his own place. The thought gave a spark of excitement in his heart that had long been stifled by his mother and her control and restriction, and instilment of doubt. But it also caused a tremble of fear. Living, entirely on his own, having to make his living and keep up with everything; bills, food, clothes, and any extra needs or emergencies….it was something so simple, he thought, to other people. A part of growing up, but he had so little experience, and though solitude was sometimes a need for him, he also feared an absolute state of such solitude. He didn’t want to be alone…  
“Hey…” Jacob tore Credence from his thoughts then, looking to see his warm, worried features. “…You okay?”  
Credence hesitated, almost nodding as a lie, but hesitating. Instead of answering, he asked, “…When did you get out on your own…?”  
Jacob was surprised by the question. “Ah…late teens, I think. Had a little time on my own before I got into the army. Why?”  
Credence just shrugged, lowering his gaze. They’d all done so much, each of them, with their lives thus far, and Credence had a bubbling fear right now that he’d never manage to do as much, he’d just be dragging behind, a child they had to look after. “It’s nothing.”  
Jacob came forth, putting a careful hand on his shoulder. “Come on… You can tell me.” He guided Credence to his small dining table, pulling out two cups and offering Credence a drink, from coffee to milk to water. Credence opted for milk to wash down the lingering taste that coated his throat of the pastry, while Jacob opted for coffee.  
Credence took his time, gulping down some of the milk before he answered. “…I just…sometimes I get worried. I think about all the things…I should know but don’t, that I should be able to do, as a wizard or just a normal human being, I…” he ducked his head, shaking it. “…I haven’t done enough. I’ve done nothing with my life so far when this is usually when people…are supposed to be starting their lives. I’ve been nothing, I don’t know how to do anything-”  
“Hey.” Jacob interrupted firmly, before speaking softer. “Hey, don’t go there… Credence, I’ve been there, and it’s not a great place. That self-doubt, the feelings…failing because you don’t fit other people’s ideals, the world’s ideals... Or your own, grandiose ones. It’s not fun, so don’t do that to yourself.”  
“Why not?” Credence looked up at him then. “What…good am I to anyone right now?” he stated, and once the words were out of his mouth, his shoulders pulled together, hanging heavy as he wrung his hands. “I’m just someone people have to take care of….be careful of…worry about. All I feel like I am to anyone is a child. I was a problem and a tool to look after with Ma, I was a wounded child and an asset, and a weapon to Gra-…Grindlewald, and now I’m just this….fragile thing…”  
“Well, you’re actually not. Just because you’re the youngest doesn’t make you a child amongst us. Nor does all these things you’re worried about not knowing or experiencing.” Jacob tried to reason, trying to figure how best to reassure him. “With the situation you came from-”  
“What does the situation matter anymore?!” he suddenly snapped. He shook faintly, trying to calm down, and as he sniffed and shook his head, Jacob knew he was trying to get a reign on it. “It…it’s never going to go away, what happened to me, so does that mean I’ll…I’ll always be this?”  
“What’s wrong with this, huh?” Jacob asked. “Credence, there ain’t nothing wrong with you.” When the young man gave him a heavy look, Jacob just sighed and shook his head. “Not in my book, at least. Not in the grand scheme of it. As for what good you are to anyone? Credence, you’re….you’re not just some kid they’re taking care of, or that we worry about. You’re our friend… You gotta know that…”  
Credence looked up with him with shining eyes. The look on his face showed he wanted to believe, and perhaps part of him did, but he still struggled.  
“Credence, I know you’re…probably tired of hearing your past being brought up. I’m sorry to do it again. I mean…I hated people bringing up the financial background I had, as reason I would never make it. Or my size, being as it is…been this way for years, people thought I wouldn’t be useful in the army. But I proved them wrong. Your life before doesn’t define you, kid. It’s what happens from here. What you do, what you learn, what you choose.” He stated. “Your life with your adoptive mother, it…it was really confining and controlling, and really not the best upbringing for preparing you for the world outside your four walls you were so used to. And then…all you know of magic is…is the judgmental and uninformed side that she taught you, and what little that wizard guy told you.”  
Credence ducked his head further and sniffled.  
“It’s gonna take time. But that’s where we, your friends, come in. We’re here to help you. Just like we help each other. I helped Newt with his creatures, Tina helped Newt find one of them, Queenie helped save us from MACUSA headquarters….from there, we’ve just…we’ve been there for each other, and we’ve helped. That’s what we do. You’ve got time to learn and become whatever it is you gotta become…and I think you’ll be alright.” Jacob told him, hands falling to his cup of coffee, but gaze on Credence.  
Credence looked up to him, a tear or two leaving a track and a drop on his face. “…What makes you think that…?”  
“Because…I’m good with people.” He grinned, as if he both believed that and didn’t; it was more as if he believed he understood most to an extent, but not perfectly. “And I just see that you’re good people, Credence. You are good.”  
He saw the emotion fill his face, tears brimming again and one falling.  
“…You are good. It may not always feel like it….but you are.”  
Credence couldn’t look at him, but he just nodded and took another sip of his milk as silence fell over them, the only sound the sound of their sipping and their glasses being set down.  
“…Thank you for the milk…”

The next days they found time to spend together, were a little bit more fun than their day at Jacob’s bakery. They had his time off work on Friday, and then there was Saturday. And it may not have been as enjoyable and different, had it not been for Queenie dropping hints about where they could visit and see that they could have some ‘special’ fun at and wouldn’t get caught or sold out easily (‘special’ being magical, and the places being somewhere between respectable and underground, just abnormal enough for the big MACUSA people to be unlikely to wander through, but not so low down that they’d be doing any investigating or undercover work).  
Credence was a bit nervous, whereas Jacob was ecstatic, and Credence tried to latch on to that of course. They were given just a little bit of money by Queenie and Tina, which Tina said spend very wisely on something worth their time. They both agreed they’d have to put a lot of thought into that, and be sure they mutually agreed.

The first day, they decided that a visit to a magical market was the way to go. Queenie, upon listing out their safe enough options, mentioned that there was the small section that wasn’t frequented by anyone so important as to know either of them, or even frequented by any sorts of wizards or witches that would blink too much at a no-maj. Sure, there were rules, but sometimes they were still broken under MACUSA’s nose, and so long as it wasn’t a no-maj wandering on their own, they would usually mind their own business. Tina was the one to give them _that_ information.  
Jacob led most of the way, having traveled a bit more of New York than Credence had, but Credence was very helpful once they were starting to get a little lost. They had been nearly there, but Jacob was just confused on what turn to take, and they realized it was supposed to be confusing to no-maj’s. Credence figured it out (it was a trick turn, made to seem like a wall, except for the slither of white magic in some of the bricks, and the closer you stepped, the clearer it got that the walls were set differently than they were illusioned to seem. The two of them shared looks and smiles of awe, both very much impressed by the simple trick), and once they arrived, they were observing each store. They observed from the windows, sometimes splitting up, but mostly keeping together.  
First, they were drawn into the bookstore. Credence, to the volumes upon volumes of books that he very much hoped to read one day. He wanted to read it all, if only he had the money to spare. But he’d never had money to spend on a whim, and he wasn’t going to ask. But maybe. One day. Instead, he just day dreamed over the adventure books of chasing werewolves and battling dark wizards, so many, full of fiction and truth, but all of it seemed so wonderful to him, no matter what it was.  
Whereas Jacob tried to find any and every book with imagery in it, not even caring for what it was about. No, he just flipped to the photos or illustrations, and chuckled with admiration and amusement when they would move. “Never getting over that.” He would mutter as he returned the book to its proper place.  
When Jacob spotted a pajama suit on display with glowing sleeves, the Sleep-Walking Wizard Wear, he couldn’t resist going inside to at least observe that. Credence shook his head, chuckling as Jacob told him more than one story of times he’d gotten up at night to fix a glass of water, use the bathroom, check on a weird noise, and he wound up knocking something, if not breaking it, on his way. Once again he muttered about wishing he was a wizard, but despite the injustice, he still smiled as they left the store.  
They had yet to find anything worth spending their money on, but Credence did spot an Apothecary and asked Jacob if he wouldn’t mind Credence looking inside. The young man even went so far as to explain his curiosity, but Jacob just laughed and reassured him that he didn’t mind at all.  
Credence and Jacob then wandered the store, being eyed by the store manager a lot but never addressed, as they were looking and gawking at everything inside. Strange plants neither had ever heard of, both of them wondering what the uses of each could be. Jacob could assume from the looks and smells of some, but he of course would never try to test any of it. And then there were the scales, toenails, and hairs of various creatures, magical and non-magical, if not limbs and digits. Those unnerved Credence a bit, though he understood they could be useful. It was just hard to think about, what with how fond Newt had made him of so very many creatures.  
Despite the unsettling nature of a lot of the contents contained in the store, Jacob and Credence were still fascinated.  
But once they saw the jars of flobberworm mucus, they decided they were finished.  
The last store they found themselves in, and the one in which they nearly spent their dragots, was Billy’s Bundle of Gadgets; a store who’s actual advertisement spoke of being beyond definition. It was full of tools and devices of all sorts, shapes and sizes, for various uses. Some were practically toys that the boy’s assumed may have actually been for young wizarding children. But then there was magic tape measures, enchanted tools that worked all on their own so long as you told them the job that needed doing, though as Jacob looked over that, he saw there was a letter of forewarning that there was a time limit on how long they would work, that they needed time to rest and you may have to use it manually, and also beware of moody tools, as they may decide to work on you instead of the project.  
Credence, however, was drawn to an enchanted set of paints and brushes. A few, he would never buy; made for pranks or cheats, to falsify artistic work because the paintbrush did the work itself.  
No, Credence was drawn to the paints labeled for abstract magic and as he read the label, he found they were used just like regular paint, but they always fell in tune with the wizard or witches mood and muse of the painting and upon finishing, the work might shift and react, shine, swirl, all according to the intention of the painting. Oh, Credence wanted it. He wanted to try it. And for only a second, when Jacob asked what he was looking at it, he very much considered convincing Jacob to let him use the money. But even still, he decided not to. He wasn’t sure why…he just couldn’t get the courage to ask, and simply told Jacob it was just some painting supplies, nothing special.

They left the stores with very few more glances from passing wizards and witches, talking about the tools and contraptions they’d seen. They spoke of the books they’d spotted, and ones they might read. Jacob himself thought they should have more fiction involving no-majs, saying it might be a fun twist. Credence went on to assure Jacob, were anyone to ever write a story portraying someone of his character, he would gladly read it.  
Heading home, Jacob tried to insist on walking Credence back to the girls’ apartment, but Credence assured him he would be fine, reminding him that it was still a bad idea for him to wander over there too obviously.  
So they said their good byes at Jacob’s, and promised another outing tomorrow.  
And Credence would not admit to how nervous and tense he was inside, walking back home alone. Every man and woman in a heavy coat, every person who’s eyes lingered too long left him feeling as if he were being watched and suspected…that he was recognized. Anxiety prickled and up and down his spine, latching in the pit of his stomach, but he just kept his head down most of the way, glad that his longer hair blocked most of his peripheral vision, therefor he couldn’t see passerby’s who might be staring.  
What he hadn’t expected, of course, was at the lamp post turning the corner just down the road from the apartment, he would pass by a familiar energy. He sensed her before she took his clenched hand. As it relaxed, he looked up to Tina to see her reassuring and comforting gaze, and all the stares before washed away.  
“Did you and Jacob have a good day?” she asked.  
He nodded, smiling faintly. “It was nice. We went to the market place, looked in the stores. We may not have known enough about all the uses for some of the tools…or who the writers of some of the books in the book store were, but… We enjoyed ourselves.”  
She smiled at that. “Good. Are you two having another evening out soon?”  
He nodded. “Tomorrow. Jacob talked about wanting to see more performances like the one he saw…on some sort of mission you guys were on?” he raised a brow, and Tina rolled her eyes but laughed.  
“There’s not many places that aren’t high profile, but I assume Queenie’s already told him of some if he’s thinking about finding a place with witch/wizard performers, probably a bar…” her tone suggested she didn’t entirely like the idea, but she didn’t voice that fact.  
Credence just nodded to confirm, though. Then he looked to her. “…How long were you waiting, Tina…?”  
Looking caught for a moment, she did her awkwardly delay and then shrugged. “Not-not long.”  
Credence gave her a disbelieving look.  
“What? Only…only long enough for a hot dog. Or two.” She told him, hurrying to excuse before he could complain or feel bad. “I just came out to see if you were on your way, you know, and I was a bit hungry, so I got one. You know how I am, I have a weakness for hot dogs….so I got another. Just finished it a few minutes ago, I was about to head in, promise.”  
He almost smirked. He glanced to her one more time. “…I believe you. You have ketchup on the corner of your mouth.”  
She blushed and quickly wiped it as she let go of his hand (they were in sight of the apartments front window, so she couldn’t exactly be obvious in leading a male to it, just in case of their land lord).

Credence went to bed that night after a warm cup of cocoa, and a bit of reading of Newt’s delayed draft of his book (he asked the others to read now and again (seeing as how he couldn’t exactly send it just yet, he had to take it to be looked over for publishing in person), hoping he was being informative enough, while catching attention with his wit and knowledge). He was warm, and he was pleased, and he dreamt of his friends, and the various colors of paint.

And then Saturday morning came, and after helping with chores around the apartment, and even helping Tina sort some of her paper work, Queenie with some sewing she was doing (her body mannequin had gotten enchanted to do some simple twirls and stretches when Queenie needed it, so she could test her stitching without putting the dresses and gowns on, but the mannequin when wild, and after destroying it, she had nothing to practice with, as Tina was out shopping and would have to go in to work late, and upon being complimented on having a nice enough figure (more so just because he was considerate and helpful and in a happy mood), Credence agreed to be her stand-in while she finished up), and babysitting a sleeping niffler, Credence left to go meet Jacob.  
Apparently both confused on what they previously agreed, they bumped into each other on the way to one another’s homes, and went along their evening from there. And all the way, looking for the bar Queenie had spoken of, Jacob was talking Credence up for what they might buy. He said he’d tried it, and it had tasted very strange and good and it made you happy. It made you laugh, literally, and he hadn’t had any since his, the girls, and Newt’s little ‘mission’. He said they could have fun with it, either drinking it, or even sneaking some on the others. It was called giggle water, and Credence was certainly interested.  
“But…we won’t really be able to prank _everyone_.” Credence had pointed out as they walked the sidewalk together.  
“Why not—oh. Yeah. Of course.” Jacob laughed and shook his head, he’d been so caught up just the idea of catching any of them off guard with it, that he’d realized Queenie couldn’t really be surprised. “Ah, it don’t matter, I can make her laugh all on my own.” He remarked proudly, yet his smile showed he was laughing at himself just as much as Credence actually did out loud.  
“I’m sure you can. You don’t think she’ll tell on us if we do that, will she?”  
“There’s no if, we’re doing it. And no, I think she’d be just as on board with at least surprising Tina as us. It’ll be hilarious.”  
It was so silly, almost childish, and Credence didn’t even care. It was fun, it was simple, and where was the harm? It was only laughter, amongst friends. It sounded like something they could all probably use.

Entering the bar wasn’t as complicated, though there were a few more eyes here. One pair was that of a house elf running the bar, who seemed to recognize Jacob immediately, either having more than one bar tending job, or having had to find another since Jacob last saw him.  
“Ay, there, ol’boy! How’s that uncle of yours?” he remarked cockily, laughing at his own humor as Jacob just laughed nervously, remembering his awkward statements that night when they went to see Gnarlak.  
“Hey, uh…you…you got any of that giggle water for sale by any chance?” Jacob asked as Credence just found a table near by the bar, with a good view of the stage that was being set up currently.  
The house elf rolled his eyes, muttering about if he does, of course he does, and so on, before coming back with it and giving Jacob the cost, which was nearly the amount of dragots they had.  
Credence brought the money over and paid him, and decided to use the rest to get them just two shots of what they’d just purchased, because they might as well use that small amount of money left.  
As they took their seats once again, the looked about at the others, most just witches, a few wizards, and an elf or two. There was a suspect looking man in a very dark corner, too, drinking some dark liquid that made Jacob very nervous, Credence as well, and the two completely avoiding looking towards that corner for the rest of the night. At least at the same time (sometimes they’d urge the other to check if he was still there).  
Jacob saw the group finally taking the stage, a woman and a man with a small band. And so, with his excitement, he downed his shot and gave out a sudden yelp of laughter, as if in celebration, leaving Credence staring at him in surprise and amusement.  
“That’s what that does to you?” he asked.  
Jacob laughed normally and nodded. “Yeah. Now imagine Tina doing something like that, without realizing its gonna happen! Or Newt!”  
Credence smiled, giving a soft laugh and shaking his head. He looked down at his own, a little hesitant, simply because he wasn’t entirely sure what noise would come out of him if he took a drink.  
“Just sip it, you ain’t gotta down it like me.”  
Credence nodded, and took a careful sip, and immediately a noise like a weird squeak of a giggle came out of his mouth. It tore out, like a child-like laugh, and his grin faded faintly as he blushed, covering his mouth. Jacob laughed but patted him on the arm.  
“Come on, you gotta admit, it’s fun! It feels nice to laugh, don’t it?”  
Credence couldn’t answer right away, because that noise was absolutely ridiculous, and he felt devastated at having made it. But he lowered his hand, and felt a sort of bubbly warmth in his chest before it faded, and a small smile came back to his lips. “…I guess it kind of does…”  
“Kind of is good enough for me!” Jacob cheered as the music was beginning a bit. But he glanced to Credence, giving him a reassuring look. “Hey, you ain’t gotta finish it if you don’t wanna.”  
Credence hesitated with it in his hand, considering drinking it, then considering handing it back. Jacob was already extending his hand, but at the last second, Credence downed the drink, and a longer giggle like the previous one erupted from him and he covered his mouth and ducked his head, but his shoulders shook, and he was laughing even after the effects of the drinking, grinning so big.  
Jacob laughed with him, just the sight of the kid laughing and smiling like that was honestly just as uplifting as the drink itself.  
“Yeah, there you go!” he laughed, giving him a pat to the shoulder as they were shushed for the performance.

Which, as the first and then the second act went up, was absolutely perfect. The music was jazz, soothing, sometimes with a nice toe-tapping beat to it. Jacob asked Credence if he danced much, and Credence could only tell him no, he’d never learned. Jacob of course made a joke saying, he’d try and show him, but he didn’t think the partnering would be good enough for his first attempt at dancing. And besides, Jacob wasn’t the best dancer either.  
As the music played, they talked under the singing and the instruments, back and forth about the content of the music; songs about mermaids, about the double life of an Animagus, about the gift of a witch, and so on. Jacob even went on to describe how even this music seemed to have…more to it than normal, no-maj stuff. He described how he felt it in his chest, in his arms and legs almost. It seemed to reach him, and before he could talk himself out of it, saying it was him imagining it, Credence agreed. There was just something more, something deeper. As it just seemed to be, when it came to magic. The magical world just seem to hold….more.

The evening came to an end when the music was done and the two of them wandered the streets, considering a few more sips of giggle water. It was only when they both took a drink from the bottle and gave loud giggles that caused people to stare that they finally decided Jacob would take it back to his place and keep it there until next he could visit the girls apartment for the prank.  
They said good byes once more, Jacob informing Credence of his regretful need to check on inventory tomorrow and then his need to go out and pay his bills. Credence told him it was fine, as Tina had been dropping hints that she wanted to try and give him a few more lessons on things from MACUSA and spells, though she’d had enough sense to mostly be teaching him about spells.  
So he spent the rest of his day helping at home, and the next day, learning the pronunciations, and practicing wand movements with one of their knitting needles. Credence actually quite enjoyed it, wondering what it would actually feel like, to cast the spells. How well he could do it. He had to wonder, though, with his Obscurus, how well his magic would function. What he understood from Newt and Tina was that the Obscurus WAS somehow his magic, or a form of it, twisted and distorted. It made him wonder if he would actually be able to ever do magic. But Tina had no answers, and Newt had only theories, none of which he felt confident enough to tell anyone so he simply settled with ‘I don’t know’. When he seemed so caught up on the subject, Tina and Newt asked how his day was, Queenie eventually joining in as well, to get his mind off of it.

His dreams those nights weren’t as filled with the faces of his friends, or those shifting colors. But there were laughs, and there was warmth.

When they got together again, it was during the week.  
Jacob was busy overseeing more than he was doing any of the preparation work, as it was one of his days off during the week, but he was checking in on some of the new employees. And as they happened to get some supplies in that day, he and Credence were taking that to the back. It was a nice work out, Jacob had said, and Credence agreed. Something he realized he didn’t do enough.  
They took crates to the back, stacked them properly, behind the older crates, before heading back out. Upon grabbing the last ones, Jacob said he could get the last two and told Credence to wait for him. And Credence did, informing the driver that Jacob would return with the pay.  
As he waited, gaze wandering about, Credence saw a young woman, nicely dressed, wandering the sidewalk then, making her way in his direction. She was handing out leaflets to passerby’s. He barely tried to make sense of what she was saying to the other people at the moment; he was just watching the papers in her hands, almost hating the sight of them. He was so thankful, suddenly, that those weren’t in his hands. That he didn’t have that responsibility anymore. So many papers he tried to throw away. But if Ma didn’t catch him or find them, Chastity would.  
He tried to avoid her gaze as she was passing him, but she was determined, more assertive than he’d ever been.  
“He’s on the rise, young man. Get behind the new hope, Senator Shaw.” She urged him with a sure tone, and confidence. He looked up at her and then at the leaflets though, despite himself. Shaw…  
He took it, reading over it, ignoring the rest of what she had to say as he realized she was speaking of the younger Shaw. The man who had tried to get a meeting for Ma. He was running for Senator now, for President, like his brother…?  
On the pamphlet of course, were his promises, of what he’d do for New York, for its citizens. Cleaning up the streets, the do-good his brother had promised as well, following in his lead. Except with an additional promise to seek out the evil in the darkness, to seek the truth. Just that statement, Credence felt that it was somehow related to his knowledge of the reality of magic. From what Credence knew, no no-majs knew the truth to the older Shaw’s death, no one but the wizarding community remembered. But, from how adamant the younger Shaw had been, how much faith he’d had in his Ma’s beliefs, he almost feared he somehow suspected something magical being behind the death, obviously having held enough belief or theories from before he tried to set up the meeting.  
It wasn’t as if he could do anything, he still wouldn’t know specifics. But knowing that couldn’t change the anxiety, and the regret, and the guilt expanding in Credence’s chest.  
That man…had called him a freak, and Credence had killed him. The leaflet crumbled in his shaking, gripping hands. It had been his Obscurus who committed the act, but was it not still him?  
By the time Jacob came back to pay the man, he was sniffling. Jacob quickly paid the driver, who left as he went to check on Credence.  
“Hey, buddy…what’s wrong?” he asked, putting a hand on Credence’s shoulder.  
Credence flinched away from it, starting to shake. His throat ached as he told himself, over and over, ‘calm down, don’t lose it, calm down, stop this, calm down’. But it was so hard.  
“Credence, what…” Jacob finally spotted the leaflet. Eyes widening, he looked between him and the paper, wondering what to do, what to say. He wasn’t as good as the others, he wasn’t a wizard, he couldn’t understand. He was just a big goof, who happened to be good at baking, and sometimes making friends, he wasn’t sure he was good to handle this. But he was going to try. He stepped in front of him. “Hey…Hey, Credence…listen… It’s…it’s alright.”  
Credence just crumbled the paper up, shaking his head to and fro.  
“No…no, it’s not..” he muttered, before storming towards the nearest trashcan, tossing the paper away, and then bolting, walking quickly with a shaky path, nearly bumping into people, and Jacob was quick to follow after him.  
Credence, as awkward as his speed walking, almost running was (he wasn’t used to much exercise beyond walking, running on occasion, or what heavy lifting or moving he might’ve had to do in the church), didn’t get too far from Jacob for long. He was deciding where to cross, when Jacob finally caught up to him, wheezing for a moment, before standing straight.  
“How about…we talk about this…huh? Go back to the apartment, get a glass of milk or coffee or—”  
“No.” Credence cut him off, voice shaking.  
“…Look, I know you got a million bad things, bad memories running through your head over Shaw, but we can at least—”  
Credence started walking again, crossing the street and Jacob hurried after, storming at his side.  
“Look, you gotta tell me what’s going through your mind, I’m…I’m not like the others, but I do want to help, Credence, you’re my friend!”  
“No!” he turned on Jacob then, eyes shining. He had a shaky intake of breath, then spoke through tight, quivering lips. “I’m a monster…”  
Jacob looked shocked at the statement, and was firing up every possible example of why that was an entirely false and incorrect statement, but Credence ran, and this time, faster than before. He wanted to get away, he seemed to almost need to, and though Jacob tried to follow, he knew he couldn’t keep up.  
Not by himself.  
So he turned tail and booked it back to Queenie and Tina’s, hoping Queenie was home, or else he worried he wouldn’t even be able to get to them, unless he tried to go through the landlord, telling her he was asking about an order from the bakery.  
His thoughts were screaming about Credence, just saying that there was something that happened, something involving Shaw, Credence is very upset and he lost him, he’s not sure where to look or what to do, but he’s worried.  
He was pacing outside their apartment, huffing, very much considering busting inside at this point to at least find Newt.  
But the moment he made a step towards the apartment, Tina and Queenie came busting out, Tina carrying Newt’s case. Which Jacob could only assume held Newt.  
“What happened?!” Tina asked.  
“I’m sorry, he… He was just helping me, I was taking some crates in, told him to stay with the driver, I…I don’t know, someone was handing leaflets of that Shaw guy, the younger brother, I…I think it set Credence off, because of the—” he explained, but didn’t need to go further as Tina sighed and went into her distressed mode that Jacob very nearly labeled momma-mode. She was so protective and caring of that kid.  
The three of them set off to look, stopping at a dark enough ally to let Newt out of his case, who then carried it with him as they all walked. Once he was informed, he looked to Tina.  
“Do you think he might have went back to the church?” he asked.  
“I…I don’t know… I don’t think he would, he wouldn’t risk Modesty seeing him, he’s…he’s settled with her thinking he’s dead or gone and letting him go. And there’s too many bad memories there.” She reasoned. “Somewhere…somewhere else…”  
“Hey Tina?” Queenie spoke up then, walking in tow with Jacob, hand in his, squeezing his reassuringly as she must of felt the worry and responsibility coming off of him.  
Tina looked to her sister.  
“When we were clearing some of those files, I saw one report, talking about a time when the mass with white eyes did some little damage in the station…and other reports of lights and stuff malfunctioning there.” She stated.  
“S…So…?” Tina questioned, realizing her sister was trying to make some connection.  
“Well…what if that night that…that MACUSA shot him up, what if that wasn’t his first time going to hide there?” she offered. Nibbling at her lip a moment, she went on. “I never made sense of it before, but…but when he gets upset, sometimes he’ll think of stuff to try and stop his bad thoughts, positive things, or distractive things.. He’ll think about us…about painting, Modesty smiling, books… He thinks about that station sometimes, too, and it confused me, because I thought it should be something negative but it always starts out positive. Maybe he used to go there…”  
“It’s worth a shot!” Tina remarked, and was practically leading the way from that point on, Newt on her heels, and Queenie and Jacob right behind him.

Upon arriving in that mended and repaired train station, they all hurried down inside, and looked over the tracks. This place tended to be mostly abandoned, due to the ‘malfunctions’, the only ones to pass through being witches, wizards, the trains, and those few no-majs that weren’t superstitious or bothered by the rumors and drama that had surrounded the place.  
But, now, it was empty. They split up to look, Credence going to where he’d found him before, but having to look. Tina looked as if she was heading for the tunnel, and Queenie looked worried and ready to join her, but something drew her in the opposite direction.  
Jacob turned in the direction she was looking, and passed the pillars until he finally found Credence on the other side of one, barely letting out a breath, though he looked like he could start gasping. He was trying to contain so much, from the look of his restless and his shaking limbs.  
Jacob, not wanting to speak yet, just waved Queenie over, and she called to the others. Jacob knelt down, though gave Credence his space.  
As the others joined, they stood around Jacob, knowing better than to crowd the young man.  
“…Hey, kid…” Jacob spoke carefully then.  
Credence glanced up with his wet eyes, but dropped his gaze quickly and muttered almost silently, “I’m sorry…”  
“…What?”  
He sniffed. “I’m sorry.”  
“…Credence, for what…?” Tina asked, kneeling down, too, to Jacob’s left.  
Credence shook his head, unable to explain right away. His face contorted, lips quivering. He gave small little gasps, trying to get control of his breathing for a moment. Shaking his head again, he finally answered. “…F-for being this way…”  
“What way, Credence?” Jacob asked, a dismissive chuckle almost in his voice, his tone suggesting nothing about the way he is was wrong.  
He shut his eyes tight, shaking his head again. “…I…I still…I still get hurt…by it all… I get…a-angry, and scared, a-a-and….” He made a small, angry, distressed noise before sobbing, “I c-can’t even speak…!” he shoved his palm against his forehead, rubbing harshly.  
“Credence…”  
“I-I’m sorry for not…not feeling happier, you…a-all have done s-so much…and I-I…I feel like I’m no better… I’m sorry you…you all have t-to k-keep doing this…keep helping me, I’m l-like a child, I’m helpless, I can’t…can’t do anything, I’m sorry, I’m so sorry, I hate m-my…I hate…” he choked on his words and faded into sobs. But, despite his emotional state, Newt and Tina, and even Queenie took notice that there was no shift of dark energy, none of his Obscurus seeping out of him. A few lights flickered, but that was sometimes natural, with distressed Wizards or Witches. He couldn’t even see, he was better than he thought.  
So they would all have to try and help him see such.  
Tina tried to tell him that he is doing better, so much better, than where he started. Credence kept shaking his head, but she told him how much more he’s learning. How much better he is at recognizing when his Obscurus is acting up. How strong he’s been trying to be, how hard he’s been trying to learn, and be, more than he ever was.  
He still shook his head.  
Queenie tried to tell him he’s gotten so much stronger, he’s started to heal, just a little by little. Even going to get new clothes, and burning his old ones. Buying that sketchbook for himself was even good! Credence sobbed, but she told him, he was becoming so much more than he had been. He was his own Modest Bloom.  
He sobbed more, shaking his head, covering his face.  
Newt went on to tell him how he had already been so good, he was just lost, and shaken, and he had a heavy burden. But he went on to say how he has seen Credence learn to carry that burden, better and better, easier. He went on to point out to Credence, how even now, it was only them. No Obscurus, just them.  
Credence just shook, unable to remove his hands to look and confirm.  
Then it was Jacob’s turn.  
“Hey…Credence, what…what do you really think you…did so wrong?” he asked.  
Credence shook, and sobbed, and gasped, and tried his best to calm enough to speak. He couldn’t look at any of them when he finally did. “..I-I tore apart this city, I…scared so many, my sister, I killed…Ma…and Chastity I think… I-I killed Shaw…Shaw just because…because he called me a freak…! I’m…mm… I’m a mons-ster…”  
Jacob shook his head slightly, before hanging it a moment. Then he stood, then he went, and sat by Credence, who barely reacted, other than glancing in the man’s direction a few times. The others just stood by, giving them a moment, trying not to hover, but unable to give them privacy due to their shared worry.  
“…You think you’re a monster…because you did bad things. Bad things to people, and bad things to bad people.” Jacob stated, and the sob and noise that came from Credence was his confirmation. “Well…I understand that Credence.”  
Shaking, he looked up to Jacob faintly, tears gliding down his cheeks.  
“I understand doing…not so great things, causing a lot of bad things. I understand people thinking…thinking they’re monsters for what they had to do…lives they took. Killing ain’t a good thing, killing should never be. But Credence, it happens.” He glanced to the young man, who was watching him with a vulnerable, scared gaze. “I ain’t saying it’s exactly right, what you did. He called you a freak, sure, that didn’t exactly mean it was an attack, but…that doesn’t change what it felt like to you. And from what Newt tells me, that Obscur-thing, it…just…listens to your pain. IT killed Shaw. Not you…right?” he looked to Newt then.  
“…In certain terms, yes. It is a part of you, Credence, and that is where some blame lays….but…you didn’t voluntarily choose to do that…” Newt answered, and Jacob nodded and pointed in his friends direction.  
“Yeah! Exactly! Look, kid, it can’t be easy, what you have, and what it’s made you do, or you’ve caused it to do, or whatever…but…that doesn’t make you a monster. No more than my brothers in arms were monsters for the enemies they had to kill, and the deaths they might have caused in their struggle. They have one war, you… You have a different kind you’ve been fighting all your life. Credence, it’s not right, but it’s also not something you can wear on your shoulders forever. Those people did you no favors, and you never hurt anyone before that, or sense, so you know what? I don’t see a monster.”  
Credence shook his head, but it was with less angry denial.  
“…Wanna know what I see?”  
Credence took a deep breath to try and calm his shaking, and it just barely worked. “…What?”  
“A friend. A good friend. A friend who shied away from those ingredient at the apothecary because some of it reminded you of the friends you’ve made in Newt’s creatures. I see a friend who so thoughtlessly and selflessly helps those he cares for. I see a friend who just wants to be happy, yet still tends to worry about everyone else’s over his own. I see a friend, okay? That’s what you are. To me, at least.”  
Credence just watched him, lip quivering, but the look in his eyes had softened.  
“To me, too.” Tina spoke up softly, then.  
“Me too, Sweetie.” Queenie smiled warmly.  
“Me, as well.” Newt of course added, assuring Credence heard conviction in his voice.  
He glanced to them all, then back to Jacob, who smiled reassuringly. And then he shut his eyes and just fell against Jacob, who hesitated only a moment, before draping an arm over his shoulders and rubbing his arm.  
“It’s okay, kid. Promise, it’s okay.”

After that event, Credence stayed home a little longer. He needed time, alone, to sort of collect himself. To think on what happened, and what his friends had said. To think on himself and what he had been, what he had become, and what he was now. He wasn’t quite sure what that was, and he wasn’t entirely sure how he felt about himself, either. But, after that night, he tried to stop seeing himself so darkly. He tried to see his actions a bit different, despite still holding blame and guilt. The thoughts still came, and he had a dark dream or two. But he fought it, as best he could.  
A little over a week had gone by since Credence had seen his no-maj friend, and he felt it was time he went to see him again. To apologize for the event, and keeping away so long. To thank him, for his words. To thank him for his friendship.

He went alone. He pushed past the anxiety of going alone, ignoring the thought of others staring at him, whether they were or not. Head mostly ducked down, he thought, as he walked, of what he’d say. He and Jacob had been having such a good few days of hanging out together, and then he had to have a breakdown, over a piece of paper… He hoped Jacob wasn’t disappointed.  
Upon arriving, he made his way up to his apartment, and knocked carefully on the door, waiting. He heard the footsteps, and was partially keeping his head up, to keep eye-contact, which still tended to be hard.  
Jacob answered the door, and when he saw it was Credence, he broke into a smile. “Hey! I was wondering when you’d drop by again. Come on in.” he move out of the way for Credence to enter, who walked into the small section that was partially his bedroom but also led to the kitchen and bathroom.  
Credence looked around, glancing to Jacob, but mostly just keeping his gaze away. “I’m sorry, for…not coming sooner. Or at least sending a letter or something…”  
Jacob shook his head, dusting off his somewhat messy hands on his apron. “Hey, it’s fine. I understand.” He assured him.  
Credence, slightly wringing his hands behind his back, straightened up to look Jacob in the eye. “I just…needed to come and say…that I’m sorry, Jacob.”  
Jacob sighed and shook his head. “No, hey, Credence, you ain’t gotta do that.”  
Credence shook his head. “Please…just, let me.”  
Jacob bit his tongue and hesitated, before nodding and letting him speak.  
Credence took a breath. “I’m sorry, for what happened that day. For snapping, and running, and…and worrying you. You all. I’m sorry that I was so…sensitive that I just couldn’t…” he sighed, shaking his head slowly and swallowing. “I didn’t mean for that day to go that way, and I wish I could have changed it. I’m sorry for staying away, as well. I just needed time to think, after that night. After everything you all had said. Especially you.  I just needed to think, about myself, about how I see things…how I feel about what I am, what I’ve done.”  
Jacob just nodded in understanding, no offense or disappointment in his eyes as Credence spoke, and when Credence saw that, he felt the tightness in his chest loosen.  
“I also wanted to thank you for what you said. It meant…meant a lot to me. It’s hard to see that, in myself. Because I’ve never been that before, for others, I never…thought I could be…a friend. Not one that everyone…” he couldn’t finish, he just cleared his throat, rolling his shoulders a little. “I thought I’d…invite you over to the apartment.”  
Jacob was surprised by that. “Really? But, I thought…-”  
“Tina said it would be okay. Everyone’s excited for you to come over, so I really hope you’ll let me make it up to you by-”  
Jacob waved him off. “Credence, you don’t have to make up for anything. But I WILL accept the invitation!” he chuckled happily, and vanished into the kitchen. “Let me just finished this up, and we’ll go!”  
“Oh.” Credence remarked, a soft smile on his lips at how excited Jacob seemed. “You don’t have to rush, you know.”  
“Oh, I know, it’s a personal choice. Besides! We still have our little mission, don’t we?” he called from the kitchen.  
Credence was confused at first. “…Mission?”  
Eventually, Jacob came back, holding the bottle of giggle water in hand and grinning. Credence chuckled at the sight, shaking his head.  
“We’re gonna have some fun.”  
Credence just smiled to Jacob. He hadn’t been mad at all, accepted him just the same. Credence was glad to have a friend like him.

And even more so, once they started with their fun.  
It probably wouldn’t have been as funny as it ended up being, had Tina and Newt not been acting so awkward. Queenie and Jacob seemed to have a knowing attitude about it, as Tina and Newt would try to strike up conversation, as if they wanted to continue speaking with one another, but they were poor conversationalists. Credence saw how Tina would look to Newt, and smile, when he wasn’t looking. Newt would do the same, though he got a little twinkle in his eye instead.  
So Queenie, mouth shut about the boys’ plans, sat by with Jacob as Credence poured their drinks for them in the kitchen. Tina and Newt were too busy talking about the different politics and obligations of MACUSA and MoM, so they didn’t see the strange bottle being poured. They didn’t even pay attention to how the liquid looked when their cups were set before them, they just thanked Credence as the young man then went to sit with Jacob and Queenie and, like them, tried not to watch expectantly.  
“Well,” Tina began, and took up her cup, completely oblivious to the three pairs of eyes trained on her, “I’m sure your book will be accepted swifter than you think. People need to realize how much more valuable knowledge and understanding is, rather than caution and quick actions. You’re going to change the wizarding community, Newt.” She smiled to him.  
He smiled back with his awkward, touched little grin, freckles standing out against a faint blush. “Well, th-thank you… I appreciate that.”  
She smiled, and took a nice, long sip of her drink, just as Newt was moving to take a sip from his as well. And she suddenly gave a loud laugh, right in Newt’s face, making the poor guy jump in surprise. The other three were giggling as Tina blushed, and Newt gave a weird awkward laugh too, having taking some of the drink in his mouth and just having swallowed. He barely got the concerned questioned, ‘Are you alright’ out before he had laughed.  
The other three were shaking, containing their amusement, and the two blushing looked over to them, accusation growing in Tina’s eyes before she looked down to her drink, Newt doing the same.  
“Did you pour us giggle water?!” Tina accused, and Newt looked closer at the drink before shaking his head and laughing, face-planting against his hand.  
“It was Jacob’s idea!” Queenie ducked behind him, as he looked offended at the sellout.  
“H-hey, I just…thought it’d be funny, but… Hey, Credence is the one who poured it!” he stated, and Credence looked shocked.  
“B-but…you’re the one who suggested it!” Credence defended, the octaves of his voice going up a bit.  
Jacob just laughed, looking back to Newt and Tina, his hands up in surrender.  
Tina, still blushing, shook her head at them, looking to Newt, who was just smiling widely.  
“Cheers?” he offered his glass to her, and she couldn’t help but grin, taking hers back up.  
“Oh, wait for us!” Queenie dismissed their drinks for a moment, and rushed to pour three more glasses and came hurrying back to offer Jacob and Credence theirs.  
Already chuckling, five of them said their cheers, clanked their glasses, and took long sips each, before they all burst into cackling, giggling laughter.

And that’s how their night ended. Woes and troubled thoughts, and embarrassed feelings, all forgotten with each burst of joyous noise, because what did it all matter? They were together. And they were happy.


	5. Once Suffered Alone, Now Soothed

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So sorry in the delay of chapters, life has been a little crap and distracting, but I'm hoping that, with this chapter finally finished, I can work towards getting the rest of the story done as well, as it's all plotted, i just have to actually write and flesh it out. Thank you to any still following, and hope you enjoy! (chapter might be a bit long, so that's either good or bad, depending on the kind of reader you are).

 

 

Chapter 5  
**Once Suffered Alone, Now Soothed**

                From that night of laughter, things seemed better. Tina’s days may have gotten busy, Jacob may have been able to visit less, but somehow, Credence was now holding hope and joy a little bit more firmly now. Fear of that faltering was present, of course, but he kept trying. And that was always something all on its own.

That evening, the house was nearly empty, apart from two human inhabitants (not counting the creatures inside the case). Queenie and Jacob had managed to work out a way to have a nice, romantic, somewhat open date, while still being stealthy. IE, they traveled almost out of New York to find a nice spot not frequented by the wizarding community. Queenie told them not to expect her back TOO soon because she wanted to be able to enjoy her time with Jacob.  
Tina was out as well that evening. Perhaps not as willingly, and more than likely not enjoying herself as much. She was at a meeting with her coworkers up at MACUSA headquarters. It was actually a sort of party, technically, but she didn’t refer to it as that. But she was still trying to live up to her reinstatement, and seeing as she hadn’t entirely given in to her doubts and opinions against MACUSA’s way of dealing with things, she decided she still needed to keep up respect. So of course, she attended.  
Which left Credence and Newt home alone, and the house might as well have been empty for how silent they were being. But it was mutual and by choice of both. Newt was working over some of his notes for his manuscript, and scribbling away in a notebook he also kept for himself, which was a bit more personal take on his studies and his creatures, specifically those he currently had.  
And Credence was working on a sketch, as he had finally gotten inspiration. Little ideas here and there had already covered at least four pages before the one he was currently working on. The first sketch had been over his Modest Bloom, with Queenie’s magic butterfly resting on it. Another had just been something abstract when he had been feeling bad; a lot of smokiness, and black details. The next had been sketches of eyes, those of his friends. The next had been hands. He wasn’t sure why he was led to those last two, he just felt the need to sketch them. Now, he was working on what was a sort of abstract inspired by giggle water. A simple drawing of a person, looking down, head hanging, with dark shades and little to no details, just smokey. And then on the opposite, upper corner, a happier looking figure, with vibrant designs coming off of them.  
The two of them sat in content silence as they worked, only to be interrupted when growls and noises were heard from the case, and a few thumps threatened to throw the lid open.  
Newt sighed, putting his notebook aside. “Dougal, calm down. No need for a ruckus every time you…what? What’s going on?” the creature had opened the lid partially and chittered to him, apparently informing him what is was that was going on, though Credence had no idea (he had yet to catch on to what their noises and ways of communication meant, though he could read enough from their body language and actions to sometimes understand). Newt sighed then, and Credence stalled the efforts of his pencil, working on details, as he observed them. “Merlin’s beard, that pest will have me losing my hair before I hit forty…” he stood then.  
Hearing the word pest, of course, Credence knew to what he was speaking of. “Niffler causing problems again…?” he asked.  
Newt nodded. “Bugging the fire crab incessantly it seems. No matter, I need to check in on the lot of them anyways.” He stood from his bed and headed for the case after Dougal opened the lid fully and went ahead inside. “I’ll, uh, be back soon…” he informed Credence, who nodded, before Newt made his way down into the case.  
Credence gaze lingered on it a moment, before it fell back to his drawing, considering what further detail he might add, or at least what he’d been working on before being distracted. But then the case lid popped opened and Newt peaked out.  
“I…didn’t know if you wanted to join me…? I just…couldn’t tell if you seemed to want to, you know they don’t mind your visiting.” He offered.  
Credence was already beginning to put his stuff aside, nodding. Sure, he wasn’t entirely finished sketching, but he was close enough. Then he thought, he could always try to sketch some of the creatures of Newt’s, he’d been itching to for months before buying the sketchbook. “…Is it okay if I bring this?” he raised it.  
Newt nodded. “You may want to keep it in the cabin when it’s not on your possession; I’d hate for any of them to accidently ruin anything.”   
Credence nodded, and hurried to join him in the case, following him down smoothly enough. Once down, Newt going on ahead, he set his book aside, away from any containers that may leak upon it, and would get to it later. But for now, he went off to follow Newt, as Newt was following Dougal to the scene of the skirmish amongst creatures.  
Niffler was already on the fire crabs back, poking and pawing at the natural grown jewels lying upon its shell, intent on getting one or more of them but not currently succeeding, and the fire grab was making noises and snaps of complaint, moving back and forth.  Dougal made a scolding noise towards the niffler, who froze and looked from the demiguise to Newt, who raised a disappointed yet ‘I’m not surprised’ brow at the creature.  
“Do I have to tell you again?” he remarked, stepping forward, but the niffler dropped to all fours, as if preparing to run, and Newt went still, like he himself was preparing to pounce. He got ready, before launching after the niffler, who leapt off the fire crabs back and raced off, Newt laying on his hands and knees, one hand on the fire crabs back. He pet over him carefully. “Don’t you worry, I’ll deal with him. Dougal?” he turned to the demiguise, who came to comfort the fire crab.  
Newt glanced to Credence then, with a smirk that seemed both exasperated by the situation, yet amused and almost energized by a silly thrill. Like, despite the frustration, he sometimes enjoyed this ridiculous pattern with his creatures. “Shall we?”  
Credence laughed shortly, and as Newt hurried off after the niffler, Credence joined them, doubling the effort in looking for him. It was a short chase, surprisingly. Newt said it was the extra help, and he seemed to really believe it as not only did Credence spot and catch the niffler trying to stow some findings away in one of his not-so-secret holes, but the creature didn’t fight his hold as much as he did Newt’s. No, he almost seemed to accept Credence handling him. As Credence did seem to have a soft spot for the creature, though he wasn’t inclined to go easy on him when he’d done wrong.  
“I think he needs a time out. Do you mind taking him to his cave nest? I think I hear the clabbert acting up.” Newt stated, eyeing the niffler currently curling up to Credence’s chest, with exasperated disapproval but faint fondness underneath the disappointed parent act.  
Credence nodded, smiling to Newt. “Of course. I’ll talk to him, too.” He assured Newt, who just smiled a little bigger and nodded.  
“Thank you.”  
Credence took him then, heading to the nifflers little hovel, full of his collection of jewels, gold, and coins. Along the way, while lightly running his forefinger over the creatures fur along his back as it sniffed, he scolded him lightly. “Now, you know better. Newt takes good care of you, and the creatures here should be your friends and neighbors. You can’t keep taking stuff when it doesn’t belong to you, sometimes it hurts people. You have to earn it. Sometimes it can be okay, if your little jewels or coins are lying around, but you know better. Understand? That was mean, what you were doing.”  
The niffler looked up at him with its heightened breathing and big eyes, making a small little noise that was almost a whine, before it buried its face against his jacket.  
“You’re a good little guy. So try to be that little guy more. Okay?”  
The creature simply nuzzled closer, almost trying to burrow into his arm.  
Credence just chuckled. Once they arrived, he stowed him away in his little hole. He pet him fondly. “Now, you stay here. Understood? Newt says you’re in time out. So be good.” He told him pointedly, and the creature seemed to almost nod, before curling up over its gold and jewels and practically cuddling up with it (whether he’d actually stay long, Credence would just have to see).  
Credence then went after Newt again, taking a bit of time to find him as he passed other creatures (some he just observed and that observed him, some he gave brief attention to if they sought it out from him), but he followed the sound of a ruckus and eventually found his friend. Who was currently trying to wrangle little diricrawls away from the clabbert, who kept swatting down at them, as if to swipe them. With the mother about to get involved, the little ones popping in and out all over the place in fear and stress, Newt came between them.  
“Enough. Monty, you know better.” He pointed a disappointed finger at the clabbert, who gave a growling yelp of attitude, looking ready to return to the trees, its webbed hands still fidgeting with his snatchy need. “You don’t eat them, Monty. I’ve told you, when you run low, I will provide. But you do not harm your case-mates.” Newt notice Credence nearing, and held up a hand to stop him, just as the clabbert Monty seemed as if he might get antsy, crouched as if ready to pounce or climb. As Credence stood aside, Newt turned his attention back to the creature, who grunted, indignant. “I don’t care if you’ve gone a few hours without stuffing your face. That’s why you should slow down, I can’t always go get you more to hunt. And those little ones you almost ate, they are your neighbors. Your friends. You do not eat them. Don’t make me have to scold you in front of your friends like this again, understood?”  
The clabbert scoffed, noticing some of the other creatures lingering before going about their business, the diricrawls already flitting off about their original business. He did seem put off by the attention, almost like a child embarrassed for being scolding in front of others, and so he took up into the trees, screeching his annoyance but otherwise keeping to himself.  
Newt shook his head, brushing his hands and turning to Credence. “He gets like that when he’s hungry… Prefers birds, so I have to get them for him, and he eats more than he needs, so he runs out too soon…” he rolled his eyes, muttering about having to go get more birds to set loose for him, but Credence was barely listening; Newt was rolling his sleeves down, but the young man noticed a scratch over the back of his forearm.  
“You’re bleeding…” he stated, stepping forward and lifting his hand a moment in worry, before retracting it and looking to Newt.  
Newt glanced down. “Oh… Oh, yes, I’d forgotten. Thank you, I almost ruined a shirt.” He rolled the sleeve back up, and took out his wand, gliding the tip along the side of the four inch scratch. “The mother got defensive, it’s nothing…” He smiled.  
Credence couldn’t help but stare, though, as the bleeding scratch was mended, and he noticed many previous ones before Newt covered his arm once more. Perhaps it shouldn’t be a surprise, with his work, but there was just a strange tug in his chest, in the pit of his stomach, at the sight, before he looked up to Newt and lowered his gaze, feeling as if he’d been rude.  
“Do you…mind keeping an eye on things while I go fetch him something?” Newt asked Credence, stepping closer.  
Credence looked up to him and nodded. “Yes. I mean, no, I don’t mind. Should I just…let him keep in the trees for now..?” Credence asked, nodding up to Monty.  
Newt nodded. “Yes, he’ll be fine. Just keep your eyes on the avians, and I’ll be right back.”  
“I…okay..” Credence nodded, and Newt hesitated.  
“Is something wrong?”  
“…” Credence hesitated, looking to the mother diricrawl tending to her fledglings. “..You trust me to watch out for them?”  
Newt gave a briefly surprised look at the question, before following his gaze and seeming to consider something between the creatures, and Credence. Then he looked back to Credence solely, and the corner of his mouth quirked. “I do. I trust that you will do the best that you can, which is all I require. I’ll be back soon, promise.”  
Credence still seemed nervous, but he nodded, and so Newt nodded back and made his way in the cabin and supposedly out to go and find somewhere to acquire birds. Which made Credence wonder how exactly he would go about that; did he get them live and if so, how did he choose them? Did he kill them or let them loose? He decided not to think about it too much, keeping his eyes on the previously disrupted and disruptive creatures, as well as keeping a wandering eye on the rest. The clabbert Monty, was restless, what Newt usually described as one of their fits or tantrums, but he stayed up in his little dwelling and didn’t cause any more trouble than perhaps a headache from the noise he was making.  
Credence just barely offered ease and comfort to the diricrawls, but under the mothers care, they were fine, and the mother was a little too put off of contact with any other beings, human or creature.  
It was as Credence was looking about at the other creatures in or around the trees, and trying to speak softly and soothingly to them when they made a noise in his direction, that he heard noise in the cabin, Newt already returned. Credence glanced back to the cabin, then raised his gaze to the trees.  
“You can calm down, Monty, he’s back. Or else that fit of yours might mean you have to wait.” Credence spoke up to the yelping, growling green creature.  
He made a huffed little growl at Credence.  
Credence just shrugged. “Just a warning, I’m only trying to help.”  
Newt made his way over with a small cage full of decently grown, and varied, birds.  He was watching them with an apologetic look, muttering to them as he made his way over. As he passed Credence, the young man just barely heard him say something along the lines of ‘…long enough life, and at least I’m giving you a sporting chance…’ before he stopped at the bottom of the trees. He stood firm by the trunks, as the clabbert hung and glared downward.  
“Are you quite finished?” Newt challenged, and earned a grunt, but the growls and yells had ceased. “I expect an apology in the next few days.” The magizoologist stated, and as the clabbert leapt down and landed, it made little grunts and strange noises akin to croaks, speaking to Newt. Newt raised a finger. “No, no no. Not to me, you know who. She’s very angry with you.” He pointed in the direction of the nesting diricrawls, the mother not looking as if she intended to sleep for the next few hours, staring intently at Newt and Monty.  
Credence just stood by and watched, of course, as Newt scolded but started opening the cage of birds. The younger man had to wonder how long it took for any of his creature’s he’d saved and collected to trust him, and work with him. He wondered the suffering it took on Newt’s part, and also wondered what it was that kept him handling them, even at times like these when they seemed like disruptive children causing problems. But then, Credence himself couldn’t see himself thinking of ever casting any of these creatures aside simply because of stress or inconvenience. And perhaps he should stop taking the examples set by everyone in his former life, and stop trying to apply them to his friends now. It never seemed to fit, anyways. It was just a hard habit to break, it seemed.  
Finally, Newt let loose the birds, who took to the air at various speeds and in various directions. The clabbert gave an excited screech, crouched and launched off into the air to make chase into the trees, as much of a game, a sport to the creature as it was a need to hunt for food.  
Newt sighed and smiled after the creature, shaking his head and looking sideways to Credence, who looked back at him with a small smile, head partially ducking down as he stated, “…It must seem strange.”  
Credence shrugged. “Just a little…I just…wonder how you choose them.. If it ever feels weird, or…wrong to take them just to feed them off.” Credence stated honestly before he could help himself. He ducked his head, worried he’d just sounded very rude and judgmental. “S-sorry. I just…”  
Newt shook his head. “No, it’s alright.” He looked off after the clabbert. “No, I understand…how can I value these animals lives so much, care for them so strongly…defend them as I do, yet go out and fetch these birds only to feed them off like it’s nothing? I’m sure that’s how it seems.”  
Credence shook his head. “I-I don’t mean…to suggest that… That you don’t care, I’m sorry, I…”  
Newt shook his head, turning to face him. “I don’t feel as if you suggest any judgment against me, Credence.” He gave him a soft, understanding look. “I know better…”  
Credence just barely nodded, barely met his eyes.  
So Newt went on. “It was hard, at first. When I was younger, I was very much teased by family and friends alike as…it took me time to learn that there’s a food chain…a cycle that has to be followed, by all creatures. Any animal or beast I saw, I was curious about…fascinated…and I never saw them as lesser when it came to value of life…and knowing how so many creatures killed one another, for whatever reason, it hurt my young heart, my mind by then. But I realized, over time, it’s…a fact of life. And sometimes, death is vital. It’s horrible, but…can be vital. Whether its loss of one life to nurture another…or death to prevent pain… It simply happens, and I have to accept it.” He explained, eyeing Credence up and down faintly, to see if he understood. And of course the young man did, though he just simply nodded.  
“Of course, even understanding that….any time I go retrieve Monty’s meals, I try to find older or lonelier birds if I can manage it. I don’t like catching them young, nor do I like to take any parents from their dependent children if I can manage it (sometimes I can be in too much of a hurry of course, so). It can be conflicting, but…it’s just the way of life. Even defending the diricrawls, I may fail to one day, and have to accept it—not all my creatures are meant to coexist perfectly, and I also have to accept that…so long as I keep most of them living, happy and healthy, I tell myself I’m doing my best.” Newt finished explaining, hands stowed in his pockets as he looked about, gaze just sort of wandering as he was in thought.  
Credence looked about as well. Newt’s words made sense; he understood him a bit better, and the struggle seemed to fit Newt. For how exasperated or angry he could be with any of his creatures, he cared too much. He loved them, it was clear to Credence. And he loved fairly, something that Credence so wordlessly appreciated just being witness to, much less involved in.  
Newt went off to get some pelts to feed the mooncalves, and some water to dish out to some of the other more tired or sick creatures that couldn’t go looking for the water themselves. Credence offered to help, taking small bowls of waters to sections of habitats for Newt. He was just dropping the water off for the mooncalves that Newt would soon be feeding, when he heard something.  
It was strange, like a craw, a whine. But it grew, and it twisted something up in Credence’s chest with the heavy sound of it, and it was as if a hook had dipped into his stomach, suddenly yanking him along to go seek out the source of the mournful, deep, intense noise. It made him want to cry, yet it was almost…calming to him, however strange that fact was.  
He was halfway towards the sound, drawn into what seemed to be a wooded area, dark, dank woods, when he felt a presence beside him before he heard his actual footsteps.  
“If you’re worried something is wrong, it’s not. That’s just how she sounds.” Newt remarked to him, and Credence looked to him, confused, and was too intent on finally seeing the source to be able to even ask any questions before arriving.  
When they finally reached the source, Credence was witness to a strange and somewhat large bird, perhaps half his size and strangely…beautiful. At least, to him. Blackish green feathers, looking something between what he’d seen of sketches of phoenixes or actual sights of vultures, it was still a striking creature. Wings drawn in and slumped, her head hanging low, she raised a beak to let out another curdling cry, and Credence went still, just…staring from his small distance as where she sat in her twig formed, tear shaped nest. He barely noticed that Newt was watching him about as much as he watched the creature itself.  
“Do you know what she is…?” Newt asked quietly.  
Credence considered the bird a moment, assessing the sight of it, thinking of what he’d read of Newt’s work. “It’s…it’s the Irish Phoenix, right? The Augurey?”  
Newt smiled proudly and nodded. “Yes.”  
“She’s…she’s so beautiful…and her song… What was it really a warning of..?” he could barely take his eyes away.  
“Rain. It sounds so haunting to most, though, so it was assumed when her kind made that call or song, it was a warning or omen of death. One of wizard kinds’ more overdramatic assumptions, which are sadly far too many…” he remarked, dropping down to crouch as she inclined her heard in their direction, spotting them. He glanced to Credence.  
The young man quickly caught on and followed his lead, kneeling down and keeping his gaze somewhat down as well, but he couldn’t stop looking. “...Her kind are seen as dark and scary…?”  
“Some of the more beautiful and misunderstood things tend to be, yes. She’s quite gentle, and sweet. She’s just very shy, and prefers to keep to herself. But whenever the diricrawl mother has been wounded or busy, she’ll usually take the fledglings under her wing, enough that they don’t mind her song anymore.”  
Credence smiled at that, as he observed her feathers, their shade and sheen, how she held herself. Strong, but not overly proud. She seemed lonely, but content enough as well. And her song…yes, it seemed mournful, and perhaps wasn’t of the happiest tune or sound. But it made him feel, in such a way that was neither wonderful, nor terrible. But good, in just the fact that it made him _feel_ in perhaps a way he didn’t always let himself feel.   
Newt observed her a moment longer, and then Credence before smiling and leaning close to ask him, “Would you like to feed her, Credence…?”  
Credence looked to Newt, surprised. “I…well, I don’t know if I…”  
“I didn’t ask if you could, as I know you are capable. I asked if you’d like to.” He reiterated. “You don’t have to.”  
Credence hesitated, before nodding.  
Newt smiled and nodded back. “Then wait here, I’ll fetch a serving.”  
Credence nodded back again, looking to the avian creature. She was nipping at her feathers, and he just watched her wing extend a moment, giving him chance to see more of the wing, of the colors, the texture of the feathers, the graceful curve. She was so beautiful, Credence couldn’t find it in himself not to keep thinking of that fact. And she suddenly craned her head up, and was staring back at him. Curious, as if studying him as well, and he stayed still as possible.  
They stayed like that for a while, before the augurey turned her attention to the incoming footsteps and clink of the metal bucket being brought over, Credence glancing to see Newt coming over quickly before kneeling down by Credence.  
Keeping his gaze on the bird, Newt spoke to Credence, somewhat inclined in his direction. “Just offer the bucket. She accepts meals offered from the hand, too, but, she can manage from the bucket and I know not many people can stomach scooping any of this.” He raised the bucket and dropped it back, drawing Credence’s attention to the small bucket-full of bugs. Most were unmoving…but not all.  
Credence looked to Newt, obviously one of those people perhaps more often inclined NOT to touch crawling insects, raised a brow as he asked, “Are those dead or live insects?”  
“…Both..” Newt tried not to smirk, glancing to Credence. “All you have to do is offer it to her until she’s done—she’ll know when she’s had enough, not one to stuff her face like _some_ people.” He spoke towards the trees, but didn’t make any more obvious comment.  
Credence just chuckled once, smiling smally before nodding. “Alright… Is there..anything I should be careful of? I don’t…want to disturb or offend her.”  
“Loud noises are preferred to be avoided, as well as sudden actions, but beyond that…I don’t think there’s much _you_ could do to disturb her. I saw how she was watching you.” He looked Credence over, quirking his head and almost reaching a hand, but he hesitated, and just draped it over his knee. “She already accepts you..”  
Credence was surprised by that, feeling a weird twisting sensation in his gut; he felt…almost undeserving, but he didn’t state this. He just nodded, and looked back to her as he stood, and made his way over, slowly but surely, bucket clutched between his hands.  
As he got closer and closer, she ruffled and gave a small shake of her wings, and gave a weak caw. Credence glanced back to Newt, he just nodded to him, and gave a small smile for reassurance, and Credence continued on.  
“Talk to her, if you’d like…it could soothe your shared nerves.” Newt stated.  
Credence nodded and swallowed as he was only a few steps away, hesitating. “…H-hello there, girl… I don’t mean you any harm, I promise.” He reassured, his tone careful as ever, and she gave a small coo, wings shaking and stretching. “I’m just here to feed you, Newt’s letting me… I’m sure he’s told you before, but you’re a…very pretty, girl.” He felt the need to say, and she cooed again. “Maybe you…wouldn’t mind me sketching you, sometime?”  
He was close enough now, and Credence looked down to the bucket, biting his lip. He’d just met this creature, and already, there was a tug of fondness in his chest for her. So, as if an act of kind offering, as if wanting to show he wouldn’t mind being close to her if she didn’t mind him, he scooped a hand fool of (thankfully mostly unmoving) insects, and offered it to her. His pose was much like giving himself over to the creatures mercy; head almost ducked, though eyes staying mostly on her, shoulders slumped insecurely as he offered a careful hand. His hand shook, a hand so marked by scars.  
The augurey cooed again, giving a very short song to him, and Credence’s hand stopped shaking before she started nipping and pecking up the food carefully from his hand. Eating her offering gratefully, she gave a small squawk, as if asking for more. Credence’s hand tingled, both with unease of the feeling of the insects, and a sort of nice tingle from how the careful scraping of her beak he’d felt. She’d been trying to be careful…  
But, he decided, to allow her more helpings and to avoid any accidental scars, that he’d just offer the bucket from there on.  
It didn’t take long for her to get full, and once she did, she turned her head away from the bucket. Credence considered what that might imply, only for Newt to confirm it for him and he let the bucket hand at his side, as he lingered with her a bit longer.  
The augurey stretched her wings, observing Credence, quirking her head at him a moment. Then she gave him one last, short song, before retreating into her nest for a nap, and Credence let her be, going back to Newt and offering him the bucket.  
Newt, of course, had this small, excited look on his face. Like he was curious and happy, on the verge of asking a question. Credence, over time, had realized this was him just watching others to see if they shared the same awe and admiration of his precious creatures as he did.  
Credence smiled back, as if to confirm for him.  
“So you like her?”  
Credence nodded. “I…I don’t know why, I just…do…somewhere deep down, I do.”  
“Perhaps…you feel something kindred in her.” Newt offered as he was walking the bucket back to the cabin, Credence walking by his side.  
Credence was slow to respond, but eventually, he nodded. “I think I do…and it’s strange, I…I-I don’t feel things like that often, and…definitely not that easily..”  
“Well, I can tell you it’s mutual. I’m the only other human she’s warmed up to. But, I think she sensed something in you, too. Usually, other people have to keep their head down as to not alarm her. They have to lower their voice as to not disturb. Even watch how they move and act, as to not unnerve. She likes you. I don’t think she’d mind you visiting to sketch her.” Newt assured him as they arrived at the cabin, dumping out the bugs into the stash he had, and setting the bucket inside the cabin. He looked to Credence. “I could show you how to tend to her wings, she’s learned to let me help clean them.”  
Credence’s eyes widened with a brief excitement. “I…s-sure.”  
Newt smiled warmly, the excitement obviously pleasing to him.  
Credence smiled a little, too, before starting to wonder before he asked, “…Does she have a name?”  
Newt shook his head. “Not yet. I only just got her…maybe a few weeks before arriving here in New York? I’d been working on saving her a little longer, but that is where I worked on trust with her. She warmed up to me once she was out of the harsh environment I found her. She prefers seclusion, but longs for company, that’s why I’ve kept her here until I can find her somewhere proper to live… Somewhere with someone, or some witches or wizards, who can appreciate her for what she is, and respect her needs for space as well as her needs for company. But, a proper name has not come to mind…” he stated, glancing up to Credence, before lowering his gaze as he fiddle with some of his bottles in the cabin. “It might seem silly…but I just…prefer to let the name come to me, rather than choose one solely because I find it amusing or entertaining. I want to offer them a name that…is them.”  
“That’s not silly.” Credence reassured automatically. “It’s respectful.”  
“I’m glad you think so.” Newt grinned partially. He seemed to be looking over some of his bottles of ingredients, as if considering working on some potions, but he hesitated. He seemed to suddenly get a thought or idea, because he turned to Credence, the thought on the tip of his tongue. “Do you… Well, would you…like to name her…?” he offered then.  
Credence initially just shook his head, shrinking a little. “N-no, I…I couldn’t, I’ve only just met her… You’ve known her longer, shouldn’t you…? I’m…not good with names…” he stated. “Just ask Queenie.”  
Only briefly confused by the last statement, Newt waved his hand. “You don’t have to. But, like I’ve said, no name has presented itself to me yet, and it just seems there’s…something valuable brewing between you two… I feel like you could find the right name.”  
It was perhaps silly, but that just felt like sudden and unwanted responsibility to Credence. He didn’t like the idea of being responsible for what any being was referred to by, but, even so…perhaps Newt had a point. Maybe… Credence shrugged lightly. “I’ll… I’ll give it some thought. That’s the best I can promise.”  
Newt just smiled and nodded, before getting to work, and assuring Credence he would be fine to either sketch in here as Newt worked, or go around sketching if he liked and felt his work was safe doing so.  
Credence thanked him, and went off to find a specific creature to sketch. He wanted to at least trying doing it somewhat up close, but if there was worry for any damage to his sketching pencils, or his paper, he’d just have to work by mental reference inside.

And so he did a page or two of various sketches of some of Newt’s smaller creatures; the baby diricrawls, some fluffy, round little creatures that he feels he remembers the description of, something having to do with puff, the bowtruckles, billywigs, and even some of the mooncalves. He liked a lot of these creatures, either finding them fascinating, sweet, or precious, and they made his chest feel warm and pleased. Like the billgywigs, with their crazy flight, the bowtruckles and their loyal nature towards their home tree (Pickett simply having found a different home tree in the ‘mum’ of the case), or the mooncalves with their big eyes and excitable nature.  
All the while he was sketching, Credence either wore an intense look of concentration, or a soft smile of satisfaction and peace.  
He was just doing a sketch of Monty, as he was resting and stationary for the moment, when he heard to augurey’s cry once more. It wasn’t loud or drawn out, so he assumed it wasn’t anything important, but even so…he suddenly itched to go back and visit her…perhaps he could even try sketching her.  
He returned to the cabin just as Newt was pouring his finished mixes and brews, into different vials and containers, corking them afterwards.  
He glanced to Credence, as way of asking him what he needed to say, obviously able to tell he had something to say.  
“I… Well, I was wondering…if I could go back to see the augurey…You know, if that would be alright.” Credence managed to finally ask.  
Newt faced him then, a small smile as he nodded. “Of course you can, Credence. I don’t mind at all, and I doubt she’ll mind your company.”  
Credence nodded, relieved and somewhat excited, smiling smally. He was realizing he was developing a new favorite out of Newt’s creatures (though that didn’t change the soft spots he held for the smaller little friends he’d made, like Pickett, or the niffler). He gripped his sketchbook then, considering it.  
“What is it?” Newt asked.  
“Nothing, I’m just…thinking…of whether I want to try and sketch her. Or, if I’d rather not have a distraction in her company.” Credence explained.  
Newt considered him and his book a moment, thinking it should be his decision, but that did get him thinking. “Well…I may have a task for you that would make the decision for you. Though, it’s only if you’d be up for it.” He explained.  
Credence looked at him, raising a brow. Instead of immediately answer, Newt turned around and grabbed an empty bucket, a small container of slightly bubbling liquid, and a rag.  
“…Well.. She’s been a bit down of late, after all the drama, the discord can tend to get to her… She hasn’t had as many bathes as she needs to, and sometimes, she has to be convinced. There’s a section with a spring, I usually let her bathe there…but she might need some encouraging. And she might have some matted spots she needs help with. Perhaps, the two of us could help her?” Newt offered.  
Credence was surprised, but even though he felt that initial hesitation, simply feeling an aversion to taking on some new responsibility, something about it interested him. He could touch her feathers, maybe, and pet her, if she’d allow it. And to be able to help care for her, further… Oh, he’d very much like that. He set aside his sketchbook, and Newt knew he already had his answer.  
Once Credence nodded, Newt smiled and nodded back, leading him out. “Come on, then!”  
Newt made his way back to the tear-drop nest with Credence in tow. As they walked, Newt gave Credence a few pointers preemptively.  
“Have you ever seen a bird bathe, Credence?” Newt asked.  
Credence shrugged and shook his head. “Not…not really, I don’t think.”  
“Well, usually they do it on their own, as it’s better that way, and they don’t need the assistance. But in situations where certain harmful minerals or dirt or oils get into their feathers, it’s harder to get out, as they usually preen and splash in water or under a spray.” Newt described to him as they passed some of the rocks that Tina and Queenie thought could sort of lead some paths to the different environmental sections. “So, if she has any dirt or anything, which I think she might have a bit, we use this.” He held up the bubbly liquid. “It’s a special soap I made, I had to dilute some of it to keep the harmful substances from overdoing its effect on her feathers, and I don’t use it until there’s dirt or oil. Otherwise, I’ll just help her with the water, or pet the water through her feathers to soothe her if she’s tired or weak.”  
Credence nodded, quickly understanding.  
“So what I’ll do,” Newt briefly glanced to Credence, “is I’ll give you a chance to work some water through her feathers. I’ll pour the water, carefully, once we have her over in the little lake. We’ll do that, just so she’ll get comfortable with us helping, and once she’s relaxed, we work on the dirt in her feathers. You can use the soap, just in doses enough that match the amount of dirt. Now, don’t worry about upsetting her. You’ll know if she’s not comfortable. And if she is, then she’ll enjoy it. When she can trust and accept the attention, she adores it.” He explained, as they were nearing the nest.  
Credence was both nervous and excited. To touch that beautiful creatures feathers, to tend to them, to soothe her, make her better. He would happily commit to doing such from now on, it wouldn’t be much of a problem to him.  
Once they arrive, she chirped in greeting, seeming content with the visit. Newt showed the bucket and the soap, and she made a coo-like noise, realizing what it meant, and she doesn’t seem to mind. She actually extended her wing, nosing and pecking at some feathers.

They set to work. Newt seemed intent on getting Credence to develop a decent rapport with the augurey, and if Credence didn’t both appreciate it and mostly happily accept it, he could almost feel pushed enough to ask why. But, he almost felt like he knew _why_ , he just didn’t think to make a conversation on it; because why else would Newt continue to make a point about just how kindred Credence’s spirit was to that of the avian creature?   
Newt had him perch the augurey on his upper arm, carrying her over to the little lake they had. There was a block of wood, slightly submerged, that she could perch on while Newt slowly doused the water. And Credence began as Newt guided. The water flowed down on the birds back, making her caw, and Credence reached a careful touch over the feathers, between the wing joints. It made her jump at first, and quirk her head at him. He stopped, only for her to shake out her wings and turn her attention away. He took that as an okay, and pet his fingers carefully through and over feathers, finding the spots that felt matted, and he got the soap. Surprisingly, what dirt there was, it didn’t seem exactly stuck on there. It actually glided off the moment his hand brushed it, or she moved her wings enough, but it had messed up her feathers a bit (Newt commented about how oils thankfully don’t damage or stick on her wings like other avians, which is why her kins’ feathers can’t be used for quills, as they repel ink and a few things similar).  
Credence liked this, helping her, learning about her from Newt, as well as whatever creatures might come up in the process of their work. He freaked a few times, after working the soap over some of the messed up feathers. He’d just cleaned and fixed them, when he pulled a feather, and the augurey leaned to preen at them. He looked, panicked, to Newt, holding a small and medium sized feather wet against his hand.  
Newt almost chuckled, but refrained, just smiling reassuringly. “It happens. Not very often, but it happens—unless you grip and yank them, if they fall out, its natural. Like strands of hair being lost in the process of washing your hair—just not as often.”  
Credence calmed and nodded. “O-okay…” he brushed the feathers aside, and worked with Newt to finish their work.  
Once most of the spots that would need help were cleaned, they left the rest of the washing and cleaning to her, her preening through the feathers with her beak, flailing about in the water. Once done, she came out to dry land, shaking out her wings, and taking flight a few times to dry herself.  
Once dry, she looked to Credence, and seemed somewhat expectant. Credence looked confused, but didn’t look away from her as he asked, “…Why is she watching me like that?”  
Newt smirked to her. “Raise your arm.” He instructed instead of answering clearly.  
Credence glanced to him, then back to the bird, raising his arm up. She took flight, only to land on Credence’s arm, ruffling some of his hair with the beat of her wings, but he didn’t mind. He smiled.  
“She’s being lazy, it seems. Would like you to take her back home?” Newt teased.  
Credence chuckled. “I think I can do that for her.” She’d been gracious enough to allow his touch to her feathers, to trust him, so it only seemed reasonable that he return some favor.

They finished up, Credence washing his hands, and intent on drawing his green-feathered friend. Newt suggested, upon a sudden loud growl of his stomach, that they find their selves something to snack on, as it may still be a little while before Tina and Queenie return home from work, and they usually planned the big meals (Newt and Credence shared a wish to help out, but the two of them were poor in making reasonable meals, so just kept out of the way). Credence agreed, as though his stomach did not make an announcement outwardly, he was very aware of his hunger. Credence grabbed his sketchbook as Newt was trying to shoo off the puffball he stated was a puffskein, who was jumping around his feet, against his leg a bit.  
“No, Harriett, no—what if Miss Tina returns, and you got in trouble, and got me in trouble? I’ll bring you leftovers after.” He told the little creature, and Credence chuckled, already half up the ladder stairs.  
But the little yellow furry ball just made a whining noise of complaint, and jumped even higher.   
“…None of you like to make it easy on mum, do you?” he accused with a sigh, picking up the creature, and then noticing Credence watching him. His freckles stood out a bit from a small blush. “I have a weakness, I’m not ashamed to admit it.”  
Credence just chuckled and led the way.

They managed to find some things to make some simple sandwiches with, and once made, they ate them at the couch, offering enough space between them for the puffkein to play around in while being open to attention.  
Once mostly finished, they both gave over leftovers, Newt’s being just barely less than half of his sandwich, and Credence gave up the corners he’d torn off. Harriett was very pleased. As Newt pet through her fur with a content smile on his face, Credence set to working on his sketch of the augurey. He did it by memory, decently well, adding bits of shading here and there as was needed, applying the pressure of his pencil the accent the details of feathers, or around her face and eyes and beak. All the while, committing to his work, he thought of her and his connection, which he did not notice made the lines and strokes of his pencil all the more intent yet soft. He thought of the connection, and the familiarity, and how he saw his self in her. She was secluded, and sometimes preferred it, but she also enjoyed the attention, when it was kind and trustworthy and kind hearted. Her spirit could seem to be heavy, and she was so misjudged, but there was more to her than what others could see, and more inside of her than what was initially seen.  
It was by the time he was finishing his sketch that suddenly, he was thinking of her name. He felt better about trying to name her, about taking on that responsibility, right now. Oh, he imagined her flourishing, happy…imagined himself, imagined a shared spirit…  
And suddenly, he thought of a name. One he’d heard the meaning of only once or twice, but he found the name very strong and beautiful…and suddenly, it felt as if it could fit.  
Glancing to Newt, who was holding the puffskein in his hands, near his face and making faces at her, Credence carefully wrote the name over the top of the finished sketch. Feeling nervous, he waited until Newt had set Harriett down in his lap, before tapping Newt’s shoulder.  
Newt curiously looked to him, and Credence said nothing, just opened the sketchbook to the right page, and let Newt make sense of it. It took Newt a moment, simply because he was too busy admiring the entire drawing to really take in the name. But when he finally did, he looked to Credence with a raised brow, looking for confirmation it seemed that that was what he thought it was, but Credence was so nervous about his choice, he lowered his head and shrugged.  
“I-if it’s not a good one, I can keep thinking—” he started, but after a few hesitated movements, Newt put a hand over Credence’s, giving a small pat.  
“I think it fit’s her…. Florence… I really think it fits.” Newt told him.  
Credence looked at him, long enough to study his face, the look in his eyes, to be sure he wasn’t just saying that to appease him. But, he seemed earnest and true with his words; he seemed actually pleased. So Credence smiled softly and nodded. “…A-alright… Florence, then.”

Credence and Newt had traded tasks, somewhat; Credence was rubbing and scratching the top of the puffskein’s head whilst Newt was looking carefully through the sketchbook, at all of Credence’s work, muttering small praise here and there over how good he was, not just with accuracy, but with creativity and feeling, when they heard incoming footsteps.  
Newt handed back Credence’s book and scooped up Harriett, Credence and Newt sharing a panicked look over what to do with her, when Newt muttered to her about hiding for the moment and how she needed to be still and quiet. He then hid her under some of the blankets set on the couch.  
Just in time, of course, as Queenie came bursting in. Credence was surprised by the urgency she seemed to have, as she only half closed the door and upon spotting the two on the couch, before either of them could question her, she raised a hand. A noticeably sympathetic look to Credence, and a look of warning given to them both before she finally spoke.  
“We…we got company. Just…they’ll be coming up any second once Teen gets him past the landlady. Um…she h-had a crazy day at work today—not bad, but just…busy. They dealt with a lot of problematic security problems, and it brought up things, and… Well, Tina talked to Percy about some of her frustrations with the procedures taken in certain situation, it brought up all the drama,” the way she said drama assured both the men on the couch of what she was referring to, “and, you know, Graves is the only one she can speak to truthfully. And he’s been good about hearing her out, and agreein’ mostly, but…but he’s still a bit strict, ya know? Still Head of Magical Law Enforcement, so he has his opinions and feelings on things and…” she took a breath and sighed, having said all this in a concerned rush, shaking her head. “Look, Tina’s been trying to talk him down from this, but he’s not taking no for an answer right now. Credence, you better hurry and get to the room if you wanna be away from this.”  
Credence swallowed, his shoulders slumping a bit and hands coming together nervously, gut twisting up in tight knots so suddenly. This is not something he expected to happen today, but he felt the need to ask, “B-but why does he feel…the need to come here? Are they unable to talk up at the MACUSA building?”  
Queenie bit at her lip. “N-not exactly… He’s just…got some opinions, about Newt still being here, and…and, well, you. But Tina is very stern about him not pushing to speak to you, Credence, she’s damn-near threatened him about that. So, please, just go on…”  
Credence didn’t, though. Not exactly for any brave stroke, he was actually a bit frozen for a moment. He felt on the verge of nausea. Hearing the man’s voice, as he had from the letter, was one thing. Having gotten used to hearing it again, and disassociating it from the false dark wizard, he’d felt just a bit better about the existence of the man. But he was panicking at the idea of him being there, seeing him face to face, hearing him, and he apparently had some opinions to share, things to say, relating to him.  
“…Credence…” came Newt’s careful tone, and Credence snapped out of it with an intake of breath, looking to Newt. “It’s alright, let’s just—”  
But it was too late.  
Just outside the door, the voices could be heard.  
“No matter how you may mean well, Tina, it doesn’t change the risks to our community.” The man’s firm voice was closest, but it was soon followed by the witch he was speaking to.  
“I know the risks as well as you, Mr. Graves, believe me! But that doesn’t change anything and I’ve told you, he doesn’t need this!”  
They entered then, Graves first with Tina going so far as to grab his coat sleeve to stop him, Newt and Credence standing upon their entry. Graves took in all the inhabitants of the room, as if assessing the situation and all he may need to take stock of, though his gaze mostly focused in on Newt and Credence; Newt, he fixed with a certain level of disapproval and Credence with pity.  
Tina, of course, laid her eyes on both of them, looking apologetic to the two, seeming concerned for Newt, and to Credence, absolutely ashamed.  
Graves took a step forward, and Tina pulled on his sleeve, and stepped with him, muttering a warning, looking on the verge of pulling her wand if he didn’t hold on to some hesitation here.   
Credence was gripping at his hands strongly, roughly, as he stared at them, but mostly at Percival Graves, seeming petrified in his presence. He took in the look of him. He was different, held himself just a bit differently and Credence wasn’t sure if that was a failing of impersonation by Grindelwald, or if Graves had simply lost a bit of his strength and step after being kidnapped and tormented to whatever degree by the dark wizard. His clothes were different, still a certain style, of a certain attitude, and he still wore a scarf hanging off his neck. His face seemed just slightly more stubble-covered than Credence had known it to be, and he was unsure if that too was an inaccuracy, or simply due to having been hidden away for so long, unable to tend to himself like a reasonable person. Those eyes, though, were what threw him. They didn’t have the same mystery Credence had once been curious about, only to finally realize was darkness and corruption and something to be feared. But they did have a similar intensity, and he noticed a pull of Graves’ brow; he gave a look that was playing for sympathetic, as he spoke.  
“…Credence Barebone… I know this is unexpected, and Tina has warned me against doing this, but things are far more severe then she wants to accept, or that she’s willing to even tell you—Credence—” he’d spoke, but halfway through his sentence, Credence had already walked off, going to the kitchen, at least for some distance. He couldn’t exactly hide now, though if only he’d snapped out of it and gotten to Newt’s case after Queenie’s initial warning, he could have avoided this. But all he could do was strive for distance at the moment, as his hands were starting to shake, his eyes starting to sting.   
Graves sighed, pulling free of Tina’s grasp, but she and Queenie both blocked him from trying to follow Credence into the kitchen, and he resigned to the distance and set to his task then, as he had reason to be here beyond just speaking to the young man.  
“You’re going too far here, Mr. Graves.” Tina still tried for some level of respect between herself and her superior, but the emotions, both heavy and angry, in her eyes that made them shine, showed respect could only be held for so long.   
“In certain aspects, perhaps, Tina. But that changes nothing. There’s only so long that you two will be able to handle the responsibility, of all of this, that you have taken upon yourselves.” He stated. “Your job, Tina, is one thing. Harboring an unwelcomed wizard, who has been advised to leave New York for…how long now?” he glanced from Tina, to Newt, who straightened his stature from that of a scolded child to a more firm and defensive stature. But he didn’t answer, and Graves turned back to Tina with his estimated time. “At least…half a year now…if not a bit more. You can argue how he is not of any risk, and perhaps his being sent back to London is unfair, but can you honestly tell me that those _creatures_ aren’t a risk?”  
“Not to the degree you believe, Mr. Graves. I’ve been dealing with them just fine for six months, haven’t I?” she stated, a hand moving to her hip, head quirking.  
Graves almost smirked, amused and rearing from her attitude; it seemed all their mutual agreements and feelings over MACUSA as of late in their solo meetings were not present, at least not at the moment. “…That you have. But for how long will that last? How many creatures do you own, Mr. Scamander?” he turned on Newt then.  
Newt looked from Graves, to Tina, and back. “…A great many, sir.”  
Graves scoffed a short laugh. “As I assumed. And how many are dangerous?”  
“None… None of them are dangerous, Mr. Graves. Not when you understand them.” Newt stated, firmly, that defensive nature rearing up.  
“But to those who lack understanding, that would mean they _are_ dangerous, correct?” Graves challenged.  
Newt’s lips thinned out for a moment before he spoke. “Any being, human or creature or animal, can be made dangerous if mistreated and misunderstood, Mr. Graves.”  
Graves sighed, and nodded, realizing his point would not be agreed upon as of yet. “Of course…of course.”  
“Mr. Graves, I know you think what you’re here for is right; that you think this is necessary, for the security of the community.” Queenie spoke up then. “You mean well, in your own way, but your own way of handlin’ it ain’t always right. And this isn’t right.”  
Graves eyed Tina’s sister a moment, taking a breath and sighing, before looking back to Tina. “…Tina, I understand what you are doing here. Picquery’s method, though she perhaps felt she had no better choice, was severe and wrong. I agree with you, and I agree that some of our beliefs, our actions, procedures, need work.  I have been made to see things a bit clearer, after my time away. I see the wrong and I see the right clearer than I had before. That…man, as mad and dark as he is, and as much as I do not believe as he does, his points did bring certain misjudgments and ridiculous factures and failures of our community to light. But, that doesn’t change where we are, now, and what we face.”  
Tina said nothing, nor did she or Queenie move from where they stood, half blocking Credence who’s attention on the conversation was going in and out as he tried his best to hold it together.  
Graves went and sat on the armrest of the couch, hands plopping in his slightly spread lap. “I do hope that the two of us, together, can change MACUSA for a better functioning government than it has been. But Mr. Scamander, as well meaning as he may be, is a problem.” He looked to Newt.  “I mean no offense, but I am being blunt here.”  
“No need to admit the obvious.” Tina muttered under her breath about his bluntness.  
Ignoring that, Graves went on with his gaze fixed on Newt. “You are…a magizoologist? And you’ve been studying them for your book. I find that admirable. And perhaps, in more open or less populated areas, you manage handling all the creatures you care for quite well. But this is a busy city, full of no-majs and wizards and witches, who are going to become harder and harder to silence and distract. What if a mess of your creatures got loose as they did before? What if more of them, big and small, got loose, and something went wrong?”  
“Sir, I have been working with them, teaching them the risks of that, and they won’t—” Newt started defending but was cut short.  
“Mr. Scamander, they’re creatures. Animals. They can only understand so much, for so long. And they can only respect a single authority so much, I can imagine, before that Alpha aspect becomes questionable.”  
“I’m not an authority, Mr. Graves; not some warden housing them… I’m a caretaker, I’m their friend, their parent; I am what they need me to be, as living creatures need the help of other living creatures to be able to survive and thrive in this world.”  
Graves almost seemed surprised by Newt’s boldness, his passionate care for those creatures flowing for a moment there, but he calmed, taking a few breaths, flitting his gaze, and Graves shook his head. “…As well-meaning as you and your creatures are, I cannot trust you will not slip up. With them, or with yourself. And your presence here is bound to be noticed. Your presence is a threat to Tina and Queenie’s job and security, whereas your creatures are a threat to magical security. And that is where I stand on this. I will not force action from any of you, as I will not take Picquery’s harsh lead to keeping the peace.” He looked to Tina. “But I cannot be expected to overlook this without making my point profoundly heard. What I endured has not changed what my job is. So long as I have this job, then my concerns lay with our people and our culture being kept hidden as it should be in days like these, and our safety kept in balance.”  
The puffskein leapt into Graves lap for a moment, and he raised his arms, staring at it like some unusual pest. He calmed, realizing it wasn’t exactly a nasty pest like creature. But he did look at it with a certain level of attitude, flicking his gaze to Newt as the wizard had come over to remove it, stowing Harriett in his jacket then and backing off.  
With that, his gaze fell to Credence, and as if feeling the gaze on him, Credence glanced quickly over, a small tremble in his hands and shoulders, he just wanted it to go away.  
“As for you, boy—”  
“He’s twenty-two, Graves, you can treat him as such.” Tina stated defensively, seeing how Graves almost seemed to be talking down to Credence. She didn’t like him talking to him at all, but it was unavoidable, at least she could keep him at a distance for now.  
Graves took a breath, but nodded, keeping this in mind. He looked back to Credence, hesitating for a moment. But he stood again then, as he spoke once more. “…Credence. You have been through much, I know, I’ve learned, from Tina and other sources. I cannot understand the exact experience, but I gather what all it has done to you. And in no way, would I ever blame you for what you have been put through, ever. And I hope you believe me when I say, earnestly, that I hope your life to come is better to you than what it’s been thus far, as I’m sure you deserve better.”  
Credence’s shaking was still present, but it slowed, as he stared at Graves partially, head half ducked, and brows quivering.  
Graves took another small step, which made Tina straighten. He noticed, but did not show it apart from a short glance. “…But understanding does not change my beliefs…about your situation. About the situation Tina has offered you…and the good and bad it has the potential to cause.”  
Tina’s jaw set in offense, and Credence looked confused, but Graves kept on his point.  
“Credence, you deserve the comfort you are offered, you deserve a different life, surely, than what you were living. But this life…can only do you good for so long, until it starts hindering you.”  
“…W-what?” Credence questioned in a quivering voice, half facing the man. “What are you…talking about…?”  
“I’m talking about how, despite the thought behind Tina, and Queenie’s efforts, with you here…I believe the longer you sit around like this, hiding away in a place you are not allowed to thrive in, with your friends every efforts being calculated and careful… I believe at the rate you are going here, that your progress on getting better is hindered at best…and at worst, you’re developing a very sheltered situation of a life. And that does no good, for anyone. Not for you, in trying to live a better life. And not for others, who could fall prey to what you may be inclined to do, were the situation to provoke you.”  
Newt took a step forward, Queenie made a noise of disapproval and shifted, and Tina stepped closer to Graves.  
“Credence wouldn’t hurt anyone, Graves. If you had any sense to LEARN, from Newt who’s actually been STUDYING how the damn occurrence of Obscurus energy works, you’d understand better, that it’s not Credence, but a corrupted energy that acts out. So don’t you DARE imply that he would EVER hurt anyone, do not do that ever again in my presence. And definitely not under my roof.” Tina was fuming. One could see something like a mama grizzly rearing in her in this moment. Were it not for the situation and the emotions this was causing him, Credence could savor the level of importance and care he felt from Tina’s defense of him.  
Graves seemed as if his patience was being tested, nostrils flaring as he took a breath, but he kept a careful, very obviously forced smile. “…I don’t mean to imply the boy—young man—” he had to quickly correct himself before Tina could say anything, “…would ever hold malicious intent. But control is something even we cannot always manage, and that’s all I am considering here. I just believe that sooner rather than later, Credence must be allowed the chance to involve himself in the world better, and more consistently. He needs to be able to FACE the world, and all its kindness and harshness, and learn to be able to handle himself while doing so. Is that really such an unreasonable suggestion?”  
“No, it’s not.” Tina responded quickly, standing her ground as her fingers flexed and relaxed, making fists and releasing over and over. “And believe me, Mr. Graves, I have considered ALL that he needs. As you assessed, he has been with me for over half a year. I’ve not been sitting idly by, hoping for the best. But I’ve also not been dealing with some fragile, incapable child who would lash out at the drop of a hat.” She remarked.  
Credence sniffed silently, taken off guard by her words. His throat went dry, heart pounding.  
“Whatever he may seem to you, you overlook the strength he has had all this time; he’s survived over ten years past the age most Obscurial’s survive! He’s managed…to somehow…push through the worst that could be given, and still find hope enough to keep trying (to even me of morally sound mind and body, after everything…). Even in the darkest hours, he doesn’t beg for someone to fix him, coddle him. He knows who he is, what he is, and what his life is, and though you cannot see it because you’re too busy analyzing it from your own damn experiences, Graves, I’ve seen it! He will do…his best. And we are doing our best to help offer him his chance, with the love and care he deserves. And if all you have to offer here is judgment, and suggestions of weakness on my part, much less Credence’s, I will strongly advise you to leave.” Tina’s voice shook with her emotion and defensive rage, but even with trembling fingers and a shaking tone, she stood strong and demanding.  
But Graves, though taking some of her words into better consideration, as if he realized some of his own miscalculations, he certainly wasn’t letting up. “I gather, yes… I’ve been misreading the situation, to a degree. And for that, to both of you, I’ll apologize. And I only ask you try to see to it that some changes are made around here.”  
“Are you demanding me to take action, Graves?” Tina challenged, and despite the look in the man’s eye that told he wished to give a yes to her question, he held back.  
“No, Tina, I’m not. After all we’ve spoken of, I thought you’d understand me far better than you’ve managed to over this entire situation.”  
“It seems that is mutual then, since I thought you could take my word for what it was better than everyone else at MACUSA has managed to all these years. If it wasn’t for you crossing the line—”  
“You want to talk to ME, about crossing lines, while you’re harboring an unwelcomed, foreign wizard, and a former threat to the wizarding community thought to be dead—”  
“He is not a threat! Nor is Newt, if you could manage to understand—”  
“What I understand is a woman letting her emotions get in the way of her work, just as she did before.” He challenged, referring to what got her removed as an Auror before.  
She scoffed at the gall he had to bring that up. “That’s the card you want to play here? And who was the first to speak on your behalf when the council was having the hearing on whether to reinstate you yet? If at all? Who had the most faith in you to be allowed to return, despite what everyone thought could have been done to you with Grindelwald all that time?!”  
“So you’re saying now you believe the rumors that I was converted?”  
“Not at all, but your time with a Dark Wizard didn’t seem to do your already abysmal bedside manners any favors.” She retorted smartly.  
“My respect for what you have done for MACUSA despite their judgment and lack of understanding, does not negate where we stand, Ms. Goldstein. And if this is how you will continue to treat a superior, I can only begin to question your tact for the job—”  
“If you two are gonna keep yelling at each other, at least keep it about the important situation rather than attacking one another! Set some sort of mature example, rather than making jabs.” Queenie spoke up then, disapproval in her voice. She didn’t like the situation at all, there were too many heightened emotions and thoughts going on here, and she wasn’t going to endure it for it to fade into pettiness.  
“Jabs or not, I don’t believe any of you are seeing the point, here!” Graves stated.  
“I SEE the point, Mr. Graves! And I will do what I can, as I can, but I am not going to push something that doesn’t need pushing!”  
“You may be gifted witch, Tina, but you’re only a few years older than the young man you are trying to care for, what do you expect to know about what is needed?”  
“I may be younger than you, but I raised myself and my sister, and I’ve learned from that! And I’m learning from this, too—”  
“And who will get hurt as you sit here learning!?” Graves had taken another step forward.  
But that’s when Credence had had enough. His heart hammering in his chest just from the adrenaline of emotions, of the reality of the situations they were speaking of, and the raised voice, he ran forward. He ran over until he was standing between Tina and Graves, facing the other man, who was just barely the same height as Credence, the younger man actually an inch taller when standing straight.  
Graves took a step back. “Credence-”  
Tina, Queenie, and Newt stared on in awe at the boy who still shook and trembled, but somehow managed to face a conflict standing tall, not an inch of dark mist flowing from him.  
“I may be weak, Mr. Graves.” His voice broke, speaking the name, but that did not stop him as he stared the man down with shining eyes. “I may not have the strength of other wizards or witches…or people in general. And believe me, I know why I need to change that. I know I’m putting so many people at risk, including the people I care for here; it’s crossed my mind enough times… I know if my being here is not only committing an illegal act upon…everyone I associate with, then it puts them at risk of the…the dark thing inside of me….”  
There was a sniff behind him, and he felt Tina’s touch to his arm, but he kept on, body and voice trembling but he fought through it all to be heard, and it was a struggle.  
“I know I-I need to be strong, find my strength s-somehow… I know, one day, I’ll…b-be on my own. That I have to be, and I promise… I’ll find a way to be able to.” He stated firmly to Percival Graves. “I will be what I need to be, how I n-need to be…o-or I’ll remove m-myself…in whatever way I must so I won’t harm others in my failure to be better.”  
Graves sighed, looking on the verge of saying something, waving a hand to dismiss that, but Credence didn’t let him interject.  
“I have heard everything you’ve said, and I…I will be…I’ll be better.” His voice shook with a small uncertainty, but he still held a passion, a strive for sureness.  Then he looked Graves in the eye, a strength in his stance and tone then as he continued, the trembling almost slowing a bit in that moment. “But I will not stand for you questioning and judging Tina for all she’s done. For her intentions to help those she feels…need help…who she thinks deserves it. I won’t have you judging her beliefs, or her efforts. She is the best witch I have ever met, and I won’t listen to you talk down to her when she’s done better for me than all of MACUSA combined!! She’s done more than someone like you could ever manage, so don’t dare question her capabilities when she’s the best of the government you serve.”  
With that, shoulders shaking, Credence huffed from the intensity of the words he just let free, and suddenly couldn’t stand there any longer. He turned and stormed off, Tina watching him go, considering following, but she turned back to Graves, seeing him watching him go, too, and she knew that they must finish this. She glanced to Queenie before turning to Graves, arms crossed. “If you have anything else to say, say it now.”  
Queenie slipped from the room, though, as her sister wanted and she’d already been considering doing, down the hall. She made her way to Credence’s room, and hesitated at the door. She could feel such intense, fluctuating sensations and emotions seeming to pulse and chase one another, over and over, round and round, just beyond the door. She swallowed. If ever she wished she could influence emotions, it was at times like these. She knew others with her gift, whether born with it or developed, had the possibility of pushing into thoughts and memories and of affecting things that way. But she’d never learned the skill, as it seemed a violation, and it terrified her to even consider having it. She wasn’t sure she could even manage to do good with that, were she to learn it…  
Sighing, she knocked softly on the door. “Credence, hun…? It’s Queenie.. I just…wanted to come see…” she began, but her answer came in way of thoughts and feelings, as the flood of it all seemed to part, for a few clear points to get across. Credence just wanted to be alone. He seemed to think he’d be alright, gifting her a mental image (conjured or a memory, she couldn’t tell, it trembled too much) of him sitting, hugging his legs, but managing to breath calmly. His way of implying he’d calm down. She hesitated, more out of her own desire to stay with him than because she doubted him. But she respected his choice.  
“Alright… We’re just down the hall…and don’t worry, Tina’ll be sending him off soon enough.” She assured him. After telling him such, before the flood of all the intense emotions took over his mind again, there was a brief, warm flicker of a deep rooted affection and love for her sister, that extended to the rest of them, before it vanish under the rest of all the heavier emotions. Her hand grazed the door a moment as she bit her lip. “Love you, too, sweetie…” she whispered, before going back to join the others.

The faint sounds of the discussion filled their home for only a bit longer, voices raising only once or twice more, before finally, Percival Graves left, still holding some irritation, as did Tina, but they both seemed to be able to manage to mutually agree to try and understand, and commended what each other was doing in their differing situations. Tina just knew things would be rough from this point on. But she couldn’t care for that. Once Graves had gone, and she had calmed, Tina had immediately looked to her sister, asking how Credence was, only for Queenie to tell her he wasn’t doing great, but he was calming. He of course is feeling negativity, but he’s managing it, and just wants to be left alone.  
And they all intended to respect this, only for Harriett to slip out of Newt’s coat as he lowered his guard on said coat in attempt to offer a comforting touch to Tina after some time of them sitting in there waiting and calming themselves. Harriett hopped off down the hall and Newt gave a scolding sigh before hurrying after her, seeing she was more than likely intent on getting back to case.  
He just barely managed to care her, but she rolled out of his grasp and he muttered ‘bugger’ under his breath as she reached the door and nudged it open despite Newt whispering intently after her, “Harriett! Can you not respect privacy!?”  
He makes it to the door, worried Credence may be disturbed by the interruption to his time alone. But knelt at the crack of the sliding doors, peering in, he sees the young man knelt down on the other side, offering his only faintly shaking hands to scoop Harriett up, who scurried into his awaiting hands. Newt catches Credence’s eye, and he stands, opening the door slowly.  
“So sorry, Credence… She was impatient, thought she was going for the case…” he tried to explain, but Credence, though features set in a very neutral, if not burdened-by-too-many-emotions-to-translate look, simply shook his head as if to say no need to apologize. Newt straightened, looking from Credence, to where the younger man was lightly, carefully petting at the pleased puffskein’s fur. “…How are you feeling? If…that’s even an appropriate question to ask…”  
Initially, Credence only shrugged. Before finally, he met Newt’s eye. “I’m…honestly feeling…too much that at this point…it feels like nothing. That…sounds horrible…”  
Newt shook his head, and though it worried him because it was a horrible point to be at, he understood it. “It’s not…only natural, after all that.”  
“…Is Tina okay?” He asked, studying Newt’s eyes when the wizard looked back to him.  
Newt faintly smiled. “…She’s asking the same about you, I believe… Want to come ask her for yourself…?” he offered encouragingly.  
Credence took a moment to consider if he really wanted to, before nodding  and following after Newt, who led him back to the living room.  
Upon arriving, Tina stood, awkwardly at first, but her eyes were shining, and she seemed on the verge of just launching at Credence but she held back. Her lips trembled though.  
And Credence’s gaze softened and crippled a bit under his gaze. He was inclined to lower his head, but he kept eye contact, taking in a shaky breath as he pet the puffskein a moment longer before handing it off to Newt, who took her carefully.  
“….Credence… I’m so sorry…” Tina began saying, coming forward, but Credence, seeming in another stroke of daring as being so active wasn’t always usual for him, closed the distance. He walked to her, and accepted the hug she immediately offered to him. Her hold was tight, secure, and protective, and his returned hug was somewhat clinging, but trying to give something reassuring in return as well.  
“You don’t need to apologize, Tina…” he told her in a mostly firm voice, head inclined and curled against hers, eyes shut. “…Y-you’ve never done anything to need to apologize for… Please, don’t…don’t feel bad. I’m… I’ll be okay…”  
She just clung to him a little tighter, sniffing, before he pulled back to look her in the eyes.  
“I will be… With everything you do.. That you all do… I just…” he sniffed, too. “T-thank you. For everything you all do.”  
Tina sighed with a shaky smile, and put a careful, but soothing hand to his cheek, thumbing his cheek reassuringly. “Credence… Of course… You never have to thank us.”  
Credence just leaned into the touch, still not used to such a warm, caring touch. It was like the warm, motherly touch he’d been missing all his life, and he didn’t even feel like he earned it. No, now he was realizing and slowly accepting, thanks to the sisters, and Newt, and Jacob… He never needed to struggle to earn their love. He had it. They showed him such every day.

The rest of the night went about with just them all practically hanging out in their sleepwear together, keeping up late and talking. They never spoke about what happened earlier that day. Credence suggested they not talk about it, and they all just kept up random topics, from Newt’s more attitudinal creatures, to some silly criminals Queenie had heard about being caught, to Tina’s very horrible puns she’d shared with some of the elves working up at MACUSA, to Credence asking silly and amusing questions of them all (asking how certain types of magic functioned, to asking what each of their first tastes of those crazy beans were). By the end of the night, spirits seemed lifted, though perhaps were mostly just distracted. But it was what they all needed.  
It did not change the fact that, though acting as if they went to sleep, the sisters stayed up a few hours once Credence had went to bed. Queenie thankfully had a mental visual on the slumbering young man, as Newt was staying outside of his case, laying in the other bed and watching over Credence, so she was able to update her sister until they felt it was safe to sleep.  
And Newt, himself, stayed up half the night. He watched Credence as his breathing was normal, and as it heightened. Sometimes he’d rise off the bed, as if he might act, but he always waited respectfully. He gave Credence the chance, in his slumber, locked up with his own mind, to try and fight through whatever disturbed him himself. And he always did. It wasn’t a full comfort, as he still saw him tremble, heard him whimper, heard the mutter of names in fear and longing. But, it was the best comfort he could get from his friends distress.

When the next day came, though, Tina’s consideration of taking the day off was dismissed when Credence found himself going off to spend time in Newt’s case. The sisters didn’t need to be told, he was still reeling from Graves visit, and would be. And the case was more comfortable, when he felt this way. Whatever he needed, they would leave him to it.  
Queenie made sure to ask them if they needed anything before they left, as she planned on stopping by the store on the way home perhaps. Newt only advised about options for snacks, like fruits, and Credence had nothing to ask for.  
As they settled into the habitats, Newt working a bit, he kept as much of a constant eye on his friend as he could manage to. He didn’t want to seem as if he were hovering and over-worrying, of course, so it was a careful eye. A practiced system of observation, much like he did with some of his antsy or proud creatures that might be disturbed with direct eye contact.  
And Credence, himself, was currently functioning slowly, almost on habit, barely seeming to be thinking about it. He’d help some of the creatures now and again, as Newt was cleaning up some of the habitats, so Credence took it upon himself to distract the creatures. But the sweet smiles were beginning to feel too forced, and his efforts were weaker. He didn’t like being like this. Newt’s creatures deserved better, and he found himself going to sit upon one of the decks, watching his hands. He was dressed down to just suit pants and a suit shirt, cuffs a little loose. His still growing hair fell messy around his face, though it was growing into its new style, getting used to being parted as Queenie kept fixing it to be.  
Newt, having noticed Credence giving up his act, slowly made his way over. He tried his best not to make his progress over to him obvious, as he tossed some empty grates and baskets into a corner, and cleaned himself up. But, soon, he went over and plopped down beside Credence. He said nothing, and did little initially, just letting Credence accept his presence before he acted.  
But then he looked to Credence, head lightly quirked to see him as his head was ducked, and he spoke. “…Would speaking do anything to help you, Credence? I know, sometimes it doesn’t, but…sometimes, talking out what you feel can help.” He offered. He could see, Credence was on the verge of just being numb, or overwhelmed, and he just had to help somehow.  
Credence swallowed, eyes flitting to and fro across the ground, obviously taking his time to consider this.  
“You don’t have to…” Newt assured him.  
“I know..” Credence sighed, fiddling with his hands, as he tended to. He took a breath though, and seemed to be working up the words then, looking to Newt briefly, before looking away. “I’ve just been thinking…about what Mr. Graves said…”  
Newt nodded. “Of course you are.”  
Credence shook his head, and Newt kept quiet, listening as Credence explained. “Not just…hurt over it, or sad, that’s not…” he swallowed, ducking his head again. “I-I’ve been considering if maybe he was right about me, to an extent…because he said things that I’ve been worried about for a little while now and I…I realize it’s a problem…”  
“What is, Credence?”  
Credence hesitated a little longer, obviously trying to contain emotions. Newt knew that wasn’t good for him, and hesitantly laid a hand on Credence’s shoulder, which initially made him jump, but just barely. He glanced to the hand, soon warming up to it, almost partially giving a lean in Newt’s direction. “I’ve been…thinking…th-that I can’t…” he took a breath and sighed, sniffing and trying to swallow the lump in his throat. “… I can’t live off of you all, I can’t live off my friends, forever… I feel like such a child, even now, I’m on the verge of crying, I almost can’t s-speak…” his lips quivered, but he pushed himself, seeming almost pained by the struggle and Newt’s touch became more firm. “I know what you all feel, and believe, and that I may be wrong, but… I feel like a burden, and there have been…days, or even just small m-moments, when I’ve considered just leaving so I…I didn’t put any of you at risk…”  
Newt simply nodded, his automatic reaction being a need to deny Credence’s thoughts, reassure him that he was not a burden, but he resist mostly. “Credence, I can assure you that it’s not as bad as it may feel, or seem from your perspective, for us.”  
Credence just nodded. “I-I know… But do you…have you ever felt like… you were just a…” he tried to get the words out, but shook his head, running his hands through his hair then.  
“Just a what?” Newt asked carefully.  
“….Just a problem…despite everyone and everything mostly telling you different…but it’s like your body thinks it knows the truth better than anything else around you.” He tried to explained, voice so small, so unsure…he seemed to be slowly curling in on himself, his very body language showing that he felt alone.  
Newt was silent, but gave a rub to Credence’s shoulder, he removed his hand, and then nodded before speaking out loud. “…I have. Not for the exact same reasons as you, but… I have before. To a point where I had to…learn how to discern what was true for everyone, and what just seemed to be my anxious and warped perception of my situation.”  
Credence looked up to him then, seeming faintly surprised, and increasingly hopeful, his brows pulling together. “…Really? Well, wh-…”  
“Why?” Newt asked, with a soft smile. Despite Credence looking guilty over his curiosity, Newt gave him the answer anyway. “Well, not everyone in my life is as accepting as you and the others.” He gave a small grin, looking at his freckled, and lightly scarred hands. “My heart was not shared by others, my thoughts were rarely ever like those of even my friends, much less other piers…and for that, I found that it made me wonder what people thought of me. Sometimes, they would tell me. I honestly hated it, hearing it, knowing no one felt the same. Sometimes it was personal, but….most of the time, I was more disappointed…and scared, that no one else saw what I did and so they…they might do wrong because they couldn’t see. They might…” he quirked his head, looking to his creatures, “They might hurt others, in their process of trying to understand, or act… It scared me so much, and no one understood, and for a short time I questioned myself. I questioned if I was over reacting, if I was alone, if I was just a problem to everyone that they had to just…tolerate. I worried that I upset my friends and family with my beliefs and sensitivity.”  
Credence, all the while listening, felt some of the heaviness lifting from his chest. It was still there, all around, but he felt as if something had shifted under the heavy blanket of negative, to give him some sort of warmth, to make him feel just a bit better. He felt maybe Newt could understand….maybe Newt could be there in those moments with him. Maybe not in a normal sense, but his energy, which Credence found comforting and caring and positive, was one that would be welcomed as one of the few energy Credence ever allowed in… When he worried the most, when he feared and hated himself and all around him, he could think of his friend and perhaps know he was there in a way so few could be.  
Newt looked to him then. “It’s a horrible feeling, wanting to be understood, wanting to feel present with others, and yet feeling so apart from them… But, from my own experience, I can tell you Credence, it will change, it will get better. If fate doesn’t make it so, then I can promise you, me and the others will.” He smirked.  
Credence smiled back to him. It was small, but for Credence, it could still be a smile. And he nodded, looking down at Newt’s hands, still feeling that sensation, that belief, that there was something similar between them, too. Something like the augurey, perhaps, but different.

From that point on, the heavier conversations ceased, though they kept talking about somewhat important things. Like Credence deciding to change to subject, and asking about how some of the beliefs and rules and attitudes in America were different from in Europe, around London, and such, where ever else Newt had been. And Newt, more than willing to share, a different way than he did when Tina would ask, since she was more aware of things than Credence, told him all he could.

“What are the beliefs there about no-majs?” Credence had asked, as was only natural for him to do so eventually.  
“Well, first of all, where I come from, we call them Muggles.” Newt had told him to begin with, smirking, the two of them huddle in a corner, rarely getting up to check on some of the creatures as most were resting. He chuckled at the look Credence gave at the name, but went on. “But… Some opinions are similar, and it depends on who you go to. In most of the society, they aren’t as looked down upon, seen as less of a threat and more as an amusing neighbor. It’s still advised, by law, not to mingle with them thoughtlessly, but, if one were to marry, or had family related to pure muggles but knew about their magic, it’s not such a bad thing.” He told him, though he shifted a bit as he sighed and said, “There are some, of more notable blood, and some not, who see them as worthless, though. Some can even be worse than some of the witches and wizards here that dislike and distance themselves from muggles—er, no-majs. It’s very complicated.”  
“And your opinion…on how things should be…? If you don’t mind me asking…” Credence spoke.  
“Not at all.” Newt shook his head, smiling, seeming glad Credence asked. “I personally, have always believed muggles are as worthy humans as we. Just because they possess no magic…it’s never made them lesser, to me. Unique, perhaps. Fascinating, in seeing how they manage so well without something I myself tend to depend on, but…never someone to judge. If the world would not be upturned by it, I’d almost hope for there to be awareness, openness, and trust between magical and non-magical communities, but I’m very aware of the fact that…for those who now see magic as false or fairy tale, it…would be chaotic to try and merge the two. But, perhaps someday…” he shrugged. “I do enjoy the happy occasions when I find a muggle trustworthy enough to bring into our world.” He smirked. “Jacob is quite a special person, wouldn’t you agree?”  
Credence smiled, and gave a soft chuckle. “I would. He is. He’s a good person, very good… I’m glad he was able to remember.”  
“As am I.” Newt nodded.

They spoke on, of other differences; what things they were more lenient on in Europe, as opposed to America. Like certain trades, or practices. How certain creatures or types of people weren’t as frowned upon. He also spoke of what things were more strict there rather than how they were in America, but it did leave Credence wondering, and he voiced this to Newt, who stated he’d wondered it himself; would he fare better, in a life somewhere in Europe, than here?

They settled on the subject for the time being, and spent their time helping the creatures, or tending to the case, as Newt was still looking out, keeping aware of his friend, and Credence didn’t have the heart to put forth effort to anything like sketches, though he did try reading some books.  
And his next few days went as such, sometimes coming out, usually just to eat, and once for a visit from Jacob, who was both getting busier at work, and keeping away in fear of Graves finding out about him (Tina hadn’t been THAT open, as she wasn’t sure Graves could accept a no-maj knowing anything). But mostly, Credence was prone to busying himself with helping in the animal filled escape that was Newt’s case, if not losing himself in naps or endless thoughts. He would speak now and again, but more and more, he seemed to prefer silence.

But it would seem, after those few days of hiding away, Credence would find he and Newt were not the only ones wondering about what was worse here than elsewhere. It seemed others had come to the conclusion, amongst attempting to test the waters.  
Newt and Credence had been making a visit out of the case and the room, to check on the sisters and perhaps get something to eat, but found Tina speaking heatedly about something that had happened between Graves and the Madam President. Newt and Credence both worried that their eavesdropping would be alerted, but Tina must’ve seemed so intense, and her mind must have been screaming, for Queenie not to say anything as the two sat down the short hall, listening to the girls in the kitchen.  
“Teen, Teen, slow down… What-what was Grave doing exactly? You need to calm yourself a bit, your mind is screaming about as loud as you’re speaking aloud right now, it’s hard to focus…” Queenie told her sister.  
Tina sighed, shaking her head. “S-sorry, it’s just… Oh, I swear… How could she not even…?! To think, she would’ve…UGH!! I thought so much better of her, before all of this, but now…” she took a few deep breathes, before eventually, getting on to her story.  
“I got Graves to agree to a meeting with Picqeury. He agreed with me, that it was…unfair for Credence to be practically locked up here, just because of what they know he is, so we wanted to sort of…test the waters, you know? See if maybe, given the right circumstances, MACUSA and her might be accepting… So, Graves had a meeting alone with her. He of course came across a little questioning, which may have soured half the discussion, but he had to do that so she wouldn’t suspect that he knew anything, that Credence was alive….and besides, he tended to have that tone, anyways, sort of challenging.”  
“Yeah, o’course.” Queenie remarked.  
“Well…he basically asked her, hypothetically… ‘Had the boy survived to calmed enough to not inspire an attack from MACUSA’, what would she have done? You know, what would they have done, if they’d learned his situation, learned the whole story of why he lost control, why all the things had been happening… Graves, he can understand…despite that very…honestly horrible as hell day when he came over, he still understands, that Credence’s life was full of too much hardship, negativity, and controlling, horrible influences…he was bound to have outburst, and Grindelwald’s influence made things all the more worse. But Picqeury..” she huffed, annoyance clear even in such a sound. “…Her answer, maybe because she thought Graves was coming off judgmental, maybe she felt her integrity was questioned, I don’t maybe…maybe this is her honest belief… But she said she…she believes they probably would have put him away like Grindelwald, if not found some magical ‘institution’ to put him in. If that, she said they may have still attacked him if he was in his Obscurus state, feeling he was a threat…! She wouldn’t even give him a chance, Queenie..!”  
Tina’s voice quivered with emotion, and there was shifting from the kitchen that the boys heard, before Queenie spoke. “Oh, Teenie… I know it feels horrible right now, but don’t go thinking your role at MACUSA is pointless. They may not be perfect, but you’re doing good there.”  
“Maybe…but what good can I keep doing, if I feel like those I work with, that I can barely influence, are in the wrong? Queenie, I don’t… If it wasn’t for Graves, and feeling like I’d be one less open mind helping there, I’d leave that damn place…it’s just too complicated…” she shook her head, and by the sound of something shifting and dragging, she must’ve taken a seat. “But…MACUSA or no MACUSA, Queenie…you know what this means…?”  
There was silence, and a soft sigh that must’ve been the younger sister.  
Tina’s voice was thick as she spoke again. “He’ll never be accepted here, he’ll never have a chance… Not the kind he needs. Here in New York, he can’t thrive, but…even anywhere else in America, I worry…I worry he’d be treated just the same, he could be hunted if people ever found out… And he doesn’t deserve that…”  
Newt looked to his friend, he had been on his knees as they’d been listening in, but now seemed almost curling in on himself faintly.  
“He’ll be under MACUSA’s watch and judgment, I just…” Tina spoke and sighed.  
“…I know what you’re thinking, Teenie…and maybe we should talk to him about it.” Queenie offered. “See what he thinks, see how he’d feel about it…?”  
“Maybe…but not tonight, not…not right now. He’s still recovering.” Tina stated.  
Credence shifted, though. Newt could see, in the look on his face, he was feeling that sort of self-judgment, such statements made him feel like he was seen as fragile, his mind was over working and painting it as that, so drastically, though that’s not exactly what the situation was. Credence stood and returned back to room then, and Newt hesitated.  
In the end, he went to get them food, in case Credence was still hungry, and he is noticed by the sisters. Newt tells them they were listening in, but he’s not sure if Credence really wants to have they take yet anyways. But they all agreed…it was something that, soon, needed to be talked about. As living and thriving here, for their friend, was beginning to truly seem less and less possible.

Credence still kept to the case. He forced himself, out of respect and care for Queenie and Tina, to go out to visit, either to offer to help with anything, or to be present for lunch and dinner. But he would oversleep and miss out on breakfast, and any other time, he kept to the case. He didn’t even feel up to accepting Queenie’s invite to go shop or visit Jacob, nor Tina’s offer to show him a few spells.  
The very thought of putting forth so much effort, socially, made him physically tired, and he kept to tasks where it took little brain work and involved little emotion, until he chose to give it himself. And that meant helping Newt around the case, as was becoming a welcomed enough habit. He was getting to really know all the creatures, and their needs, so Newt didn’t have to hover over him to make sure he was doing anything right. That didn’t mean Newt didn’t look out for him for other reasons.  
The older wizard knew that Credence couldn’t really shake his negative mood, so taking initiative from one of his last efforts to help him, he thought encouraging him to speak might be one of the answers. As they two of them finished bringing food to the Erumpet, Newt looked to Credence as he was cleaning up, and took a moment of considering his words and Credence’s possible reactions, before he finally spoke.  
“Credence…?”  
The younger man looked up, drying off his arms, his eyes looking tired, but he was alert enough, Newt could tell.  
“…We haven’t spoken about what Tina and Graves learned, about MACUSA. About their…lack of acceptance…or how, I’m sure, it’s influence a lot of your feelings of being problematic that you told me about before… And I think, perhaps, we should…if you’re up for it.” Newt’s tone was careful and considerate as ever, not trying to push, but not being idle either.  
Credence seemed to be overdoing the drying of his arms with the towel, and finally put it away, arms just lightly red from his over-drying. “…You may be right…b-but I don’t…know where to start…what to say… I don’t know if it’s w-worth it…”  
“It’s always worth it to speak, my friend.” He encouraged, stepping just a bit closer. “And perhaps….go with whatever you’re currently feeling, or have been thinking most about. Don’t censor yourself, it’s…probably best, with all of this going on, that you get as much out as you can. I’ll even share personal experience, if it might help. I don’t…always feel the need to share, but I have my moments, when it weighs heavily in a way I can’t shake…”  
Credence looked to him, considering his offer, and nodding. They found themselves, due to Credence’s subconscious path he took, sitting by the bowtruckle’s trees. He took a seat at enough of a respectable distance, though most of the creatures had accepted him like they had Newt, some still hadn’t warmed up, as was natural. Credence sat with his knees pulled close, and as was a sort of nervous habit with him, he fiddled with his hands as he spoke.  
“I’m upset….almost, angry and sat in equal measure, that I can’t just live some sort of normal life here… I can’t live as a mug--no-maj, whatever…but I wouldn’t be accepted as a wizard. I can’t even…BE like a wizard, I don’t have a wand and I can’t perform magic, I’ve…I’ve never performed normal magic that didn’t….turn dark…” his voice was small, and it trailed now and again, as he was soon staring as if into space, towards the distance, letting the words fall out. “I don’t know if I ever will, no matter how much I want to….and I keep thinking back to how horrible it was back home… I suspected myself, off and on through my life, I think, but Ma’s hate and her beliefs, they made me so scared, I think I just…kept forgetting, I kept hiding it. I had to hide from Chastity, too, as there was a time she caught on to a sort of fascination I held with magic. Ma beat me for a whole week, each night…and Chastity…she just thought it was right, like Ma beat out some unholiness from me..” his voice quivered, and he shook a bit.  
Newt scooted closer, but hesitated in thinking of any reassuring touch, not know that touch would be best right now.  
“And I’ve thought of Modesty off and on…envying her, but thankful for whatever life she’s living…where she’s away from the hurt, the pain, the lack of love…and she’s away from me…” his voice almost broke, and he cleared his throat, shaking his head lightly. “I k-keep thinking of Graves… Of what that false man made me believe, I thought… I thought I could be so much more, that I could help my family see I was better, a-and so was magic…that I could at least save Modesty… I thought he could give me…” he huffed, rubbing over his face frustratedly.  
“Credence, don’t…” Newt softly advised, knowing the younger man was rubbing harshly at his face.  
Credence stopped, yanking his hands away from his reddened face, eyes stinging with tears he was still holding back, before he looked to Newt, and a single one fell. “H-how do you get better…from that…? How…do you find happiness, how can you feel…w-worthy, when all your life, all you knew was…was one family was either taken from you, or gave you away…and another only took you in to use you, never loved you, no matter what you t-tried to do to earn that love, she never…” he whimpered, shaking his head. He trembled now, and there was once or twice Newt notice a expelled bit of dark energy, but it was rare, and he trusted Credence.  
“…I cannot relate to your experience, Credence, but I can tell you not all families are perfect, and sometimes it’s all of them as a whole, and how life influences them…not solely you and who you are.” Newt spoke, continuing intently. “No one at school understood my love for creatures. They thought I was crazy, to believe they were worth any effort beyond knowing how to defend one’s self against them, or how to kill them… And my parents weren’t very different, though they tried to be, once they realized my career as a magizoologist was a definite, and nothing that they could deter me from.”  
Credence’s attention was held by this, a few more tears falling without cries or sobs.  
“My brother only ever tried to support me because it seemed few others would. He had a weakness, but even so, he still judged my choices and expected better. My father never liked my choices, my beliefs, he had very little patience. My mother tried, but lacked patience as well. I had…many copies of my work thrown out, many experiments and studies ruined because of their impatience and embarrassment. It’s nowhere near the physical harm you endured (I more endured something akin to that through bullying at school), but not having the care and support you believe you should have from parents is…harmful. Especially when you deserved better.” Newt finished, his last statement a bit pointed at Credence.  
The younger man lowered his gaze, sniffing in silence for a moment.  
“Say what you need, Credence…”  
“Do you think we ever find the right family…?” he asked.  
Newt took a moment to consider the question. “…I think…. I think a family is truly found, through your own efforts and beliefs, and crossing those in life who accept all of you… Family by birth or dependent claim, it…it begins as a responsibility. But how Jacob chose to help me, or Tina to defend me, or I to help you, and them… How any of us have chosen to care and love one another…? I believe that’s what the real belief of family is, that is where it’s found. In choosing those to love and commit to, rather than leaving yourself to hope those you were left with will do right by you. Though, it’s not always perfect, mind you.”  
Credence nodded. “…I love Tina, very much. And Queenie. And Jacob, and you. And I know, in my very core, all of you care for me, and are there for me…so why do I still…feel alone sometimes…?” he sounded as if he was annoyed with himself because of this.  
Newt sighed, sympathetically. “…Because, all the love in the world does not offer all around empathy. No one can know all of your thoughts and feelings (not even Queenie), in a way where they feel it, too. And knowing no one can share that, it can make one feel lonely. I think we all feel it, even the others.” He told Credence, who looked at him, as if it were hard to believe. “Some of us simply handle it better. But we are all separated into our own bodies and spirits and experiences…loneliness tends to be a price. But it’s not something that has to stick with us. It never has to.” He whispered the last reassurance to Credence.  
And Credence took in a shaky breath, spurts and spirals of darkness occurring but vanishing just as quickly, before finding himself leaning against Newt’s shoulder, where the older man welcome him for the time being, not minding at all if it only meant it helped him.

Credence actually ended up, after calming down and Newt going off to tend to some rowdy creatures, laid up against some food bags, having nodded off by accident. Newt didn’t dare disturb him, except for lunch, and Credence found himself very embarrassed when he was awoken. He hadn’t meant to fall asleep, and if it wasn’t for Newt quickly reassuring him it was fine, he would’ve been apologizing for not helping until his food got cold.  
Once done eating, and feeling perhaps just a tab bit better (at least feeling as if he wanted to do more enjoyable things rather than sit around and wallow), he went and found his sketchbook, and set to work, sitting at a distance and drawing whatever creatures passed his spot—he even did sketches of Newt with some of them, if not most of his face and torso, than at least his arms, like when he cradled one of the younglings.  
Most of his pages (he went through about five, in his spurt of creative energy and need for some sort of expressive outlet) were covered in many different coupled doodles or sketches of the creatures, though that was more with the small ones. The larger ones he’d draw singularly, or with Newt present.  
Newt had wandered by, hurrying to get what was very much like a pacifier, in a way, for one of the louder younglings, and in hurrying back after finding the creature went silent with the attention of Dougal, he’d noticed some of Credence’s work, and couldn’t help once against admiring.  
“That’s amazing work, Credence.” Newt squatted down beside him.  
Credence blushed a bit, but gave a small smile. “Thank you… I haven’t really been paying attention to how good, I just…wanted to do something creative.”  
“Well, purposefully or not, you’ve done good work once again… The way you draw my creatures, it’s… Credence, I hope you don’t mind my forwardness, but it’s lovely; you capture not only their features, their looks, but almost their energy…” he expressed, making Credence blush more, and mutter a soft thank you. Newt seemed like he wanted to say more, but he hesitated.  
Credence glanced up and noticed, hesitating before asking. “…Newt?”  
He cleared his throat, looking about, before looking between Credence and his pictures nervously. “Well…I mean, you don’t have to, but I just…got a sort of idea…” he looked him in the eyes. “I’ve thought, off and on, of eventually creating a field guide. It’s much like my Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them book, but…it’s more of a guidebook for being out in the wild, or among the creatures, and how to handle them civilly, just to help people either interact with them in person, or just help them know how to maneuver away from such creatures without disturbing them.”  
“That would be useful.” Credence reasoned, as not everyone could be best friends with the magizoologist enough to be taught first hand in a controlled environment.  
“Yes, I thought so.” He chuckled. “But…something I think would be useful with that…is, well, illustrations. Descriptions can only go so far for some people, and…well.. I was thinking, perhaps you would be interested in being my illustrator?”  
Credence’s eyes went wide, not having expected that. “You…you’d want me to illustrate your field guide? But it’s such an important book.”  
“It is…and I think I’d trust you most to illustrate my creatures. Only if you’d be willing, of course.” Newt made sure to add, eyes never leaving Credence as he just waited out his reaction and opinion, getting the feeling that he might deny it as he didn’t wish for the responsibility, in which Newt would understand. But still, he hoped.  
Credence was shaking his head, mulling the idea over, but then he really thought of it… Being able to draw these creatures, to help others identify and appreciate them, to help Newt in educating others… There was a surge of swirling excitement in the pit of his stomach. Finally, he looked back Newt, giving a small, unsure smile. “Maybe…just…if you end up deciding to in the future, I’ll consider it…”  
Newt grinned widely at that, sitting down beside him. “Well then, I will accept future consideration.”  
Credence just grinned back, glad to be able to perhaps cause the smile for once lately, rather than just inspire the need to put one on. But the thought of Newt creating that, and helping him in such a future…it made Credence realize, he didn’t know what else the future would hold. The still progressing months of him sitting here, getting better…he still had no answers for what his life would be, once he’d really found his place, if he ever did.

He could feel it…the idle, negative, or numb fog he’d been wrapped up in was changing…and in its place, he could feel the oncoming cloud of heavy negativity and doubt and fear. He didn’t want it, but he knew it was coming.

Sometimes, life tends to take a roll downhill, instead of taking the steps uphill. Progress isn’t always a smooth and even progression. Sometimes, one must be knocked down. The question was, how many times can a person be knocked down, before they could manage to finally mostly stay on their feet…?


	6. Once Confined, Now Stepping Free

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (SO sorry for the lack of updates! Gotten so busy with so many other things, both in HP/FB fandom and outside of it, but I am COMMITTED to finishing this fanfiction! ...Eventually. I do hope you forgive, if anyone is still around to read, and hope you enjoy!)

Chapter 6  
**Once Confined, Now Stepping Free**

                Tina had been back home for an hour, but even so, she seemed too preoccupied eyeing Credence with the others as discreetly as possible,  any chance she got, rather than dressing down from work or finding food or, really, anything else. She glanced to Newt, who looked just as concerned as her, and Queenie herself was restless, so she knew she wasn’t being unreasonable with her worry.  
Credence kept finding places in the living room, or kitchen, or in the bathrooms, or his own room, to organize or straighten or clean. He was unable to stop working half the time these days; he kept pushing himself to keep busy or do something for the house he was living in, even if it wasn’t actually required…which they worried that thought crossed his mind now and again, because he would stop abruptly, and look on the verge of emotion, before getting back to some sort of work (it made them wonder if they should interrupt and tell him he didn’t have to do that).  
Queenie had no answers when Tina would go to her and ask whether he seemed like he was up to talking. All she felt she could advise to them was that they leave him alone for now, as he seemed as if he didn’t want to talk about anything, or as if he were scared to.  
“Is that really best for him right now?” Tina asked her sister.  
“I don’t know, Teen…. I just know he seems real fragile right now, and I’m worried, think he’d do best to just…work through this right now, and we’ll meet him halfway when he’s ready…” she offered, but sounded unsure.

And so, they waited. And soon, with the pushing, after a few attempts at reading or art, or a visit to Newt’s creatures, Credence just…stopped doing anything. He found himself curled up in bed, more and more, each day. The girls would check in on him, bring him food. Newt stayed with him most the time, but barely spoke as Credence didn’t seem willing to speak back right now. He never made any indication that he wanted to send Newt away, but most of the time when he slept or lay in bed, his back was to the older Wizard.  
Jacob visited once or twice, and Credence and the others received letters as per usual from him, but Credence could barely even muster any interaction for the no-maj. He wrote back, but he couldn’t even leave his room to visit him in the living room. Jacob came to him, though, and left him some giggle water, ‘for later’ he had said.  
Finally, the girls didn’t think they could keep silent and wait anymore. Tina encouraged Credence to join them for dinner one evening, and he came, though he was quick to eat and they worried they wouldn’t be able to talk to him, so Tina pushed a bit.  
“Credence, I wanna ask you…to just…talk to us, please. We’re getting worried, and I don’t think it’s good for you to…just keep all this in. There’s gotta be so much going on in your head, and you aren’t talking about any of it, and I just.. We just wanna help.” She spoke carefully to him.  
He kept his head down, already beginning to fiddle with his hands then.  
Queenie made a little noise, and spoke softly. “Oh, honey, no… No, you ain’t disappointing us, you never could.”  
Tina got worried, sitting straighter. “Credence, no, never.”  
“That’s nothing you need ever worry about.” Newt stated, too.  
Credence sniffed and looked about, seeming as if he were actively trying to avoid looking to any of them, unable to find words currently. Tina was just thankful that Queenie was there to sort of translate at the moment.  
“We’re not just saying it, honey… We promise you… We’re like family…ain’t we?” she asked softly, quirking her head as if to dip to see his face, but she didn’t push.  
He sniffed again, but slowly, minimally nodded after a short shrug, which told Newt that he wished it, believed it for himself but perhaps doubted it at times, or at least doubted he was worth it.  
“Well, this is how family is. We’re just worried. We ain’t mad, or disappointment, or anything… Everyone just…wants to know what’s going on in your head that’s…keeping you like this. They can guess, but they can’t see like I can…and I promised you, unless I felt it entirely necessary, I’d never share something you really didn’t want me to share.”  
Credence partially looked up to her, realizing that she honestly hadn’t told the others the thoughts going through his mind. He glanced at the other two, shaking his head and lowering his gaze again, rubbing his hands under the table, roughly.  
Queenie reached her hand, but didn’t force any touch or contact. “Credence… No one’s gonna judge you and your feelings. You have a right to your feelings. You know, you can always talk to us.”  
And of course he knew this. It wasn’t that he didn’t know this, or that he didn’t trust them. More often these days, it was simply because he was too ashamed or disappointed in himself that he didn’t want to share his thoughts and feelings out loud. He was too scared to; it nearly literally got choked in his throat when he ever tried to think of doing so. But he raised his gaze, to look to Queenie.   
She took a breath and sighed, the noise one of slight relief, and she nodded. “Okay. I will.” Her statement left Tina and Newt confused, but despite almost being on the verge of asking, they just waited to be informed of what it was Queenie would do.  
Credence sniffed, fixing his plate and silverware into an easy-to-transport stack. “…May I be excused…?” he asked softly, weakly, his voice sounding strained from being so quiet lately, barely talking.  
Tina nodded. “Of course, Credence…” she told him, and with that, he stood, and went back to his room, shutting the door behind him and leaving the group still worried, but Tina and Newt’s attention immediately turned to Queenie then once Credence was gone.  
Queenie sighed, fixing her hair a little. “He…gave me permission, pretty much, to tell you guys what I’ve been seeing in his head. He honestly can’t find it in him to be able to explain anything, and he doesn’t want any of us worrying too much, despite where his mind and heart is right now…”  
“Then please, tell us, Queenie, because I’m so scared right now… I don’t wanna say it in front of him and make him feel worse, but I just…”  
“I know.” Queenie assured her sister, taking her hand and giving it a squeeze. She looked between the two of them, taking a breath, eyes lightly shining, but she contained whatever it was brimming in her as she then began to explain. “…He’s just sort of wallowing, with everything going on. From the stuff with Graves, to all the stuff he…heard about MACUSA, not ever gonna be open to him being here, being free, being alive…how he sees and thinks we’re struggling for him… It’s weighing on him so much… When he’s not feeling guilty over what he feels is our troubles that he’s caused, then he’s just in this…neutral zone, where he feels so little other than blankness…those moments scare me so much, because it’s like his spirit h-hides away in a dark corner, unable to be heard…” she took a breath and sighed, continuing with Tina giving her hand a reassuring grip this time. “But, when he’s not feeling those things, he’s just…looking to the future and fearing it. He’s scared what he’ll become, he thinks he’s gonna be worse one way or another—either his Obscurus’ll get worse, or that it may not but he won’t be any stronger or any more capable to take care of himself. He’s scared of the future because he…he doesn’t…doesn’t feel like he deserves to have one.” She gripped Tina’s hand a little more, her other hand going to rub under her eye briefly.   
Newt, though sometimes aware of it because he simply had a gift of a certain level of awareness, was so used to how well Queenie handled herself, he tended to forget just how her power could weigh on her. To experience such emotions so closely as if they’d been your own, and from people you care for? He couldn’t imagine it at such a raw level.  
Queenie took a breath then and sighed, though. “He always comes back to some sort of…horrible balance, of course, so he doesn’t think there’s a need for help…more like he doesn’t think anyone CAN help. At least, normally he does. But I think he’s getting worse… Where sometimes his thoughts will bug him, weigh on him, and he’ll be able to manage some stability by the end of the day, if not the next day…it’s getting harder for him to do so. The thoughts keep bugging him more and more, and his self-doubt and loathing just…seems to be wrapping him up.” She looked to Newt. “You think it could be the Obscurus?”  
Newt straightened up, thinking for a short moment. “I…I don’t…entirely know, I’m very…frustrated to say… If my theory of it converting and shifting is true, then I would say it isn’t. I would say, it will react to his intense emotions, either aggressively or protectively, but it will not force those emotions on him… But if that theory is false, then...it could be that it’s causing this…I just…I can’t know, for sure…” he lowered his gaze to his plate, seeming to be very upset at this fact.  
Tina just rubbed a hand over her face, messing with her hair before fixing it in sort of a frantic little action. “We….we have to find something we can do… We just have to.” She looked to the two of them, and they both nodded, obviously very much on the same page.

And their answer came abruptly, of course, through cause and concern.

It came as Tina and Queenie were at MACUSA. Newt was working on some paperwork, and some owl messages that he apparently needed to send to the ministry, something explaining his lack of presence (something about ‘still being in the field tending to a creature’ at the moment).  
Credence had taken to attempting to read a book at this point, sitting on the couch as Newt was writing up at the table. He did somewhat well, but more often than not, he found himself having to read certain lines three to five times over again, and he wasn’t entirely taking in everything he was reading. Just bits and pieces registered in his brain, but he wasn’t really feeling any upset or worry over failing to understand everything he was reading at first. He just…kept reading anyways. For minutes and minutes after one another, until finally, he got tired of trying. Because what was even the point?  
He suddenly threw the book down, immediately alerting Newt to his frustration as the book hit the ground and skidded across it a moment. He looked to Credence, halting in his scrawl with his quill. He finished his sentence then set it aside, standing. “Credence…?”  
“No point.” He responded suddenly, eyes shut. His body language was so different. He wasn’t curled up to hide or protect himself in fear or shame of his own emotions. He just…sat there, body language almost blank, eyes shut, though his brows were furrowed.   
“What’s no point…?” Newt asked carefully.  
“Reading…can’t read any of it… I’m not…I’m not even seeing what I’m reading.” He told him, sounding slightly frustrated.   
“It happens, when your focus is disrupted.” Newt stated, stepping over towards him. “Perhaps there’s something else we can find that you can do, though..?”  
Credence just shook his head. “No point.”  
“…Are you sure there’s nothing…? I could…show you some more spells, it’s been a while since you practiced the pronunciation and—”  
Credence shook his head. “Newt…thank you, but you were in the middle of doing something… You don’t have to do that…” he moved to go pick up the book, putting it down carefully, now seeming to slightly curl in against himself on the couch as he sat back down.  
“I was nearly finished, I only need to write the rest of the letter.” Newt tried to tell him.  
“Please don’t lie…” Credence stated softly, a tinge of emotion in his voice.  
Newt quirked his head in Credence’s direction though, standing just a few feet from the couch now. “I’m not, Credence. I promise you. I was, quite literally, just finishing things up. If you’d rather not, and just…prefer time to yourself, I understand that, just say so and I will respect it, but—”  
“I just…want time to myself…” Credence stated, but he didn’t sound all too convincing, and his sniffling afterwards didn’t help, nor did his very obvious avoidance of Newt’s gaze.  
Newt hesitated because of this, of course. “…Credence…?”  
The younger man barely looked to him.  
“…Please don’t lie.”  
Credence shifted, heading curling down a bit, and there was a soft whimper from him, as a he pulled a leg to his chest, hugging it there. Newt moved over and sat on one end of the couch, giving Credence space, but also letting him know he was there and wasn’t leaving, by joining him there.  
“Credence…”  
The younger man looked up at Newt then, taking a shaky breath and letting it back out. “I…I just…Newt…” his name from Credence’s mouth came out in an almost desperate plea, though he didn’t mean for it to, but Newt scooted a tad bit closer in reaction, before Credence continued. “I don’t know what I want…Newt, I just…don’t…want to feel… I want to be by myself, but I hate being alone… I-I want to help you all, but I know I’m useless, I…I want to be better, but I feel…so…hopeless.” He sniffed, finally dropping his head to where he couldn’t see anything.   
Newt reached a hesitant hand to his shoulder, feeling the shake of them, giving it a small grip. He was unsure if Credence was done, and didn’t dare risk saying the wrong thing so he waited a moment.  
“…E-every night, I th-think to myself, I…for the past few nights, I-I think…” he sniffed, gripping his legs, “…it just…. It would have been better…for everyone… Witches and wizards, and Mr. Graves, and you guys…i-if I’d just never reformed after…what happened in the subway…then none of this would be going on…none of this would be happening…and everyone could just…be happy…and I could just….just stop…”  
Newt was extremely concerned by these thoughts and feelings, and didn’t know how to even comment on it, so he found himself instead responded by asking, “…S-stop what, Credence?”  
“….Everything.”

And of course, after this, and very unsure but heartened efforts of offering comfort and reassurances, that Credence listened to but couldn’t fully accept, and tears as he fell into what embraces Newt could offer, Newt knew…they couldn’t sit by any longer. They needed to find their answer. Now. So he told Tina as soon as she got home. Credence had worn himself out crying, and Newt had left him to rest on the couch, so Tina ended up joining Newt in his case to talk to him, while Queenie kept an eye on Credence as he slept and as she tended to her own activities.

“He what?” Tina asked, sounding concerned over Newt’s original explanation coming across as what basically sounded like near-suicidal thoughts, which tore at her heart.  
“He wishes he never came back….wishes, after MACUSA attacked, that he never reformed…he seems so tired of everything, because all of the negative he feels is unchangeable. We cannot stand by any longer… I’m… Tina, I’m…scared for him..” Newt admitted, unable to look her in the eyes, his heavy gaze falling around him, and his voice smaller and more unsure than it had ever sounded.  
Tina sighed and nodded. “I am too. I’m terrified…but I still don’t know…what we can do. I know we’ve talked about leaving, but that would take time, to get everything arranged, whether it was just you for now, or if it was all of us, we can’t just…pick up and leave New York.” She sighed, gripping at her hair with one hand, looking as if despite her words and reasoning, she was still considering this. “But he needs something, now…Something right now.”  
Newt nodded. “He needs to be free of this environment.” He remarked, and Tina looked to him, raising a brow, interested. “Your home, us here, we’ve been what he’s needed but…that has tied in with all the horrible things he’s experienced in New York, with MACUSA, with Graves….not to mention the pressure of being only a few years younger than you and Queenie and Jacob, and yet comparing how he’s not able to do and be the same as any of you…. He needs to get away. From the reminders, from the repetitiveness. Merlin only knows, he’s probably never been out of New York in his life…”  
Tina’s arms fell to her hips, and she nodded slowly. “…That’s a good point…he’s had so little change around him…” she agreed, pacing slightly, but then she looked to Newt. “He’s gotta have more than distance, though. We’re going to have to get him to talk. A change in scenery won’t fix it for the future… It’ll get worse, we’ll just be delaying it.”  
Newt nodded. He folded his arms, tapping his foot and thinking, thinking, thinking. “…A vacation is our only option. We find somewhere safe and secure, where he can…find peace, but have some freedom rather than be locked up all day. Somewhere far and safe…” Newt described, and as Tina nodded, looking excited, or moreso just happy to be getting somewhere, he nodded back and went on. “I may know somewhere. There’s a shack, in Arizona. I’ve been there a few times when I’ve met with other magizoologists or…well…smugglers.” He avoided Tina’s gaze, but she could care less right now. “I’ve set it up to be secluded; it’s like a small farm where I’ll let my creatures out to roam a bit more freely. The land is protected by magic, most muggles always end up inclined to go elsewhere or around the area, and the creatures don’t usually stray, it’s hard for them to get out of the protection, if they ever stray that far…. He could be comfortable there, perhaps… He’d be safe. And in that safety, we could talk, about everything that needs talking about.”  
Tina nodded, taking a deep breath, and letting out a sigh of relief. “I think we’re getting somewhere, Mr. Scamander.” She grinned softly.  
He grinned faintly in return, nodding.  
She took another breath though, and paced once again, though in a less stressful fashion. “We’ll need to get tickets for a train ride there. I don’t think Credence should apparate that far, we’ll just apparate once we get off the train. I’ll need to send a notice to Picquery…”  
“I’m still…technically…in the field, so..” Newt shrugged sheepishly, almost grinning.  
Tina chuckled. “…We’ll figure this out…but, we’ll need to talk to him. And Queenie, we need to figure out who all is going.”  
“Shall we speak to them now?” Newt asked.  
Tina hesitated, before nodding. “The sooner the better…”

When they returned to the main room, Credence was awake, although seemingly still tired, and drowsy. But he was sitting, eating a small pastry, and there were a few other pastries on the kitchen table. Not wanting to put Credence on the spot without talking it over with Queenie first, Tina thought they should talk elsewhere.  
And of course, Queenie caught on without a word. “Newt, why don’t you grab one of these goodies? I need Tina to come help me.” She stated sweetly, and the two sisters left, leaving Newt confused briefly before he caught on and nodded, grabbing one far too thoughtfully and considering it before taking a bite out of it.  
Queenie entered her and Tina’s room, shutting the doors behind her, and looking to her sister. “A vacation?” was her immediately response.  
Tina nodded, letting the conversation with Newt from before flow for a minute within her mind before speaking out loud. “We think it’s the best thing for Credence…. He feels so stuck here, maybe…a break could help. And a bit of freedom… But we’ve got to figure who all is going, and—”  
Queenie gave a sweet smile, shaking her head. “Teenie…you know I’d love to go, to be there for Credence, but…don’t want MACUSA complaining and getting curious. It’s better if one of us stays behind. And anyways, I think Credence would just feel like too many of us just means we were all putting our lives on hold for him, and he doesn’t need any more guilt to force on himself…”  
It made sense of course, but Tina did frown a bit before giving a weak smile. “…Guess you’re right. You’ll be alright, while we’re gone?”  
Queenie nodded. “’Course. Might need to talk to Graves, of course… Just so he’ll keep an eye on the things I can’t, but, I can take care of things here while you guys are helping Credence. So, Arizona?” she quirked her head.  
Tina nodded. “It’s the only place Newt could think of, it sounds like it’s set up pretty well…magically shielded and protected, and open, so…it’ll be good for Credence.”  
Queenie nodded. “Good, that’s good… You know how long you guys will be gone?” she asked, just to make sure.  
Tina shrugged. “Haven’t really thought that far ahead…and honestly, feel like it’s better to just…wait and see. I’m not gonna rush him.”  
Queenie nodded. “Just…owl me, okay? Wanna make sure you guys are okay… Gonna be weird, without you all here…”  
Tina nodded, getting a sort of bittersweet look on her face. “I know… If anything goes wrong, you let me know, okay?”  
Queenie nodded, going for a hug as she said, “Same to you, Teenie. You all take care of each other, okay?”  
Tina chuckled but nodded. “Okay. And you, too.”  
They embraced for a moment, squeezing tight. Afterwards, they returned to the boys to find Newt debating with a somewhat calmer and almost, almost amused Credence, whether it was fair to get a second goody.  
Queenie just giggled. “There’s plenty to go around, Newt. Credence, honey, you want another one?” she asked softly.  
Credence hesitated, looking conflicted, and then he shrugged. “No, I’m fine…”  
Queenie knew better, though. She grabbed a small plate, and grabbed one of the pastries. “Just for later, kay?”  
Credence just nodded, as Tina then came over to sit near him on the couch. She looked to him and smiled, and he almost seemed like he might return it out of habit, but it never fully reached very far on his lips, and he lowered his gaze faintly.  
“Credence? So, me and Newt were talking, and…well… We’ve got something we wanna do with you. If you’d be up for it.”  
Credence looked to her, confused and just a bit interested. “..What is it?”  
Newt went and sat on the armrest behind Tina, as to not crowd around Credence. “Well…we thought, some distance and change, might be…nice, and helpful…so we thought, perhaps, the three of us could take a vacation. Not sure how long we might be gone, but we’d be able to…get out of New York…travel, stay somewhere different and open. You won’t have to stay inside all day. Have you ever been to Arizona, Credence?”  
Credence was surprised, taking it all in. A vacation? It seemed so abnormal to him, so when Newt asked his question, Credence shook his head. “…N-no, I’ve…never really even left New York…. But… Tina, what about your job?”  
Tina shrugged. “They’ve been frustrating me a lot lately, and…there’s other people there that can handle my load.” She didn’t even want to say Graves name unless she really needed to, right now. “And Newt’s still ‘technically’ in the field, as far as his bosses at the Ministry know.”  
Credence thought about this, but still, couldn’t really think too far into it without wondering if it was really okay. He could sense, he sort of knew, it was about him. It was because of their worry for him, it was their attempt to make things better, and guilt was already festering in his chest, but…again, he’d never…never ever left New York. And the idea of being somewhere more open…and to be free to be out in that open, made him extremely curious. “I…I don’t know…”  
“We don’t have to, Credence, you should know this…and it’s your choice. But…there’s nothing you can do here right now, that’s helping you. We just…we believe this is worth trying. Don’t you think?” Newt offered, and Credence looked up to him, looking between him and Tina.  
He looked down at his hands, then found himself looking around the apartment. It had become so familiar, a home, a constant around him…and he adored it here, he felt safe…but he also felt trap, and that made him feel conflicted and unstable, and either useless or dangerous. And again, the thought of openness, beyond the crowded feelings around him…it was so inviting. His curiosity towards seeing this place was moving beyond control. “…B-but money, and…and would you two even be…comfortable—” he was trying to deter the curiosity, to avoid giving in, his concern pushing his mind to over think and over work.  
“Credence… I haven’t been on a vacation in years, I’m looking forward to this. And we have enough money, don’t you worry about that.” Tina told him.  
“And my creatures would really be thankful for the open space, too.” Newt added in, knowing (and feeling proud over the fact that) Credence adored his creatures and would care for their comfort and joy.   
Credence hesitated a moment longer, rubbing his hands lazily, over and over, that guilt and concern still festering, but then he looked to the other two. “…I… Okay. I’ll go…so long as it won’t be a trouble.”  
Tina took his hand carefully. “It won’t.” she promised with a soft smile, her love for the younger man clear in her eyes, and Credence let some things go with a sigh, relaxing just a bit.  
And with him in agreement with the trip, they were able to set to work on their preparations.

 

By the next day, everything was practically handled, there was only at least a day’s wait on everything else. They had the ticket ordered (as Tina planned to carry Newt’s case with the rest of her luggage, and Newt and Credence would obviously be carried along within it), Tina had handed in her vacation notice and explanation, and Queenie and Mr. Graves had everything else covered.  
Newt had already informed his creatures of the travel, where they’d be going. He informed Frank and spent some time with him until the girls got a visitor, as he needed to reassure Frank of his loyalty and care, as he would soon be officially letting him go.  
But of course, he had to be out of the case and present for their visitor, whom they hadn’t had over in some time now.

“Jacob, honey!!” Queenie had nearly squealed, giggling as she threw her arms around him as Tina had escorted him up.  
Jacob laughed and grinned, the two of them practically glowing with their affection as their embrace continued for a few moments. “Hey darlin’. Missed me, huh?” he teased, but his voice was soft, as if showing that he so obviously missed her, too.  
She grinned and nodded. “Mhm. Glad you got my message in time. Tina and the boys’ll be going probably sometime tomorrow.” She looked to the others. “Thought it’d be a good send off for your vacation if we all got together again.”  
“I think it’s a wonderful send off.” Newt assured her with a grin, glad to see his very good friend, glad enough to return the hug awkwardly when Jacob went in carefully for one (he’d already hugged Tina on the way up, however rushed because of their landlady).  
“Lemme get dinner started.” Tina smiled, glad to see the others happy, even Credence though he stood apart for the moment, he seemed to be just faintly smiling—he’d obviously missed Jacob, too.  
“You break into the giggle water yet?” Jacob asked Credence, to break the ice as he stepped over to him. He didn’t want to push and automatically be like ‘Hey kid, your letters have been short, I’ve been worried because you seem off’. He knew better.  
Credence looked sheepish and guilty and shook his head. “Not yet…”  
“Perfect! Would you be okay if we brought it out tonight? Just half of it at least, should give us all a nice glass each, right?” he reasoned and Queenie nodded.  
Credence nodded to give his permission, smile softening. Jacob had a way of making Credence feel…normal. It was just that No-Maj life. As abnormal as Credence’s life tended to be, it was also sometimes too normal, so he and Jacob had lived similarly. And the man was just so big hearted in his own natural way where it weaved itself into his personality. Credence had missed it, and he tried to ignore the guilt over having shut it out over the past few weeks. “I’ll go grab it.” With that, he ducked out and went to go retrieve the bottle from his shared room with Newt.

Dinner came within thirty minutes of Jacob’s arrival, as some stuff needed more natural time to cook, plus they got distracted talking and catching up. Jacob had had a few crazy weeks with his bakery—some orders didn’t come in, there was some crazy thefts (though they were caught), he got asked for an interview, he’d got in a new selection of customers. All in all, it was going well. He’d even come up with a few more creations on his own, that he was quite proud of (a unique creation that looked like a bird, but with wild colors and icing, and every cream or jelly inside was different for each one, and he called it the Mystique Bird, and then there was one that looked like gold, and was warm and filled with chocolate, usually set by the niffler-look-alikes).  
There wasn’t too much to tell from the girls, work wise, other than changes with security, some new laws that might come in to play, and so on—they avoided anything having to do with Graves, or any of Picquery’s opinion towards what happened to Credence. There was NEVER any open talk on the current state of Grindelwald.  
Newt had even less to speak about, though he found himself getting a bit reminiscent of his time with Frank, and wondering when the time would come for the others to be set free, speaking of how he simply wanted to be sure everyone one of his creatures found a safe home, either on their own or with someone with a caring heart. He just wanted them to find their place.

They finished off the night with laughs, half induced by their drink, and half from their own good spirits and crazy stories (most coming from Jacob and his pastry-thief tales). Credence resisted the drink a bit, but he overcame the embarrassment after the first drink, as the laughter was always addictive. The night ended well, as it should have. Credence wore himself out mentally, and went to bed earliest, which meant he got first hugs from everyone, and then went on to the room.  
Jacob followed after, giving hugs to the others, before Queenie escorted him back out to say goodbye (always having to go a certain, discreet distance). She gave her hugs just in case the others laid down before she returned.  
Then it was just Newt and Tina, sitting and thinking together, of tomorrow. Tina sighed as she relaxed back on the couch.   
“….He’ll be okay…won’t he?” she asked.  
Newt hesitated, before sighing and nodding. “He will. He has to be, because…he…deserves to be. But I think he’d feel like, we need to be okay, too.” He stated then, a sudden thought, which made Tina look to him, so he elaborated. “He doesn’t want us so focused on him… And perhaps we’ve been enabling him. Something to consider, when we speak to him. We all just need a happy medium, of helping him in what way he needs, without holding him back, and ourselves back, from just…being as we must…on our own terms and with our own strength and intention.”  
“You’re right…. It’s hard… I don’t…know why I became so attached. I don’t regret it, nor judge it, but… I mean, he’s only…two years, three years younger than me, if that? And I treat him like he’s a child, or a little brother…like a brother I never had…” her voice softened. “…He just…embodies everything I want to fight for and keep safe….but he’s a person, too, a beautiful person…” Maternal, sisterly affection, whatever you might call it, it was there, strong, in her voice.  
And Newt nodded, his own care and affection, however different, there in his voice. “He is, truly… He’s certainly one of the unique few I can find myself getting close to.” He stated, giving her a look that said she was another one of them. She smiled to him at that, and he lowered his gaze. “We’ll give him time to adjust…and then we’ll…decide what we’ll do for him. With him. It’s time he was a part of such a decision.”  
Tina nodded. “It is… Well..” she stood then, Newt following suit, and she faced him. “I’ll see you tomorrow, Newt, bright and early.”  
Newt nodded, a small reassuring smile on his lips.  
They both sort of stared awkwardly, both somewhat nervous of their trip suddenly for some reason. Tina started to move for a hug, and they awkwardly worked into it, laughing. Tina blushed, but just gave Newt a short, firm squeeze, which he lightly returned, before they said their goodnights.

 

And so it was bright and early that they set out. Tina was dressed and ready, a few bags put together and stowed in another bag (her extension charms may not be as grandiose as Newt’s, but they were sufficient enough for her to put various things of luggage into a single, easy-to-carry bag). She said her goodbyes to Queenie, who headed off for her shift, after saying goodbye to the boys, too.  
Tina met them in the living room, Newt laying out the case on the ground, and lecturing some of his creatures that were trying to crawl out. Tina made a face. “You can keep them from crawling out while you’re in there, right…?”  
Newt glanced to her and faintly smirked. “Of course… They won’t be crawling through your bag, if that’s what you’re concerned about.”  
“Only a little.” She gave him a look because of his amusement. She looked to Credence then. He was dressed in one of his nicer outfits that Queenie had gotten him, and he looked so dashing, even if he looked a little concerned and nervous. She smiled warmly to him. “You ready, Credence?” she asked softly.  
He hesitated, before nodding. He offered her a small, reassuring smile(which she wasn’t sure whether it was a good or bad thing for him to do so).   
“Alright. You can go down now, Credence.” Newt told him, offering a hand to him.   
Credence hesitated, but took his hand, gripping it and faintly blushing for some reason, but he appreciated the help, and he climbed the rest of the way down. Some of the creatures sounded at his presence. Then Newt looked to Tina.   
“If you need me, just knock on the case and I’ll answer as soon as I can. I guess it should be a few hours ride, of course… We have food packed down here, so we should be fine.” He assured her. “Was there anything you needed, before I went in…?” he asked.  
Tina laughed and shook her head. “No, I think I have everything else covered. Just look out for him…” she remarked, and when Newt nodded, she nodded back. “Alright then.”  
Newt climbed down inside the case then, Tina latching it shut behind him, and carefully stowing it in her other bag. Thankfully, her singular bag did not reflect the weight of all its contents and it was easy enough to transport—she only carried it carefully to avoid jostling anything, more importantly anyone, while she walked.

Only walking a far enough distance away from her apartment, she saved time apparating to the train station. There, she waited for her train to be called upon, before going forth to offer her ticket. It was easy enough to get on and find a compartment. She had one to herself, and shut the compartment door, pulling the curtain. She pulled Newt’s case out to sit it in the seat opposite herself, and with that, she relaxed and waited. She was waiting for the train to begin moving, a few people checking in on her compartment (she had to keep her bag on top of the case all the while, just in case).

Only when it started moving, and she was mostly confident no one would come through, did she knock on Newt’s case, just to check in. Everything was going well. It seemed Credence was still spending some time with the creatures, and seemed preoccupied, and most of the creatures were being very well-behaved, so Tina was reassured.  
It wasn’t until at least thirty minutes later that Tina got concerned. She’d knocked again, after having a meal, and asked if they’d eaten yet, basically just checking in on the both of them again. Newt seemed mostly okay and only faintly concerned…but it was still concern. It turns out, Credence had decided to sleep. She wouldn’t have been so worried otherwise, as it was a smart idea to pass the time, but Newt said he seemed troubled before he decided to sleep. As if he were feeling bad again, but trying not to show it, not wanting to share, not wanting to worry. And so he’d taken up a spot he sometimes rested, near Florence’s nest, and rested there, watched over by her. Newt believed he was feeling bad that this trip was needed. That didn’t sit well with Tina, because they couldn’t, and wouldn’t go back now. So that just meant they’d have to try and reassure him once they arrived. They needed to have a good time, for themselves, so he could see it wasn’t a problem to them to be doing this.

The lengthy train ride later, finally brought them to Arizona, just an hour away from the location Newt had told them about, which Newt would aptly apparate them to once they were in the clear to do so. Tina went through the usual as she got off the train, ticket checked, a few questions about how her ride was, her plans, so on and so forth. More social talk than anything, which she quickly avoided by being short, and then lying and saying she had to at a family members house in the next twenty minutes so she ought to get going.  
She walked a decent distance from the train station, acting normal and more walking as if curious of her surroundings, and she was interested in the scenery a bit, but once she made it to a spot that seemed scarce of wandering No-maj’s, she found a place behind a tree, and pulled out Newt’s case, knocking on it for him to come out. She kept an eye out for passerby’s, but they were practically alone.  
Newt popped open the case, standing enough that his shoulders and up were out of the case, looking around. “Ah, perfect. Credence?” he spoke carefully downward. “We’re ready to apparate. Would you like to come up, or wait until we’ve made it to the cabin…?”  
Tina waited, hopeful. Hopeful that perhaps Credence was feeling better, and if not, would come out so they could help him feel better. She never got a clear answer, though. Newt climbed out, fixing his clothes faintly, but he didn’t shut the case back.  
Soon, Credence started pulling himself up and out of the case; he’d dressed down to just one of his dress shirts, a purple vest hanging open, and black pants. His hair was becoming more of a mess with its progressing length, enough that he brushed it away from his eyes as he stood out of the case, shutting it behind him, Pickett hanging from the back of his vest.  
Tina smiled to him sweetly, and he hesitated but offered a small smile back. She could see, whatever mood had stricken him was still there. She accepted this was going to be a constant reality, but also accepted they were going to change it. They weren’t returning home until they at least had SOME progress with him.  
She offered her hand to Credence, who took it as he watched Pickett climb into his vest pocket, then he looked to Newt, who wore his own dorky but kind smile, and they took hands as well after Newt had taken up his case, and Tina had taken up her bag. And with that, they Disapparated.

And when they arrived, all around them was an open valley, with mountains in the distance, scorched in the warm sun. It was a warm atmosphere, and it made Credence shift uncomfortably, but Newt smiled to him reassuringly.  
“Don’t worry. The cabin,” he nodded off in the direction of a more sizable cabin than Credence had envisioned, set with a fenced in area, as if a carol, but there was something off about it, as if there was a mirage over that area, “it’s perimeter provides a comfortable temperature level, so it won’t be so hot there. And we’ll be protected and guarded…no one will disturb us here, and there’s no need to hide inside all day.”   
Credence took that to heart, feeling that self-judging annoyance over it being necessary, but for the moment, it was trumped by his admiration of the amazing scenery, like he’d never seen before…and the fact that he could actually enjoy it. He didn’t have to hide away, sitting around, hiding in the case. He realized then, he could be free. He sniffled a bit to himself, letting go of Tina and Newt’s hands.  
“You wanna go get set up…?” Tina asked, rubbing his shoulder comfortingly, as Credence briefly rubbed over his face.  
He nodded slowly. “Y-yes… Um, Newt…”  
Newt raised his head. “Yes?”  
“Pickett, should I get him…back in the case?” he asked.  
Newt just shook his head though, and smiled. “No. I trust him with you.”  
Credence nodded, smiling faintly, and rubbing at his chest where he knew Pickett was nestled.

As they neared, they could feel it when they passed through the protective seclusion spells. And it did feel a lot more comfortable within the perimeter, and off in the distance a small section of the lake was added into the perimeter. Tina was admiring it all just as much as Credence was. It was beautiful, open, and peaceful here. It was a good place for a vacation, in Tina’s mind. In Credence’s mind, it was perfectly comforting; free, beautiful…pure. As Tina went to unload things within the house, like food, personal items, and so on, and Newt informed them he was going to let some of his creatures out into the customized fenced-in area, Credence just admired his surroundings, thoughts slowing their cruel running, and simply focused on how different this place was…how wonderful…

By the time Tina was done unloading, though, she got concerned as she came back out and didn’t immediately find Credence outside where she’d last seen him. She walked around the house, spotting Newt first as he was snatching up his Niffler.  
“See now? You’ve just lost your privileges—your friends will be outside, while you stay inside. Now get back in there…!” he stowed him in the case, shutting the lid quickly and latching it with a look on his face of a very stern parent, before looking up to Tina, grinning awkwardly and sheepishly. “Ah…Hello…”  
She shook her head, resisting a laugh, but she asked, “Have you seen Credence? I thought he was just out here, and I didn’t hear or see him come in…”  
Newt nodded, and guided her around to the other side of the house, and pointed at where Credence was slowly walking around the grounds, head moving to and fro. Newt looked to Tina, and gave a small smile. “…I think he’ll like it here, enough…. We made the right choice.”  
She smiled, eyes brimming for a moment, glad to just see him able to walk around. He looked taller, somehow strangely more open. God, Credence deserved this, all the time. They should’ve done this sooner, but she was thankful they were doing it now. “Yeah, we did…”

Finishing their duties, and making a simple dinner for their first night, it went a bit…silently. It wasn’t exactly negative in mood and energy, but it was a bit tense. Unsure. There wasn’t much conversation WITH Credence, other than asking him what he thought about the place, and him saying it was very nice, and open. Mostly conversation from that point on was made between Newt and Tina, talking about what they planned or wished to do here, showing excitement, both genuine and somewhat showy so Credence would see they were as excited for themselves as they were for him.  
Once finished with their dinner, they cleaned up together, and Newt showed Credence to the room at the other end of the house, where he could be allowed privacy if he so chose.  
It was going to be a little weird for Credence, and Newt as well thought he didn’t hurry to admit it for fear of making anything uncomfortable. But the young man had gotten so used to Newt sleeping just a bed away in the same room. Sure, sometimes Newt would sleep in a place he had in his case, if he knew he’d be up late and he didn’t want to return to the room and wake Credence, or if he or Credence felt either of them needed privacy. But, even so….it was a presence, though still close, that would be missed.  
But the room was set up rather comfortably, with a sizable bed, bigger than Credence had ever slept in, rather comforting, and mostly decent sheets and pillows. There was a bedside table, too, and a window overlooking the stables where the creatures were. There was a dresser and coat closet as well, and a desk for writing (though small, it was still decent).  
Once Credence had been settled in, with his few things he’d brought with him, clothes stowed away, drawing things set on the writing table, some of his pictures on the bedside table, they all met outside of the room for their Goodnight hugs, which was mainly Newt and Tina getting their hugs with Credence.  
Tina was firm and loving, and warm as always, holding him secure and tight and left him thinking, despite seeing her more like a very good close friend or a sister, ‘this is what a mothers hug should feel like’. He did his best to return the affection he felt, to offer back the same love and warmth. And the smile on her face showed she must have been satisfied.  
And his hug with Newt, of course, was awkward as ever. Though, they seemed to find their place sooner, and the embrace seemed more firm, Credence almost gripping the back of his coat, before letting go. His hugs weren’t as firm and true as they may have been on his better days, but, he was trying.  
They said their good nights, Tina mentioning breakfast in the morning if Credence would want to be up for it, and then they left him be, Newt assuring Credence that he still trusted Pickett to stay with him, as the little bowtruckle was determined to stay (it made Newt feel better for Credence to have some company on the first night, rather than to be left completely alone).  
He said a brief thank you, to them both, before they shut his door and left him to his rest.

The next morning went as okay as it could. He was still a bit short, and quite, other than thank you’s and brief comments. Mostly, he spoke to Pickett, or asked Newt if he was sure it was okay, to which he was always reassured it was.  
Newt offered for Credence to help him feed his creatures, to which he apologized and declined. Tina offered to teach him some spells and their origins, to which his response was the same. They decided it was best to let him choose how to spend his time, so he didn’t feel guilt about not saying yes to something. They gave him suggestions, but left it up to him.   
So Credence found himself wandering the cabin, and wandering outside the stables, and then wandering out around the land again while keeping within the perimeter. Tina and Newt, of course, kept an eye on him. They tried not to be obviously, Tina helping Newt tend to his creatures, but they watched Credence as he wandered around the land, again and again. Sometimes he’d stop, and stare in one direction for a while. Tina wondered what was on his mind…what was he seeing…what was he thinking…  
Eventually, she approached him, just wanting to check on things. She tried to make it discreet, asking him what his favorite part of this place was so far. Asking if he was liking it.  
“It’s very open…beautiful, really grand…no buildings blocking views.” She had remarked, smiling to him.  
He didn’t smile back, but he nodded. “It is…”  
“Is the open space nice, for you…?” she asked.  
He slowly nodded. “It’s…it’s different… Really nice…nice of you both to take the time and…effort to get me here…”  
She bit her lip, not entirely liking that statement. “Credence…? You know, we wanted to be here—”  
He shook his head, stepping a bit away, gripping and releasing his fists. “You don’t have to keep saying that.”  
“Credence, we’re….we’re not saying that. I mean, we’re not JUST saying that, we really do—”  
“Please, don’t.” he shook his head, turning to walk away, trying to get away, his body beginning to tremble, and he groaned in frustration.  
She didn’t want him to get to this point, so she tried, walking after him. “Credence, please. I promise, we’re just trying to help. But it’s not as bad as you think…It’s not bad at all!”  
He stopped, shaking, smoke billowing off his shoulders and sides, down his legs, and she knew, he was on the edge. He looked over his shoulder to speak to her. “I know you’re trying…. I-I know… I’m feeling…t-things that may not be true… But I can’t stop…so please….just let me… I don’t want to hurt anyone.”  
She swallowed the lump in her throat. “Credence…!”  
“I’ll be okay.” The smoke was getting thicker, and he was trembling harder.  
She tried not to let it show, in her face or through any sound, but she had a brief sob before she contained it, and forced out the words for hopeful reassurance that might stay with him as he goes into his Obscurus state. “We love you, Credence.”  
“I love y-you too… T-tell Newt…Pickett’s back in the case…” he told her, and then broke into a run, a brief cry tearing from him just before the smoke tore him apart into that chaotic mass of dark energy, writhing up into the sky, only to collide with the domed perimeter, and start going elsewhere, writhing, twisting, reaching as it shot through the air.  
“Tina!” Newt called to her, and hesitated for a moment as she watched Credence with an aching pang in her heart, she raced back over to him. “You take one side of the cabin, I’ll take the stables, alright?”  
“Take… What are you suggestion?” she questioned for a moment.  
“Shielding. To protect the cabin and my creatures.” Newt explained.  
“But… Well he be okay…?”  
“Emotionally is not something we can help. Physically, other than a few aches and pains that are always there afterwards, he’s fine. And he’ll be less likely to feel more horrible about this understandable outbreak, if we prevent any damage. He just…he has to work this out. Let him, and then when he’s done, he can rest.” He explained to her.  
She hesitated, but put aside her heavy emotions, and focused on doing what needed to be done, despite the concern in her heart. She took the opposite side of the house than the stable was on, and focused on having protection spells at the ready, wide enough to cover the house. It would take effort and focus, but she was sure she and Newt could manage it, together. This wasn’t like New York; Credence’s rage wasn’t there, just the pain and guilt, and there were less obstacles for him to crash into, making things worse. They could handle this.

And so they did. It took some effort, as Credence tore through the sky, groaning now and again, twisting and making his way for the cabin, only to collide and shoot away, going across the ground. He went after the stables, and was prevented. There were a few moments that he stopped up in the sky and writhed, twisting, only to shoot for the ground, and together Tina and Newt deterred him elsewhere.

It was some minutes later before he wore himself out. When he finally had, he ended up on the other end of the perimeter. Newt and Tina had quickly made their way over, as he lay on the ground, half propped up, eyes looking red, and breathing calming from a labored state.  
He looked up to them as they neared and stopped before him, both kneeling beside and in front of him, and he looked on the verge of whimpering and apologizing.  
Tina shook her head. “Credence…There’s no need, sweetheart.”  
He sobbed a little, head curling downward, hands gripping at the grass between his fingers.  
Newt then carefully reached out considerately, rubbing Credence’s shoulder slowly, almost like he was petting, and giving a firm, reassuring grip. “It’s going to happen, Credence…. You’ve been holding it in for half a year now, the best that you could… I know it’s horrible. It hurts, and it scares you. But here, you can let it free. You’ll be alright…and we’ll be here after, every time. I promise you.”  
Credence sniffled, giving a few sobs as he looked between the two of them, but he just curled up on the ground and let the tears flow until he wore himself out completely, accepting their words as if giving up, or giving in. They couldn’t tell if it was a good sign or not. It was just something they’d have to watch, to wait and see…

And so they did, waiting and wondering and keeping an eye. And it happened a few more times, as expected, and Tina and Newt were getting better at handling it. Credence always felt guilty, angry with himself, but…even so, he was feeling more. He would sob afterwards, and not lose himself to the darkness. He’d talk about the feelings coursing through him.

The next time he was consumed was in his sleep, and it wore on him worse than before. He’d been feeling guilty, trying to find things he could do, trying to participate with Tina and Newt, but in those first few days, it was nearly impossible not to dwell, wallow, and drown in his negative emotions. And so nightmares consumed him, leading to his obscurus tearing loose.  
It tore up the cabin, and a small part of the stables, though Newt was already awake, and Tina woke soon after, and they prevented any further damage. Once he’d wore himself out again, Tina fixed up the cabin magically, and Newt tended to his creatures. Credence wandered around, wanting to help, but scared to offer, scared he’d make things work, yet conflictingly wanting to mend the damage he’d done. Newt allowed him to help calm or wrangle some of the creatures, and Tina welcomed his help in straightening a few things, but neither of them pushed him. And once things were fixed and back to normal, the guilt was choking him. Newt and Tina seemed so…okay with it, even after what he’d done. He could have hurt them at night, if they’d both been sleeping, and they tried to tell him about the many magical mishaps they’d caused in their younger years, and a few in their older ones. When Newt started telling him about what had him kicked out of Hogwarts, he respectfully told them he just needed a moment.  
They let him go, and he went outside. He stayed out there for some time. He found a place far off, and sat out in the grass in his ruined clothes for hours, sometimes staring off, sometimes crying, sometimes curled up with his eyes shut tight. Wishing things could be different. Wishing he could be better.  
Tina and Newt stay in their rooms, with the lights out, to leave him thinking they were in bed, not worrying. But even without mutually agreeing to, the both of them stayed up very late, checking out their windows now and again, to see how he was doing. Only when Credence started making his way back, did they both actually lay in bed, slowly both going to sleep when they heard Credence moving through the house, and then the noise settled. They had to trust that if he needed anything, he would come to them.

The next morning came, and Credence woke up late. Or at least, he came out late. He stayed in bed for some time, hearing the other two awake, and unsure what to do with himself. He was still so consumed with regret, self-hate, weariness over this horrible situation he was in being what he was…but there was another tired mood brewing in him, bringing thoughts that consumed him. Thoughts and memories. Newt and Tina, saving him. Trying so hard to teach him everything of magic that they knew. Caring for him. Queenie, caring and giving to him what she could. Sweet Jacob, trying to give him some normalcy, something that he could understand in all this…and now, Newt and Tina tried so hard to find something to help him more.  
All of them, trying so hard…and what was it worth? Credence just kept breaking, so would it be worth it…?   
Tears streaming down his face, he wasn’t sure what it was building in him…it made him feel sick, yet strong. It strangled his chest and twisted his stomach, but it made his hands twitch and made him restless. He had to….do something. He had to be…more? No, he just…he needed to try… Just try. Right? He couldn’t fail them. IF for nothing else, he couldn’t keep failing them.  
And somewhere, distantly and perhaps not fully aware, he accepted that he couldn’t keep failing himself.

He was preparing for the morning, washing up, as Tina and Newt were finishing with breakfast, Newt handling the tea and toast, and Tina working on pancakes and bacon. The witch couldn’t help wondering to herself, though, if things would be better, if they were more prepared. It was a fleeting though, and also somewhat linked to her feelings of already missing her sister.  
“…I miss having Queenie around. Easier to know what’s going on, you know…?” she gave a weak smile to Newt, as they settled the plates down on the dining table set between the kitchen, hall, and living area.  
The magizoologist nodded, with a small, understanding smile, glancing to her as he set glasses of milk and cups of tea, for variety. “Yes, it has been very useful. But…perhaps it’s also good for us to be able to try and understand him on a natural level, too.”  
She nodded in agreement, of course.

Credence soon joined them, and the breakfast was awkward, but full of effort. As much effort as Credence could muster, at least. After his weak attempt of conversation by asking Tina how everything was going with her, and Tina only being able to say she’s been working on helping Newt or listing out necessities for the cabin, there wasn’t much she’d been doing. So he started asking Newt how each creature was, and got a comforting answer each time.  
After their meal was finished, he tried to offer to help tend to Newt’s creatures. And of course, Newt welcomed it. So the three of them worked together to feed them, bath a few of them (Tina struggled and had to be advised in the correct way by Credence while Newt was busy), and so they ended up having a good chance for bonding together as the evening came closer. It was nice, the smallest creatures and more energetic ones playing around, wrestling. It was mighty amusing, and even left Credence chuckling a little, which Tina and Newt discreetly felt very pleased about.  
As Tina was lulling one of the occamy’s to sleep, Newt had taken to his hut, to mix some brews that he was running low on, and Credence remembered his sketchbook had been left in there. He gravitated after Newt half for that reason, but also just because he was…used to following his presence in the case. As Newt began his work, he was searching for his sketchbook, and then began to wonder if he actually left it there… He thought he left it on one of the counters, but it wasn’t there, so he started looking around, trying to remember. As he looked high and low, he was beginning to get a little bit frustrated, and with the furrowing of his brow, Newt noticed as he finished filling a bottle.  
“Credence, what’s wrong? What’re you looking for?” he asked calmly, stepping over after setting the bottle aside.  
“My…my sketchbook. I thought I had it in here last, but I don’t…see it anywhere. Did I even have it in here last…?” he questioned, running his hand through his ear-length hair.  
Newt glanced around, thinking. “I do believe you might have—you like to leave it in here away from the creatures, and you sketched before napping, on the train ride…” Newt started looking around as well, having more of a broad view than Credence as he had a few more inches on him.  
Credence nodded and sighed, dropping to his knees and crawling around the hut, Newt standing aside momentarily. “…I…I don’t understand where it could’ve gone… The niffler wouldn’t take it, it’s…nothing special…”  
“True…I don’t think any of the creatures would’ve grabbed it… Maybe Dougal, only if he found it elsewhere, he’d want to keep it safe for you… But then he would’ve brought it back.” Newt looked around, scratching his head, and then starting to move things around on the counters.  
Credence was just feeling antsy and frantic, and trying to calm down, keep patient. Then he spotted it. It was sitting upright, tucked between some of Newt’s files, just behind some of his bottles. Feeling relief rush through him, he hurried over to grab it. “Here it is—oh!”  
As he’d pulled it, a little too eagerly, he caused one of Newt’s files to pull out and fall over, knocking over half Newt’s bottles full of his brews, and he struggled to catch them…only to drop his book, and fail to catch any of them, each bottle shattering, wasted, and spilling all over Credence’s sketchbook.  
And Credence stood there, feeling his chest clench with upset and guilt. He was silent for some time, and Newt took out his wand, looking over the mess. “Oh, Credence, your book…hold on, if I do this quickly, I should be able to…”  
Credence shook his head, shutting his eyes. “I’m sorry… I-I ruined your work…I-I…”  
“Credence, no, I can fix it—”  
“Fix me, too?” the young man found himself saying, almost spitting, out of nowhere. He surprised himself, and the thought of being fixed was both an aching hope and an offense that made him feel pitiful to need to be fixed.  
Newt’s brows furrowed. “You know I only want to help you be who you’re meant to be, Credence.” He said rather firmly, yet softly, straightening up. He looked over Credence, how his face contorted, how he only slightly shook, but seemed to want to run away from what he must feel is some horrible mistake. He took a breath and spoke. “You were held back from that, from being all you could—I only want to help right that wrong.”  
Credence sniffled, looking up to Newt with shining eyes, before shutting them and sighing. He turned and walked out. Newt didn’t hurry out after him. He could sense, he wasn’t about to have an episode, and he would allow him space for a moment. Besides, he wanted to save Credence’s sketch book before his potion ingredients set in, so he set to work.  
Tina found Credence turning up by the bowtruckle tree, a few of the creatures climbing on him, before wandering off, Pickett and Tom being the only ones to stay, each taking their own shoulder, and Credence let them be.   
She stepped closer, hesitating a few steps away. “…Do you want to talk about it…?”  
Credence was silent for a moment, before swallowing and speaking in a light, tight voice. “…Accidentally broke Newt’s potions bottles…ruined his work…and my sketch book… Just…stupid…” he sighed and shook his head.  
“What’s stupid?” she questioned, coming closer.  
He shook his head more, rubbing the back of his neck. And then he laughed humorlessly. “…Being so upset? I spilled something….and it feels like I just…d-deeply offended Newt, and his work, and efforts. I-I feel like I want…to just crawl into a hole…”  
Tina took the initiative of him opening up so amazingly, and took a seat by him.  
“….I…I almost feel like…I’m supposed to feel this way…?” his brows furrowed as he tried to work through it all. “…But things are…things I considered but denied, it’s like they’re clearing…like a fog is clearing, and I see the logic…or lack thereof… I-it’s stupid, isn’t it? How I feel…” he huffed a laugh and shook his head.  
“No, Credence, it’s not stupid.” Tina began, and the look Credence gave her had her quickly speaking, and shooting him a look right back. “No, I’m not trying to just make you feel better and say what you want to hear, don’t look at me like that.”  
He ducked his head, but there wasn’t a look of shame when he did so.  
“I’m saying it’s not stupid…because…well, for one; you’ve worried and cared so much for everything going on around you, especially anything you cause, good or bad or just…neutral…so if anything that seems bad or is bad happens because your actions, you’ve been conditioned to take on the guilt. And no, I don’t just know this because of Queenie.” She smirked smally, and she saw the smallest quirk of Credence’s mouth. “I know this because I know you… It’s just…how you are. It’s not how you’ll always be, but it’s you right now. For two; everyone has a right to their feelings, and you got worried. If you think you were feeling things wrong, it’s up to you if you want to change it. But…you’re not stupid, nor are your feelings. You, nor your feelings, have ever been that.”  
He swallowed, head still down cast, but it was more his gaze staying down, then it was him ducking his head as usual. Tina could see it, the small signs, the small changes. She wasn’t going to latch on and expect them, but god did it make her heart leap with happiness to see these changes.  
Suddenly, a nice, clean, pristine sketchbook, full of all the original drawings, was presented to Credence, and he looked up to see Newt smiling somewhat proudly.  
“Magic has a great many uses, my friend, for the ones who know how to use it.” He was practically smirking.  
Credence stared at him a moment, before giving a half smile, and taking it. “…Thank you… What about your potions? All that time you put into—”  
“Oh, they’re fixed as well. Just a simple reversal spell is all it took. Best to do it as soon as possible, depending on the situation, so the effects of whatever doesn’t set in past what reversing can help.  Believe me, Credence… I’ve broke more bottles than that in my time, and I’ve learned how to save myself from my clumsiness.” Newt moved to sit on the other side of Credence, Tom climbing onto the magizoologist, before climbing away back to his tree.  
Credence set the book in his lap, before taking a deep breath, and letting it out with a sigh. “…I feel tired…”  
Newt’s arm suddenly found its way, first awkward, and then more assuredly, over his shoulder, to give him a careful squeeze. There was a sudden release of touch, as if he would pull away the contact if Credence no longer wanted it. But the young man leaned into it, so Newt kept it.  
“Do you want to rest, maybe take a nap…?” Tina offered.  
Credence shook his head, eyes seeming slightly heavy, but he didn’t seem to intend on sleeping.  
She nodded, and then thought. Well, with them all sitting here, conversation seemed the only logical activity. The question was, what the hell should she start talking about…she wasn’t good at this. But she eyed Credence, and Newt, and thought…  
“So…I can’t remember if we told you…? Queenie and I, we were considering…maybe moving to England. Well, of course, hopefully Jacob too, might be better for them there, but…” she shrugged.  
Credence nodded, which surprised her. He looked to her then. “I overheard. When you were talking about how I wouldn’t be safe in New York…or even anywhere in America, possibly…not with MACUSA there to be hounding down on all of us, if I came out of the shadows…” the offended look he got at the reality of that hurt Tina, but he continued speaking. “…Knowing I couldn’t live normally in America, and that living with all of you meant you couldn’t either…that’s one of the many reasons I...am…was…upset… I came into your lives, randomly, and the fact that you consider picking up your lives and throwing them elsewhere, it…” he shook his head.  
“Credence.” She sighed, shaking her head a little, too, but smally. “Sure, that’s…that’s a big reason, your happiness, and your well-being, in life… I won’t lie. But there’s other reasons, important reasons, as well.”  
He looked to her, raising his brows. “…Jacob?”  
She grinned and nodded. “Yes. Of course, Jacob—”  
There was an angry yell off deeper in the case then, and a crash, and Newt straightened up, then sighed. “Monty…the oaf of a creature’s got himself stuck in one of the good bowls again, no doubt… So sorry… I’ll be right back…” he remarked, hand lingering and rubbing Credence’s back and shoulder before he was gone, the two of them watching him go, before returning to the conversation.  
Tina laughed. “Jacob probably thinks I didn’t like him at first… It’s not that I didn’t, I was just too focused on the rules, too worried about the trouble. I was trying to get my job back as an auror, and the only thing holding me back was my habit of following…” she held her tongue, then went on, “…well, following some trouble. So I tried to kind of…make up for it in every other place I could. So I was just determined to deal with him like any other nomaj. But we both know, he’s too good of a guy for him not to grow on you.” She giggled, and Credence couldn’t help but smile and nod, before she went on. “It was random…as random and unexpected as Newt, and you were…but he’s become family, just like you two.” Her voice was genuine, earnest, and Credence couldn’t help but look to her as she spoke. “And I want him to actually…be able to BE a PART of us. Not just…in passing, when we can all happen to sneak a moment. I want Queenie to have him around, because they both deserve the happiness they have around each other….”  
Credence nodded, agreeing. Even though he still felt heavy guilt and responsibility for the need and intent to possibly pick up and move, the thought of having somewhere else to call home, free, with Jacob there more often, made him feel a happy warmth in his chest.  
Tina shrugged as she continued on. “Of course, you know it’s you, and it’s Jacob, and other things. I mean, Newt’s a part of our family too, and I try not to think about it, but eventually he’ll have to head back to London… I’d miss him, not being around. Him and his creatures.” She wore a fond smile, that Credence couldn’t help but study. “Of course I’m not saying I’d follow him around, wherever he went, you know, that’s…not what I’m saying, I just… I wouldn’t mind being closer, rather than farther…away..” and with such words, she now seemed to be sporting a faint blush, giving a shaky but amused laugh as they heard the noise of Newt struggled with Monty in the distance, muttering his ‘buggers’ and ‘merlin’s beard’, and one that neither Tina nor Credence had heard before, and surely didn’t think they wanted to know the meaning or origin of.  
Credence finds himself feeling better, watching Tina, though, and thinking about her words. He’d taken her explanation mostly to heart, but really, at the moment, he was distracted at the moment by his own amusement at how flustered she seemed; it reminded him of when she and Newt drank the snuck giggle water. Tina notices Credence watching her, and she laughs, raising a brow.  
“What…? Do I have something on my face?” she asked, which was a good question, seeing as how she was apt to have many bits of food on her face without noticing.  
He shook his head though, grinning lightly. He shrugged. “No you don’t. It’s just…I don’t know…”  
“Don’t know what?”  
He almost chuckled. “…You blush more when you talk about Newt a lot…”  
Tina made a face, of course blushing more. And at that moment, it seemed Newt had just so happened to finish saving the clabbert from his entrapment, and as he came over, Tina stood and said something about needing to go write Queenie.  
Newt looked confused, and Credence only grinned and shrugged, dropping his gaze.

Credence had nearly missed dinner, as he went to take a nap despite denying one earlier when Tina offered. He somewhat regretted it. It could’ve offered him better rest and better energy, had his dreams not decided to bug him. It wasn’t as horrible as it had been in the past, with every seen causing him upset, guilt, or pain, so he was only somewhat thankful for that. But still, the dream was a bit upsetting, and he wound up eating in his room so as to not bring Newt and Tina down with, once again, an abrupt mood change.  
Once he had finished his dinner, though, and taken his dishes to the kitchen to wash them, when he found himself walking back to his room after the hugs goodnight from the other two, he had Newt following after him. And thought he was sure it was the man’s worry, and it was Credence’s natural habit to either cling or push away, he let him be.  
He set on his bed, dressed down to just his shirt and dress shirt, cuffs and a few buttons free. He rubbed at his eyes, and then looked to Newt. The older man shuffled for a moment, before going to sit with him.  
“Can I ask what the dream was about…?”  
Credence hesitated. Did he want to share? Did he want to tell Newt that he dreamt about him, having to leave, and never being able to see him again? He knew it was because the talk with Tina, and he knew it would never happen…but it made him realize more than he already knew, how much he depended on Newt’s presence and…connection. He didn’t want that gone, and the dream made it seem like it had happened. He hesitated more, fiddling lazily with his hands, before sighing. “…I dreamt about when you’d leave….to finish you book, to go back to London, and wherever else. My dreams just decided to make it like you’d…never come back… I-I didn’t like that. I know none of you can always be around but… You all mean a lot to me… I still feel like a burden, but even…feeling that…I-I don’t want you gone…”  
Newt once again wrapped his arm around Credence’s shoulder, and Credence accepted it, automatically leaning into him. Newt rubbed his shoulder. “…Dreams like to haunt us sometimes…but what we can’t realize or accept at times is…well…sometimes they’re problems working their way through, until we’re ready to face them… But, no matter what this means for you, I assure you Credence, I’m never going to be too far away. Ever. And right now, I’m here.” He assured him.  
Credence nodded, sighing and making a small noise as he curled up a little bit. He wasn’t sure why…perhaps it was the absolutely caretaker and protector energy Newt put off, with his creatures as well as his friends to a degree, but it always left Credence feeling more willing for vulnerability and closeness, the longer he was exposed to it like this. He hoped Newt didn’t mind, but….the man wasn’t moving, so perhaps he didn’t… He even kept muttering, now and again, “I’m here…” and held Credence until the young man faded back into a more restful sleep.


	7. As Once Unchanged, Now Changing

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And back sooner, with a new chapter! Please forgive spelling mistakes, I will go back through if there were, I was simply eager to get this up! Enjoy! Next chapter should be, more than likely, shorter.

         Chapter 7  
  **As Once Unchanged, Now Changing**

 

The next day proved to be, in lack of a better word, lazy. Apart from tending to or checking in on Newt’s creatures, or either Newt or Tina writing letters to anyone of importance, the three of them found themselves sitting around. Sometimes there was conversation, sometimes there was silence, and none of them seem disturbed either way.

Newt got to telling stories about his creatures when they seemed to go on in silence awkwardly at one point, as if they wanted to speak but none of them knew what to say. And the stories were quite entertaining. Most were wild, and he read from his personal journal, the three of them sitting around the empty fireplace, on the floor on blankets and pillows.  
Tina got a kick out of the story of how Newt found Dougal; the demiguise had been quite cross and judgmental with the young wizard back then. Credence, no surprise to Newt, was very interested in his story of how he found Florence; the augurey had been mistreated for what she was and what people assumed she caused. He talked about how earning her trust was a trial, but he was determined to, because he wanted to help her, save her…give her a life she deserved. Newt sounded full of nostalgia and happiness, sharing his stories, and Tina and Credence enjoyed hearing them, very much.  
Eventually, though, Credence found his mind wandering. Newt briefly mentioned how he’d taken notes on the Sudanese girls’ Obscurus, but he skipped past it. Credence was too curious, though. He knew by now why Newt still had it; he’d wanted to study it, to better understand it. And he knew, with Credence, he’d been trying to do the same, and was thankfully of a better mindset and understanding now so he was more than aware that that was only a side-note to their bond, and not Newt’s original intentions. But it did make him very curious of what Newt had learned.

“So you have theories, right…?” He’d begun to ask, before Newt could get too far, and the wizard looked up to him, Tina looking between them both.  
“Theories…?”  
“On how an Obscurus works. You studied that young girls’ Obscurus as much as you could. And I know you’ve been studying me.” Credence stated calmly, and when Newt shifted and looked concerned, like he might say something, Credence just smiled faintly and shook his head. “I haven’t really minded. I just…wondered… If you’d learned enough to help us know…how they work? I guess what I’m…really wondering, is if you know how, for the future, just, what…”  
Newt sat up more. “You want to know how it will change. What the possible dangers or positives are. If it will get worse…?”  
Credence slowly nodded. “I know it’s difficult…nearly impossible…I just wondered if you understood how it worked… I only understand, to a certain degree, how it’s linked to my emotions. That’s it… I don’t really…understand anything else, other than feeling...”  
“Which is okay, and understandable. You haven’t been able to know much about magic itself, which is what the Obscurus is; it’s your magic, strangled and….cut off from flourishing, twisting into a stronger, angrier force that will FORCE its way out.” Tina remarked, sitting up slightly as well.  
Credence nodded in understanding, then looked to Newt when the man cleared his throat.  
“All I have, admittedly, IS theories…which isn’t, in and of itself, terrible; most beliefs and sciences begin as theories and assumptions, but…it still leads to questions and doubt, which can be rather frustrating.” Newt began, but he looked Credence in the eyes then. He didn’t keep eye contact perfectly, as he tended to lack that ability unless it was a very intense moment (Credence’s intent gaze didn’t help, but the younger man didn’t mind the disconnect of eye contact). “I have two theories. I’ve spoken them to Tina and Queenie before, but…I’m a bit more sure now. Well, two theories, and one assumption with even less credibility. All I ask is neither of you set stock in my words. This occurrence, however horribly natural it is, given the situation a witch or wizard may be set into, is still too rare to lend any sturdy foundation to speak from.”  
Tina and Credence nodded, and Credence decided to tell him, “I’d rather…hear the negative first…”  
Newt nodded, taking a breath and sighing, scratching the back of his neck (he was in such a more natural state, in just his dress pants and shirt, tie undone and sleeves rolled up). “Well…the…worst case scenario I’ve assessed to be a possibility to be the result of what your Obscurus has become, and what it will grow into being like, is….well…” he obviously didn’t like this theory, didn’t WANT to believe it, but he entertained the possibility. His eyes flitted up to Credence’s. “…It’s possible that it is working its way….towards finishing you off.”  
Tina looked uneasy, and Credence’s shoulders drooped, but he still listened, nodding for Newt to go on.  
“You see, usually, unless the Obscurials’ life is changed sooner, more often, their Obscurus will slowly but surely consume them. Apart from you, Credence, at the age of 23…most Obscurial children never survive past the age of ten. You and your magic seem to be far stronger, and more durable than the norm. But it is possible…that it is still the nature of an Obscurus, to consume its host. And so, it may have taken longer DUE to your power, but it will…still consume you…I would only…” he sighed, VERY uncomfortable with this, shaking his head, rubbing his forehead and over the side of his eye, “…would only hope it would be quick. And believe me, I’ve considered trying to remove it, but I still can’t be sure of whether when I did so with the girl, if that was part of what killed her, or if was just too late, and I’d…rather not risk being the cause.”  
Credence nodded, taking a deep breath, and sighing out. “I understand, Newt… It’s okay.”  
Newt rubbed the back of his neck and quickly continued. “Well, then there’s the assumption that’s harder to prove than the theories. Perhaps, the future of you and your Obscurus…is balance.” He told him. “Perhaps it may always be a part of you, something that cannot be removed or erased, but your magic will grow and it will both learn to coexist, like two sides of the same coin. You would still have black out-like moments, but perhaps with better control, seeing as half of the Obscurus’ energy COMES from your magic. So in your magic growing, it takes power away from that dark energy. You may learn how to use and handle it both.”  
Credence nodded to that. It at least sounded better than the first theory, though he’d prefer to never have this darkness inside him ever, eventually.  
“Then, the more positive theory, more possible than the second one, but still not a sure thing… It is possible that, over time, as you learn and develop your magic and it grows in strength and power and flexibility…the more you practice and perform magic, you may not actually take power from the Obscurus….but may revert the Obscurus back entirely. As Tina said, the Obscurus IS your magic, just twisted into something tormented. But perhaps, you being free to use magic could, in a way, could turn back the damage done to it. You could, perhaps, be….rid of it. No more outburst, no more darkness like that… Your Obscurus could be in the past. That’s….the more positive possibility.”  
Credence seemed to sit a bit straighter. Obviously, he would prefer this. He prefered to be without it, and the thought made him want to practice magic, to start working on it to see if he could be different, but he knows he’s getting ahead of himself. No more sure of WHAT will happen, Credence still felt better knowing what may be possibilities.  
Though, Newt did feel the need to elaborate on his lack of assurance in any of this. “You both know, I’m no expert. This is simply born from…my experiences with my creatures, and what I’ve seen of both the girls’ and your Obscurus, Credence. So…please, neither of you commit too much trust and hope on any of this?”  
“Of course, Newt, we understand.” Tina reassured him.  
Credence nodded too. “I understand as well. But I also know you’re…pretty brilliant with these things, and you probably have a better grasp than anyone could… You actually commit your heart to figuring things out… That’s nothing to sniff at…”  
Newt smiled sheepishly, even blushed faintly, which caused his freckles to stand out quite obnoxiously.

The next day was less lazy in some ways, and more lazy in others. Tina had been researching things with Newt through the late morning, while Credence still slept, over what work she could do if they actually moved out to England, somewhere in London or other, and if so, where would be the best place. Newt had too many good and bad things to say, about too many places, that Tina decided to give up on the Where part. But she was very conflicted of what she’d be doing. Ministry job seemed like the obvious choice, given her MACUSA background, but then she wondered if she really wanted to be working for another authority organization that she may disagree with…. Though she and Newt spoke of the differences MoM and MACUSA had, it was still a little up in the air on how and what. But she was becoming more and more intent on finding an answer.  
But all the effort was only for her to end up falling asleep for a nap on the couch in the living area. Credence woke while she was sleeping, and seeing her in such a state he’d too often found himself in her home, his heart warmed and he went to make sure her blanket covered her securely (he assumed Newt may have offered her one earlier). After doing so, he grabbed what snack there seemed to be in the kitchen, something she or Newt must’ve made earlier (he was beginning to miss the sweets, as none of them could make sweets like Queenie or Jacob), and then found himself wandering outside.  
He expected to find Newt there with his creatures, but did not see him right away. He finished his snack, and went to check on some of the lovely creatures. The Beetles, the Occamy, some of the other avians, the Erumpet, and Frank of course were all out. Pickett and his kin, as well as other creatures were still in the case. But Credence went to bring food to the occamy little ones, and spent some time near the erumpet, though gave her space. But it became clear Newt was not up there with them, and Credence spotted the case with its lid wide open. So he followed down inside, looking for Newt. He assumed he was either cleaning some of the habitats, or tending to some of the other creatures that weren’t comfortable outside right now. What he didn’t realize until too late was perhaps he should’ve announced himself.  
As he hung up his vest in the cabin, in just his loose dress shirt, pants, and suspenders, he exited and upon traversing just far enough towards the tree filled area, he spotted Newt…in a state he’d not much seen him. Shirtless. For some reason, Credence felt a little flustered and like he should look away, for privacy or respect or some reason like that. And he would have, realizing that Newt apparently had his other shirt ruined by what seemed to have been Monty throwing a fit figuratively, and literally throwing mud or something. Newt was glistening, so had obviously cleaned his skin, and grabbed a more worn and torn button up shirt he had lying around.  
But Credence, despite his better intentions, stared….because Newt had…scars. So many scars.  
Along his back, some on his arms and shoulders, and even on his chest. Some looked like healed scrapes and scar lines, others were old burns, scratches in threes or fours, even a few recent bruises. So many wounds, on a decently fit but lean body. On the one hand, it made sense, it really wasn’t a surprise. With Newt’s field of work, he was bound to acquire many wounds, and much pain, dealing with creatures with a different temperament and understanding than his own, as well as more strength and power that they may not always perfect control. But, despite all his scars and wounds, and doubtless his aches and pains… Newt never ceased to be kind, and warm, and never seemed to carry himself as if all those marks ever weighed him down. So Credence had never really…thought about what he may have endured. Not thought this deeply, at least…  
He found himself staring, in fascination, but then Newt finally caught him. The older wizard was only fleetingly embarrassed (more so surprised), but laughed it off and apologized just as Credence did, which made him chuckle more as he pulled the shirt on. He noticed where Credence’s eyes lingered, and he started button his shirt, in attempt to cover the scars, unsure how they affected Credence…but then he left it half unbuttoned, considering maybe Credence was staring for reasons more than he could assume. He thought they reminded Credence of his own, and how bad those made him feel…but perhaps there was more to it?  
“…Would you like to know how I got them, Credence?” he asked kindly, moving to sit upon a tree log by the bucket of water he’d been cleaning with.  
Credence swallowed, walking over, but keeping his head somewhat down. “I…You don’t have to. I didn’t mean to stare… I just…didn’t know…you had scars, too. Not so many, not…like that.”  
Newt just smiled kindly to him, and patted the space beside him on the log. And Credence took his place there with little hesitation, still unable to keep Newt’s gaze, acting much like the magizoologist, sometimes looking up, and sometimes glancing away.  
“This one here…?” he chuckled, seeming amuse as he pointed to one settled on his shoulder. “It’s when I first took in the Niffler. He was VERY frantic, didn’t find much friendly company, and he didn’t trust me right away. Took a bit of flesh with that initial claw. Always been a feisty one.”  
Credence chuckled, shaking his head but relaxing.  
Newt searched a moment, before spotting a burn. “This one… From my time with the Iron Belly’s. I was decently adept at handling them, but a few didn’t have the patience for me. I had the proper guard on, most the time…the one time I didn’t, a lovely young male decided he didn’t like me helping his mate and spat at me. This is the result of that fire finding JUST the spot I didn’t have covered.” He shook his head, and then he looked over to another, which look like an indent in his skin. “Graphorns, bless them…they were very defensive of one another, and though they trusted me rather swiftly, that had their moments where they either questioned me or got impatient. Got a good jab on me. I healed it well enough, but it hasn’t seemed to want to smooth over .”  
Credence nodded, and then slowly pointed at some scars on the back of Newt’s hands.  
Newt looked to how Credence left his hand near Newt’s, as if to compare scars without actually speaking about doing so outwardly. So he told him, as he turned his hand over and back. “The occamy’s. Struggled to save them. A few tussles with wizards, coveting their egg shells of course… Understandably, they didn’t like, but I had to handle them rather suddenly and just somewhat roughly, to grab them and get them to safety. A lot of bites and scraps in attempt to protect themselves until they understood what was going on.” He explained.  
Credence nodded again, considering Newt’s hand, glancing at his own, before looking to Newt’s once more. Newt hesitated, before suddenly laying the back of his palm, against Credence’s inner palm, as if offering his hand.  
“Feel them…it’s alright…”   
Credence was surprised, but both because of Newt being so okay with that, as well as realizing how much he actually…wanted to feel them. It was so weird, it should be unreasonable, shouldn’t it? But…as he used his other hand, to run his fingertips over the raised skin, causing Newt’s fingers to lightly twitch, he realized why… They felt like his, but they also felt different. And something about that was…reassuring to know.    
“Do they still hurt, at all…?” Credence asked.  
“Not really. Well, the bruises, yes, just got those this morning.” Newt chuckled, but he looked over his hand, where Credence had touched, and as he withdrew his hand his fingers grazed Credence’s scars as well. “Now, they’re more just…memory than true feeling. And yours…?”  
Credence thought for a moment, then nodded. “…I think the same. I mean…sometimes the memory still hurts, but the scars don’t, anymore… They seem to stand out less now… I used to want to wear gloves.”  
“To hide them?” Newt asked.  
Credence nodded.  
“That’s understandable. But, they’re still a part of you. It’s up to you whether you choose to hide that part of you, or allow it in the open.” Newt offered.  
Credence nodded again, looking to him. And he smiled. He left Newt to get back to his business, fully dressed now, and considering that he and Newt tended to be similar in a few more ways than he was already aware of. He was aware of their shared awkwardness, and their…alternative social skills and abilities. But….maybe they’d both hurt…and maybe, like Newt, despite the wounds he’d endured, and the pain, Credence could be better for it too. He saw the wonderful person Newt was. As strong and confident and reassuring and comforting as he could manage in the moments Newt found himself in….surely, Credence might have a chance of trying to be almost as good despite the bad of his life?

When Credence returned outside of the case and inside the house, he found Tina drowsily cleaning up, yawning, and eyeing the coffee she’d brought with, obviously considering making some right now. He chuckled at the sight and she looked up to him, and huffed a laugh herself.  
“Afternoon, Credence… How long have you been up?” she asked.  
“Just an hour, at least. Did you have a good nap?”  
She shook her head, laughing again. “Yes, but it was unexpected so I’m stubborn about it.”  
Credence giggled a bit. “You don’t like naps?”  
“Well…it’s not so much that I don’t like them, I’ve just tried to avoid them unless ABSOLUTELY necessary. Too much work in my life, it always seems... Keeping up with Queenie, or work, or so on. Even when I was younger, if I napped in the middle of the day, I was either in a sour mood, or it ruined my sleep that night. Dad encouraged them, mom tried to steer me away…” she told him, a small smile on her lips, thinking about her parents, about those years.  
Credence listened with interest, obviously something about her past pulling at him, and she noticed. “…You miss Modesty?” She asked, but it was only barely a question.  
He nodded, giving a small smile. “Always.”  
She took his hand, and brought him over to the couch she’d formerly napped upon, the two sitting together. “Do you want to talk about her?”  
He considered her question, but then shrugged. “…Part of me does, but…I’ve mostly let go…allowed myself to accept she has a better family now, and she can be happy, away from…all we once had. So sometimes I just…don’t want to talk about her.” He explained and Tina nodded. Then he looked up at her. “…Sometimes I wish I could remember my family. My real family…”  
She nodded, listening, still holding his hand, rubbing it lightly.  
He shrugged, looking lost in thought. “…Sometimes I wonder if all I’ve ever been is an orphan without a family. Was I given up…and just lost in the collection of so many other kids without parents walking the…dirty streets of New York…?” he considered, before looking up to Tina. “…Or maybe I did have a family, l-like you…but something happened. I mean, I came from wizards or witches, right…?”  
She nodded. “Possibly. There are those who are born from non-magical parents, but there’s always some sort of magical blood in their blood line somewhere I believe.” She explained. “It’s very possible….do you remember anything? Even a small detail…?”  
“I don’t know….I stopped thinking about it years ago. I envied so many other orphans that either found a family, or managed to make it on their own… I-I never could, though I considered running many times… But…I.. I don’t know.”  
“Don’t know what?” she asked.  
“If I remember anything. I see things in my mind, but I can’t be sure it’s anything true…you know?” he explained, thinking about it longer. “S-sometimes….sometimes I think I see people, smiling at me… Groups. But that’s…really nothing… Other times, I see or…dream about a woman’s face. She looks…warm. Olive-skinned. Dark hair and eyes, and that’s why I wonder if she could be…” he sighed, shaking his head. “I don’t know. It could be a memory, or it could be building wishes.” He reasoned, looking to her.  
Tina nodded, moving to wrap an arm around his shoulders. “Maybe one day you’ll know.”  
“Maybe….or maybe all the family I’ll ever know and have is what I found now…” he reasoned, arms carefully wrapping around her in return as he leaned into her embrace. Then he softly spoke, “…I think I can be happy with just that.”

The days were going by more and more naturally that, though Credence was well aware of how different it was from his norm, Tina and Newt seemed to have moments of awareness and moments of thriving on the comfort and normalcy that they didn’t really noticed and focus on it. And that comforted Credence, to see they could worry less about him. The worry was reassuring, but when it was constant, it was a burden. And he felt less of that burden now. Especially when he spotted them hanging on in the living area, fire going. He would pass through as they would be speaking to one another, about their lives at their schools, about teachers, about some of their crazy local wizarding celebrities… More natural things than laws and rules and worries over the impossible.  
Not only did their more natural bonding reassure him…it amused and fascinated him. They would hold lingering looks, or stare at one another when the other wasn’t looking. He noticed these things in passing and when he was present. He may not have a lot of experience, but he would be a fool not to see how they felt for one another. Their conversations when they got awkward, the affection in which they’d watch each other… But of course, they always got back to business or other important matters.  
They’d been so busy taking care of them, Credence got on a mission. Sort of to pay them back, to help them. He wouldn’t push, but maybe he could help them step a bit more past their awkwardness and distractions. And maybe at times, trying to help them was a distraction to him, too, but it didn’t feel like a bad one.

He intended to address their feelings, but he was going to be as discreet as he was able. He started with Tina. For some reason, it seemed easier to do address her to start with.  
He got to talking to her, by talking about his own experience. He controlled himself mostly from making it too much about him, but couldn’t help getting into a bit of venting of his emotions over his experiences, but it led her to not be suspicious, so it both helped him and helped his intentions, so it worked out perfectly.  
One of the things he found himself confessing was…his attractions. He told her about how, though he’d not felt too much for many people, there had been a few strangers he’d seen more than once passing back the church. One girl seemed almost interested in him once, and it was flattering yet uncomfortable. Then there were the men he would see, and find himself staring at. He knew he’d somewhat confessed how his attraction was inclined in the past with Tina and the others, but he didn’t talk about it often so he wasn’t sure how either of them would feel. But Tina didn’t seem to mind. She seemed more surprised by him bringing up a girl, and it seemed as if it made more sense when he said the girl made him uncomfortable, but the fleeting good looking men were the ones that caught his eye.  
“I never felt…feelings. Not really. I got ideas if they seemed interesting or different enough, but…I never knew enough, never trusted enough to feel anything.” He explained. He was trying to stay on his point, stay with his true intentions, but he found himself expressing things he hadn’t allowed himself before when he’d tried to keep so much in. He looked to Tina. “I fantasized a few times. More often it was about someone to take me away. I didn’t know what…someone caring for me was like, so I didn’t think about it too much…I…I guess maybe I might have felt things for…who I thought that fake Mr. Graves was… But that was stupid.” He shook his head, dismissing it. “I just…I don’t…really know what it’s like, to feel for someone that way…the right way… Do you, Tina…?” he asked then, looking curious and hopeful. He was fairly confident his ulterior motives weren’t suspected.  
She sighed, shaking her head and smiling at him. “Credence? Your feelings aren’t stupid. Feelings are an…uncontrollable fact of who we are and how we function. They can be influenced by us, and by others and by the actions around us, but…there’s no controlling it. Sure, what you felt for that evil man, it may have seemed like romantic feelings…may have almost been, but there was…a lot of dependency there, too. He seemed to be the only soul that cared about the hell you were living in, when no one else did, so of course that would have drawn you in…” Credence nodded, gripping her hand, and she continued, scooting closer, leaving Credence with that familiar, weird combined sensation of her feeling like a sister and a mother all at once, as she spoke. “As for…what…being in love feels like? I can’t paint a perfect picture that you might be able to compare to in the future, because I’m sure it’s different for everyone. But….I don’t know. There’s love and admiration and care and concern…longing. You have different levels of those feelings for friends, and family, sometimes one stronger than the other. But I…I would assume,” she brushed hair behind her ear, shifting, “…that there’s a few things more that you feel and look for and…long for, when it comes to having romantic feelings. Where you might look for the company, and laughter, and the time with family or friends, you want them to be happy… Maybe, when you love someone that way, you want to be more a part of that laughter, that happiness… The cause, if not part of it. You don’t just want their company, you want to be very close to them. You want them to know all of you, and you want to know all about them… And of course, there’s the attraction.” She laughed, blushing and sitting straighter. “That’s usually something more often exclusive to romantic feelings. Usually.”  
Credence nodded, smiling a little as he noticed her eyes flitting towards the window that led to the back of the house where the creatures were.  
“But you know, Credence?” she looked to him, smiling softly. “It really…wasn’t so wrong, to feel what you felt. Sometimes, you just can’t help it. And I know it hurt, and it…can still hurt. But you’ll recover from it. And you’ll find someone who slowly but surely erases all the negative of that. I know you will.” She smiled more.  
He chuckled shortly, shaking his head, and being truthful when he said, “I’m not very sure about that….if I ever manage to…feel anything like that again. I mean…have you ever…?” he asked then, trying to seem innocent in his question.  
She blushed and shrugged, looking away. “Well, not…really. At least not exactly. I mean,” she laughed nervously, “I’ve never really, truly tried to…seek something like that out. It was never really important enough to me, whether I was too focused on family or responsibilities or my job, but…apart from fleeting fancies, I…hadn’t for a long time.”  
“…Hadn’t?” Credence quirked his head, feeling a curl in his stomach, fighting a smirk on his lips as he felt very proud that his suspicions were obviously correct.  
She blushed more and gave Credence a look, noticing the almost smirk, and she almost pouted. “Oh…hush… Sure, lately, I’ve been curious of how such an addition and change in my life would affect everything….I’ve fantasized about how it would… But, that’s not really important, it—”  
Suddenly there was a soft screech outside the window, an owl that Newt must have allowed in, with a letter tied to her leg. Tina hopped up then.  
“That’ll be Queenie, probably, excuse me.” She stated, going to retrieve the letter.  
“Saved by the owl.” Credence muttered in an amused tone.  
“Oh, hush!”

Next, of course, was Newt. Credence waited a day, only to save himself from suspicion and interruption by Tina. They spent the rest of the day owling Queenie and Jacob, and for Credence it felt better to finally be doing so. He talked about possibly finishing off the giggle water when they got back from their vacation, and that if he could, he might like to visit Jacob’s shop again, spend a day with him. He was feeling rather good, and though it was a hesitant positive change, he held on to it tight.

When tomorrow came, he sought out Newt as the magizoologist was helping Frank with a wash. He tried to make it as casual as possible, like with Tina, deciding to take a similar route. But instead of JUST focusing on his feelings for Graves, he decided to clear up a strange confliction he’d had now and again when it came to his friend…. An opinion, or possible judgment, that he wondered and worried Newt might have towards his romantic and sexual inclinations. Why it mattered what Newt felt and believed, Credence wasn’t sure and chalked it up to holding so much admiration for Newt that his opinion mattered a very great deal to him.  
“Newt….you know…how I’ve talked about things between me, and Graves…” he had started. The name passing his lips, as always, tasted like bittersweet poison, but he was getting better at swallowing it away anyways.  
Newt was more alert, of course, hearing the subject matter and knowing this wasn’t some simple conversation to pass the silent minutes. He glanced to Credence and nodded. “Of course… You felt very deep affection, trust and…love for him, before.”  
Credence nodded, not meeting his eyes. “I did… At least, I thought it was love… I know now, it probably wasn’t…and if it was, it wasn’t good love… B-but… This may seem…random and silly, but do you think it’s wrong..? I mean, I know, feeling things for someone so cruel was wrong, but I…I just mean…” he took a careful breath as Newt then left Frank to dry off and finish his bathing on his own, the spray of water from the wizards wand stopping. Credence barely managed to keep eye contact with Newt as he finally got the words out. “Do you think it was wrong of me, to develop attraction and feelings for…another man…?” he’d seen enough judgment, and even endured it from Chastity in the past.   
And then Newt chuckled and shook his head, which made Credence uncomfortable because he wasn’t sure if that was a good or bad sign. But he calmed as Newt spoke. “No, I don’t think it’s wrong in the slightest, Credence. No, if I did think that, it would be quite hypocritical of me.” He smiled to him, and when Credence looked confused, the smile softened and he explained. “I’ve not…had many lasting relationships personally, and thus far have only had lasting affection for girls, or women, but… I’ve fancied enough men, for looks as well as daring and intrigue, and personality… No, Credence, there’s nothing wrong with it. Because you are a man yourself, I don’t believe in the assumptions that your love and attraction is forbidden from other men. It’s natural. No matter what anyone might tell you. Human beings, like…any other creature, simply feel as we’re…meant to feel, as we’re created to feel.”  
Credence felt a weight removed, and he visible relaxed, sighing and smiling, nodding. After dwelling on the positive curl in his chest and stomach over Newt’s expression of his feeling and opinion, and even mention of experience, he looked to Newt, who smiled to him patiently; and so he remembered his original intentions once again. “And now…for you…?”  
“Now?” Newt was confused for a moment, before catching on. “Ah…well…I guess, now, currently, my emotions and focus have been…drawn to a close female friend, but… Nothing I’m pushing of course. So much we have to focus on, things that will need to be handle before such a thing could even be a reality, i-if it could, so it…doesn’t really matter…” he of course had a blush by now.  
“When the time comes, you would be good for each other. You…seem like you could be cute, and happy. You’d be good.” Credence complimented, letting Newt know he knew.  
Newt blushed more, of course, catching Credence’s gaze, and they shared a tender look before Newt just nodded and laughed awkwardly. “Thank you, Credence…”  
And Credence nodded, feeling…better. At least, now, they had more to focus on. Something good and positive. He wouldn’t mind if their attention to him got distracted. He could focus on doing things on his own. Just so long as they were happy, too. Not just trying to make him happy.

The weeks passed by with a new, more positive awkwardness. Credence found Newt and Tina having more nights of talking about the simplest and silliest things, and it was very sweet to see. Credence himself took to drawing them a few times, when not outside drawing the creatures, like Frank in all his great beauty, or the occamy’s, or even the scenery, so he’d never forget it. He almost wished he’d brought a camera, and the found that Tina had brought one (she, Credence, and Newt took turns taking pictures, not only of the scenery, but of each other together), but he was still very proud and fond of his own interpretation of the beauty around him. The things he loved and treasured, all holding a page in his sketchbook. He was filling it up so much more, and it made him happy, flipping through and seeing them all, and thinking of how each image made him feel.

Their final week came. It was a final week chosen both by Credence’s suggestion, as well as knowing Tina had received an owl from Graves informing her a lot of laws were beginning to be considered for voting by the community, and she may wish to get back to be a part of it.  
That had one last task before they left, of course. And it was a bittersweet, but necessary one.  
Frank had stuck around after aiding New York, due to his connection and fondness to Newt, and Newt’s own attachment and reluctance to let go. But he also had not felt comfortable, while staying in New York, letting the thunderbird free so far from Arizona without knowing if he would make it there without trouble. But here they were….and Frank was home. The wondrous bird was still a bit reluctant to go, but the longer they were there, the more he seemed to be familiarizing the area, the feeling of home and welcome. Newt could see, he was ready to fly free among the canyons and across the fields. And he’d have a safe place here, to visit, if ever that moment came. But he was a wild creature, and he needed his freedom, and Newt knew this.  
They prepared a hearty meal for after, that would take it’s time cooking, giving them enough time to say their goodbyes. Even Dougal, Pickett and Tom, and the niffler made their way out to join in. The creatures all gave their little chips and chirrups, Dougal able to pet Frank’s beak fondly, before wandering off rubbing at his big eyes. Credence had embraced the Demiguise, taking the creature up into his arms. Pickett wandered off to Newt for comfort, and Tom to Credence. Surprisingly, the niffler cradled up in Tina’s arms.  
And then each of the humans said their goodbyes as well.  
Tina didn’t have too many words, other than her admiration, and affection, and how she would miss him. She smiled up at the bird, not forcing eye contacting, but catching his gaze now and again with a shaky smile. “You were so…beautiful when I first saw you, Frank… I think you know, you were my favorite.” She chuckled, and sniffed. “You have such a strong but comforting spirit… I won’t forget you, I can promise that…the most amazing thunderbird I will ever meet, if I ever meet one again.” She laughed again, shaking her head, and sniffling a bit more. “…We’ll miss you very much, but we know you’ll be happy here. You deserve to finally be home.”  
And with that, she cradled the niffler closer, against her neck and shoulder, a comfort to them both, as Credence walked forth to take his turn.  
“I’ll definitely miss you… Tina’s right…you’re so beautiful, and strong. You may have scared me, at first, but…I’m sure I scared you, too, so maybe it’s fair.” He smiled up at the avian beast, and Frank quirked his head, giving a small squawk. “You were one of my many favorites to draw, you know…so much electric gold, and stormy blue to who you are… You’ll rule these skies… Just be careful..?” Credence smiled up at him, and Frank gave another squawk, as if reassuring and confirming for Credence. And so he cradled Dougal closer, and moved back to where Tina stood, standing close to her, as Newt took his turn, already having visibly cried a bit, shoulders shaking once or twice, but he wore bittersweet smile as he stared up to Frank like the avian creature never allowed any other to do.  
“We’ve had wild months together, Frank… Pain, healing…on both ends, as you did rather scar up my back.” He teased, laughing shortly. “But we’ve had wonderful times, too. I do hope that I have helped mend the damage done to you when I found you in Egypt… I know you have help me learn so much, about you, and myself, and so much more. I’ll never forget you, you wonderful…beautiful being…” he stepped forward, and Frank cawed loudly, with affection and to Credence, it almost sounded like a cry, if birds could cry. Newt cradled the thunderbirds’ face and beak close, as Frank nuzzled him. “May no chains ever bind you again… You’re free, now. I-I love you…” Newt pet through his feathers one last time, before taking deep breaths, and stepping back, patting his pocket as Pickett’s squeaking cries sounded. Newt stepped back until he was near Tina and Credence, and they all watched Frank together, as the thunderbird stood tall, and gave a long, proud cawing song into the air, lightning striking across barely clouded skies, before with a great beat of his wings and a leap into the air, he was off…up and far away, into the world he was meant to be. They did not leave until Frank was completely out of sight, and even as he was, Tina left first, and then Credence, who returned Dougal to the case for a needed nap after an emotional day. Newt was the last to stand there after Frank was gone, seeming to take in the loss of such a wonderful friend but the pride and happiness over having returned him to where he should be. Eventually, he started taking down his part of the stables, and returned to his case as Credence exited, to remove Frank’s habitat from the case. Credence and Tina left Newt to his work, knowing he needed the time to himself.  
When he returned, of course, there was an automatic group hug. None of them said a thing, but Tina and Credence held Newt tight for some minutes.

When dinner was finished, the mood was still a bit bittersweet, and conversation was lacking. They at in silence at first, but as Credence’s mind was reeling over Frank, over the thunderbird finally finding his place, achieving the future he was meant for, of finally having a home, it of course got him thinking. About his own future and about home. About that home his future….their future, would bring. He felt anxious but in a way that was…almost exciting. So as he was half finished with his meal, and still eating, he decided to speak about it.  
“So…you two have considered that… Tina, Queenie, even Jacob, all of us….might move to Europe, if its really necessary, right?” he asked.  
Tina was surprised by the question, but she glanced to Newt and then back to Credence and nodded. “Yes. It’s a very big consideration. Something we plan to really talk about with everyone and…if it feels like a real, comfortable option, it…could be something we’d actually try to do. Have you been thinking about it, too?”  
Credence nodded slowly. “Yes. I know and accept New York can’t be home for me…but I want a home. I want somewhere I can…be, and be happy, and thrive. Somewhere…I can be free, and to be free with all of you, too. You’re my family, and…I-I don’t want to be without you.” He stated firmly.  
Tina smiled, sitting up straighter. She ate a bit more, then nodded, talking out what they’d planned thus far, her and Newt. They’d narrowed down a few places, in their talks together. They knew that somewhere somewhat near London was best, as Newt would be frequenting there and may have a place or somewhere to stay there when he needed to be near the Ministry. From what Newt could remember, he thought he could show them some possibilities of places that would fit their need for location, closeness, and possible business as they were both already well aware that Jacob surely, if he agreed, would not want to leave behind his business.  
Newt reasoned that either Portsmouth, or Bedford were the best places, though Bedford was closer distance from London.  
“We’d have to work out the prices of housing either way, but there are home and apartment options all over there, a few homes with floors that might be worth a look for Jacob’s business and housing.” Newt reasoned.  
“I definitely think Bedford would be best, since you’ve said you’ll be around London a lot, I’d rather be closer than settled somewhere random.” Tina remarked, though blushed after a moment realizing she just nearly basically stated she’d rather live closer to Newt. Newt didn’t entirely notice, and simply nodded, telling her that sometimes London could be nice, but sometimes too busy, and may be too much like New York if they were wanting a bit of change.  
Tina nodded. “A slight change would be nice, but an abrupt change would probably be too weird.” She laughed and Newt smiled to her.  
“Of course. I say Bedford is worth your looking into. Perhaps you and I can go visit. To check things out.” He blushed a bit, but Tina nodded.  
As they were plotting more and more Credence finished his meal, grabbing his sketchbook, and with a last glance at them both (having discarded their food and now deeply enthralled in talking the appeal of Bedford, how Tina might leave nearby Queenie and Jacob, maybe Credence could leave with them or in another place nearby, how they could visit Newt and he could visit them), before he left.

  
He spent the rest of his night in his room, thinking about his future, and there was uneasiness, concern, and fear, there was a little more hope and excitement than he ever allowed himself feel before. He was realizing, despite his concerns before and his guilt, this trip had been exactly what it needed to be. He wasn’t absolutely changed, but he was decently better. After so many weeks of horrible thoughts and worries and upsets, he felt so much more hopeful than he thought he could even manage to be. Surely, it would get better. He could feel it, now.

Eventually, he went through the house, intending to check on the other two. It had gotten late, and he didn’t want to miss hugs. When he headed out into the living area, though, they weren’t there, and it briefly surprised and concerned him, until he spotted them outside through the window. He headed over, wondering if something was going on, but they seemed to just be talking. And talking rather close. They seemed to be so relaxed yet energized in each other’s presence, dressed down, looking so comfortable, like this was where they needed to be right now. It made Credence smile.  
And then Tina gave Newt a kiss to his cheek, standing there for a moment, before hurrying back for the house, leaving him frozen. As she reentered, she spotted Credence, who was smirking rather widely. She blushed and laughed, rolling her eyes.  
“Oh hush…. Goodnight Credence. Sl-sleep well.” She laughed, going to hug him tight, and he returned the hug, before letting her go off to sleep.  
He looked outside, and Newt was still frozen in the same state for a moment. The warmest blush Credence had ever seen on his face, a very tender, frail, but happy look on his features, and his eyes almost seeming to twinkle. It was such a precious site. For some reason, Credence couldn’t look away. Not until Newt started heading for the house. Credence moved away from the window, going to grab a glass of water, before looking at Newt as he entered. He still wore his blush, but as he spotted Credence, he smiled.  
“Ah, evening Credence… I hope dinner treated you well? Tina and I, we…um… We’ve gotten further in our conversation over location, I think we’ve managed to figure it out. And—”  
“And finally confessed, maybe…?” he asked teasingly.  
Newt huffed a laugh, shaking his head. “…Perhaps. Then again, you seem rather aware.”  
Credence just drugged, sipping his water, amused and pleased.  
Newt just shook his head again. “Well…we’ll be preparing to leave tomorrow. Tina will be checking how soon she can get a ticket. So, its…best we get some sleep.” He told him. Credence nodded, finishing his drink, and Newt headed over, smiling to him, assessing him a moment, and smiling a bit wider with pride much like that he’d worn when seeing Frank off. “…Good night, Credence. I hope you sleep well. Have good dreams. We’ll see you in the morning?”  
Credence nodded. “Yes… I hope you sleep well, too, Newt. Good night.” He hesitated only a moment, before closing the space, and his arms wound around Newt more surely then. The settle was awkward, but he was finding his place in Newt’s arms better than before, and Newt seemed to do the same, rubbing over Credence’s back.  
“I’m so proud of you…”  
Credence felt a sting of warm tears in his eyes, and a bursting feeling in his chest over Newt’s words, and held him tighter, muttering a soft, small, “Thank you…for everything.”

They parted for the night, and Credence was nearly ready for sleep. But he needed to draw one last thing. He flipped past the picture of Frank flying off into the sky, that he’d managed to draw earlier waiting for dinner finish, and started a new one. He wasn’t sure what drove him, really, just…an excited, admiring pulse in his chest that left him warm and hopeful and happy. Happy for the subject.  
He drew a quite realistic, yet slightly more artistic vision of the kiss to Newt’s cheek, or the after affect really. The surprised, soft look on his face, the pink of his cheeks, those freckles standing out, his wild hair seeming to have blown in the wind. The shine in his eyes. Credence took time and effort to really get it right.  
He admired it as he finished, admiring the look of Newt, the knowledge of how happy he was, which made Credence happy himself. He stared at it for a few moments longer before going to bed, unable to help his eyes grazing over the capture of that private moment, grazing over the flush of Newt’s cheeks, the curve of his lips... It was quite…beautiful, and he thought perhaps it may have been one of his favorites he’d done. He stowed his sketchbook on his bedside table then, and lay back down in bed, finding his weariness consuming him swiftly, and taking him under into fantastical dreams of him and his found-family flying the world on Frank’s back, feeling absolutely and completely free.

The day was set. The next day was focused on acquiring their ticket (as they were heading back the same way they arrived, and Tina was the only one who would need one), and they were packing stuff up as well, like guiding the creatures back inside the case, packing up their close and other personal things.  
They would be leaving the day after. But it seemed, perhaps more as a positive turn of events than negative, Credence found himself enduring one last break down during their visit.

And it was so strange. Part of Credence felt as if it shouldn’t have happened, but then…perhaps it was meant to. Because, just remembering his talks with Tina and Newt, seeing that they’d finally allowed themselves close, allowed their emotions more out in the open, it had Credence thinking about his own feelings. About what he’d experience, and if he’d ever be over it. He was better, but he still hurt. Just the thought that he loved and trust someone, who basically never existed, and had had so much of his life further ruined by the person…it hurt, deeply. And though he didn’t believe any longer that it was something he deserved to feel, nor did he believe it would always be there (simply did not know when he would be able to let go), it hurt….and…instead of fighting it, or fighting himself for feeling it? He let himself feel it. He allowed the hurt, the betrayal, the disappointment, the stupidity, the cruelty of life, to consume him. He walked outside, Tina and Newt having noticed and asking if he was alright. He assured them he would be, and as he made it to the middle of the field, far off from the house, he actually smiled to them, a few tears falling.   
“I promise… I’ll be alright… I can feel it, now. And I’ll be alright. Thank you.” He told them, knowing he could trust them now to take care of it all as he let go.  
And so as he did so, his Obscurus consumed him, but it seemed to fly forth, up, and outward. But he did not tear around and seek to destroy or ruin. Instead….no, instead, the bundle of smoky darkness, curled, writhed, and burst now and again, but it kept settling, smaller and smaller, until it had finally let go.

It had truly changed. Tina and Newt could see, as they welcomed Credence back some time later. As that ball of smoke soon reformed into the young man, they saw hope in those white blank eyes before Credence’s own gaze returned inside of them.

They had hope.


End file.
